Shamoon: It's time for the match type that I always dread.
Dominga: What's not to love? You have a 15-foot high cage made of solid steel in which the competitors are trapped inside with little chance of escape and nothing to do, but beat the unholy hell out of each other. It's great!
Shamoon: It's a career shortening match type and the risk is rarely worth the reward.
Dominga: It's for a championship, that sounds like a worthy reward.
Shamoon: It depends on if the competitors are still in shape to lift the title above their heads.
Dominga: They knew the risks when they signed up for this sport and this match. If they can't handle it, they don't belong here.
A.B.: On that point, I think you can agree, Aazrie.
Shamoon: I guess.
Dominga: My problem is with two of the competitors involved.
Ring Announcer: The following Fatal-Fourway Match will take place inside a steel cage and it is for the PSW Blood Bath Championship! The first wrestler to gain a pinfall or submission will be victorious.
A heavy metal song is heard throughout the arena. Stewart marches down the ramp, shaking his wrists and popping his neck as he does so. The crowd cheers on his way down, but he ignores them.
Ring Announcer: On the way to the ring, from Ayr, Scotland, ETHAN STEWART!
Dominga: A true certifiable badass, is what he is.
A.B.: He may very well thrive in this environment.
An energetic Samba beat plays.
Dominga: Here's problem number 1.
The stage is lit with a neon purple colour. Fonsi rolls forward into a cross-legged sitting position, the lights change to red, she lifts herself to a knee and backflips, landing in a superhero pose, a strobe effect of green, yellow, white and red is created. She gets up and skips to the ring, the crowd cheering her on.
Ring Announcer: Introducing his opponents, first from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, LUISA FONSI!
Dominga: Someone please explain to me what business this glorified cheerleader has in a match like this. I mean seriously, what chance does she possibly stand?
A.B.: She's obviously the smallest participant in this match-up, but she has a great deal of speed and agility and could definitely take advantage of the cage.
Dominga: The cage is also pretty good for smashing a person's face into pulp, just sayin'
A.B.: It's like you said, she's well-aware of the risks.
Dominga: Which is what makes her being in this match all the more stupid! She doesn't stand a chance and she's risking her career and possibly her life for nothing.
An eerie set of voices is heard leading into a hard rock instrumental. The titantron shows chains swinging from side to side.
Shamoon: Ugh, this woman gives me the creeps. A cage might be the best place for her.
A.B.: Preferably with a straightjacket and a muzzle on.
Asovale walks out slowly and stiffly to a chorus of boos from the crowd, twitching while she walks. Her eyes turn wildly. She occasionally turns her head in random directions as well.
Ring Announcer: Next, representing The Madness,
from Apia, Samoa, LULU ASOVALE!
Dominga: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Shamoon is right. This environment is absolutely perfect for her, there is no escape for her opponents. I hope she starts with Fonsi.
A.B.: That also means that she's locked in there with them.
Dominga: What are you implying?
A.B.: I'm not implying anything. I'm saying that despite her physical gifts and supposed psychosis, she has a nasty habit of cutting out when the fight gets too tough or using her two dogs, Hariwana and Manu, to gang up on people.
Dominga: You're a decorated military vet and a retired policeman. I figured you'd be able to recognize a good strategy when you see one. Genius and madness tend to go hand-in-hand.
A.B. (rolls eyes): Ah yes, that tired cliché. Regardless of how I feel and her usual tactics, Asovale may very well be the most dangerous participant in this match.
An alternative rock beat plays. Out comes Evans with an arrogant swagger that earns him a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Dominga: And here comes problem number 2.
A.B.: I have to agree.
Ring Announcer: Finally, from Long Beach, USA, ROGER EVANS!
Shamoon: I don't understand your problem with him?
Dominga: You both go to the same barber, I wouldn't expect you to.
A.B.: Aazrie he dresses like an idiot, he takes nothing seriously, at his age most people have just started college, and worst of all this is his first officially sanctioned match. He hasn't wrestled a match against a real opponent before and now he's in a title match?
Shamoon: But he was trained by legends Tonye Carrera and Martin Kovac.
Dominga: I've got all the respect in the world those men, but they had their dues like everyone else. This bozo is being handed an opportunity while offering nothing.
Shamoon: I'm telling you guys, this kid's the real deal.
A.B.: I'd take him more seriously if he dropped the California Beach Bum act.
The referee raises the championship over her head, before handing it to a crewman at ringside. The cage lowers to trap the competitors in the ring. Each wrestler takes a corner. Stewart shakes his wrists and head, Asovale slaps herself, Fonsi stretches and Evans just leans against the turnbuckle. The ref signals for the bell to ring. Asovale immediately runs to the opposite corner, attempting to hit Fonsi with a lariat, but the latter rolls out of the way. Fonsi gets up and dropkicks her into the turnbuckle. She turns around into a flying forearm from Evans, who kips up and counters a punch from Stewart with a fireman's carry takedown. Asovale recovers and tries to kick him in the face, but he counters into a dragon screw.
He quickly backs away into his corner as his stunned opponents get back to their feet.
Shamoon: What did I tell you?
Dominga: Yeah, he managed to make himself a target in his match. (Claps sarcastically) Brillante!
As if to emphasize her point, Fonsi charges at him with a dropkick which he ducks under, only to get kneed in the face by Stewart. Stewart then lifts him up and Irish whips him into a vicious clothesline from Asovale, who turns the rookie inside out. Fonsi hits a hurricanrana on Stewart, Asovale grabs the back of Fonsi's head and sends her crashing into the cage wall.
Dominga: Told you.
Asovale turns her attention to Stewart, who kicks her in the gut and throws her into the corner. He then proceeds to unleash a flurry of punches, forcing her down and stomping a mudhole in her. Fonsi comes from behind with a jumping reverse bulldog. She attempts a pin, but Evans breaks it up with a high-angle senton bomb. His pin attempt on Stewart is broken up by Asovale.
A.B.: Asovale recovers and breaks up the pin.
Shamoon: To think, if she was a second too late, Evans would be champion and I'd never let you two live it down.
Dominga: Thank you, sweet virgin.
Asovale rips the turnbuckle pad off, exposing the steel underneath. She grips Evans by the head and headbutts him repeatedly, before slamming his face against the steel turnbuckle over and over until the rookie is busted open. She lifts him up onto her shoulder in a powerslam position and sends him crashing face-first into the cage, in between the top, and middle ropes. Fonsi jumps on her back, clutching her in a sleeper hold, but Asovale backs into a corner, forcing her to let go. She strikes Fonsi with harsh European uppercuts, then throws halfway across the ring. Asovale screams wildly.
Dominga: She just proved three of my earlier points just now. Evans and Fonsi have no business being here and she's the most dangerous person in the match.
A.B.: Once again, I have to agree. The mudhole that was stomped in her chest seems to have dried and now she and Stewart are trading blows.
The aforementioned combats trade blows to a stalemate for a bit, before Stewarts faster fists gain him an advantage. He knees her in the stomach, places her in front facelock, forces her to the exposed turnbuckle, drapes her arm over his head delivers a suplex. The small of her back lands on the exposed steel. She lands on her head. He catches a jumping DDT attempt by Fonsi and throws her off. He picks her off the ground, kicks her in the gut, tucks her head under his left arm while hooking both her arms behind her back. The crowd pops as he does this.
A.B.: Stewart going for the steak knife. He hits it!
Shamoon: But Evans breaks up the pin.
A.B.: And Stewart is going to make him pay for it.
Stewart attempts the Steak Knife on Evans, but the latter counters with a back body drop. Stewart recovers quickly and runs into a superkick.
A.B.: Evans with a superkick, he might win this.
Dominga: But look at Asovale, she's back on her feet.
Shamoon: Watch out, Roger!
A.B.: Asovale charges fool speed...,Evans with a Superkick! He almost took her head off.
Dominga: No! No! No!
Shamoon: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Evans collapses on his back, the ref counts to three.
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and new PSW Blood Bath Champion, Roger Evans!
Shamoon: What did I tell you? This kid's the real deal.
Dominga: This is bulls***! A fluke! He had no f***ing business in this match. Alf, back me up!
Alf (sighs): Regardless of how I feel about him, he's the champion.
Shamoon: Hell yeah, he is!
Shamoon gets out of his chair and grabs a microphone.
Alf: Where are you going?
Shamoon: He just won a title in his first match. I'm going to interview him.
Evans rolls out of the ring, once the cage is lifted and falls to the sandy ground below. He struggles to his feet as the title is handed to him. He holds his head and grabs the title in shock. He laughs as he clutches the belt in his arms. Shamoon walks over to him excitedly. Roger gets up on shaky legs
Shamoon: Roger, you have just won the Blood Bath Championship in your debut match. How are you feeling?
Evans (shakes head to regain focus): Duuuuuude, I... Wait, are there two o' you right now or..."
Dominga: Just look at this moron.
Evans: Dude, I'm totally trippin right now, but I think I just beat Lulu Asovale, Ethan Stewart and Luisa Fonsi... in a cage and became a champion.
Shamoon (nods): But how are you feeling?
A.B.: Aazrie, the man is bleeding, profusely.
Evans: Dude, I feel totally awesome and you know what? I am awesome.
The crowd starts booing.
Evans: Hey, I gotta be, right? Dude, you don't do what I just did unless you are, right? And since I did, I am, right?
A.B.: I think I'm going to puke.
Dominga: I just did in my mouth.
Shamoon: You know some people (looks over at the commentary table) say that you had no business being here. What do you say to those people now that you're a title holder?
Evans looks at him, then at the commentary table, then the crowd. He wipes the blood from his face and frowns deeply, then he smirks and leaves without another word. The crowd sending jeers his way as he does.
Shamoon: Uh, wish you luck.
A.B.: I thought he'd never leave.
Dominga: I wonder what he was thinking about just then?
Ring Announcer: On the way to the ring, from Ayr, Scotland, ETHAN STEWART!
Dominga: A true certifiable badass, is what he is.
A.B.: He may very well thrive in this environment.
An energetic Samba beat plays.
Dominga: Here's problem number 1.
The stage is lit with a neon purple colour. Fonsi rolls forward into a cross-legged sitting position, the lights change to red, she lifts herself to a knee and backflips, landing in a superhero pose, a strobe effect of green, yellow, white and red is created. She gets up and skips to the ring, the crowd cheering her on.
Ring Announcer: Introducing his opponents, first from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, LUISA FONSI!
Dominga: Someone please explain to me what business this glorified cheerleader has in a match like this. I mean seriously, what chance does she possibly stand?
A.B.: She's obviously the smallest participant in this match-up, but she has a great deal of speed and agility and could definitely take advantage of the cage.
Dominga: The cage is also pretty good for smashing a person's face into pulp, just sayin'
A.B.: It's like you said, she's well-aware of the risks.
Dominga: Which is what makes her being in this match all the more stupid! She doesn't stand a chance and she's risking her career and possibly her life for nothing.
An eerie set of voices is heard leading into a hard rock instrumental. The titantron shows chains swinging from side to side.
Shamoon: Ugh, this woman gives me the creeps. A cage might be the best place for her.
A.B.: Preferably with a straightjacket and a muzzle on.
Asovale walks out slowly and stiffly to a chorus of boos from the crowd, twitching while she walks. Her eyes turn wildly. She occasionally turns her head in random directions as well.
Ring Announcer: Next, representing The Madness,
from Apia, Samoa, LULU ASOVALE!
Dominga: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Shamoon is right. This environment is absolutely perfect for her, there is no escape for her opponents. I hope she starts with Fonsi.
A.B.: That also means that she's locked in there with them.
Dominga: What are you implying?
A.B.: I'm not implying anything. I'm saying that despite her physical gifts and supposed psychosis, she has a nasty habit of cutting out when the fight gets too tough or using her two dogs, Hariwana and Manu, to gang up on people.
Dominga: You're a decorated military vet and a retired policeman. I figured you'd be able to recognize a good strategy when you see one. Genius and madness tend to go hand-in-hand.
A.B. (rolls eyes): Ah yes, that tired cliché. Regardless of how I feel and her usual tactics, Asovale may very well be the most dangerous participant in this match.
An alternative rock beat plays. Out comes Evans with an arrogant swagger that earns him a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Dominga: And here comes problem number 2.
A.B.: I have to agree.
Ring Announcer: Finally, from Long Beach, USA, ROGER EVANS!
Shamoon: I don't understand your problem with him?
Dominga: You both go to the same barber, I wouldn't expect you to.
A.B.: Aazrie he dresses like an idiot, he takes nothing seriously, at his age most people have just started college, and worst of all this is his first officially sanctioned match. He hasn't wrestled a match against a real opponent before and now he's in a title match?
Shamoon: But he was trained by legends Tonye Carrera and Martin Kovac.
Dominga: I've got all the respect in the world those men, but they had their dues like everyone else. This bozo is being handed an opportunity while offering nothing.
Shamoon: I'm telling you guys, this kid's the real deal.
A.B.: I'd take him more seriously if he dropped the California Beach Bum act.
The referee raises the championship over her head, before handing it to a crewman at ringside. The cage lowers to trap the competitors in the ring. Each wrestler takes a corner. Stewart shakes his wrists and head, Asovale slaps herself, Fonsi stretches and Evans just leans against the turnbuckle. The ref signals for the bell to ring. Asovale immediately runs to the opposite corner, attempting to hit Fonsi with a lariat, but the latter rolls out of the way. Fonsi gets up and dropkicks her into the turnbuckle. She turns around into a flying forearm from Evans, who kips up and counters a punch from Stewart with a fireman's carry takedown. Asovale recovers and tries to kick him in the face, but he counters into a dragon screw.
He quickly backs away into his corner as his stunned opponents get back to their feet.
Shamoon: What did I tell you?
Dominga: Yeah, he managed to make himself a target in his match. (Claps sarcastically) Brillante!
As if to emphasize her point, Fonsi charges at him with a dropkick which he ducks under, only to get kneed in the face by Stewart. Stewart then lifts him up and Irish whips him into a vicious clothesline from Asovale, who turns the rookie inside out. Fonsi hits a hurricanrana on Stewart, Asovale grabs the back of Fonsi's head and sends her crashing into the cage wall.
Dominga: Told you.
Asovale turns her attention to Stewart, who kicks her in the gut and throws her into the corner. He then proceeds to unleash a flurry of punches, forcing her down and stomping a mudhole in her. Fonsi comes from behind with a jumping reverse bulldog. She attempts a pin, but Evans breaks it up with a high-angle senton bomb. His pin attempt on Stewart is broken up by Asovale.
A.B.: Asovale recovers and breaks up the pin.
Shamoon: To think, if she was a second too late, Evans would be champion and I'd never let you two live it down.
Dominga: Thank you, sweet virgin.
Asovale rips the turnbuckle pad off, exposing the steel underneath. She grips Evans by the head and headbutts him repeatedly, before slamming his face against the steel turnbuckle over and over until the rookie is busted open. She lifts him up onto her shoulder in a powerslam position and sends him crashing face-first into the cage, in between the top, and middle ropes. Fonsi jumps on her back, clutching her in a sleeper hold, but Asovale backs into a corner, forcing her to let go. She strikes Fonsi with harsh European uppercuts, then throws halfway across the ring. Asovale screams wildly.
Dominga: She just proved three of my earlier points just now. Evans and Fonsi have no business being here and she's the most dangerous person in the match.
A.B.: Once again, I have to agree. The mudhole that was stomped in her chest seems to have dried and now she and Stewart are trading blows.
The aforementioned combats trade blows to a stalemate for a bit, before Stewarts faster fists gain him an advantage. He knees her in the stomach, places her in front facelock, forces her to the exposed turnbuckle, drapes her arm over his head delivers a suplex. The small of her back lands on the exposed steel. She lands on her head. He catches a jumping DDT attempt by Fonsi and throws her off. He picks her off the ground, kicks her in the gut, tucks her head under his left arm while hooking both her arms behind her back. The crowd pops as he does this.
A.B.: Stewart going for the steak knife. He hits it!
Shamoon: But Evans breaks up the pin.
A.B.: And Stewart is going to make him pay for it.
Stewart attempts the Steak Knife on Evans, but the latter counters with a back body drop. Stewart recovers quickly and runs into a superkick.
A.B.: Evans with a superkick, he might win this.
Dominga: But look at Asovale, she's back on her feet.
Shamoon: Watch out, Roger!
A.B.: Asovale charges fool speed...,Evans with a Superkick! He almost took her head off.
Dominga: No! No! No!
Shamoon: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Evans collapses on his back, the ref counts to three.
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and new PSW Blood Bath Champion, Roger Evans!
Shamoon: What did I tell you? This kid's the real deal.
Dominga: This is bulls***! A fluke! He had no f***ing business in this match. Alf, back me up!
Alf (sighs): Regardless of how I feel about him, he's the champion.
Shamoon: Hell yeah, he is!
Shamoon gets out of his chair and grabs a microphone.
Alf: Where are you going?
Shamoon: He just won a title in his first match. I'm going to interview him.
Evans rolls out of the ring, once the cage is lifted and falls to the sandy ground below. He struggles to his feet as the title is handed to him. He holds his head and grabs the title in shock. He laughs as he clutches the belt in his arms. Shamoon walks over to him excitedly. Roger gets up on shaky legs
Shamoon: Roger, you have just won the Blood Bath Championship in your debut match. How are you feeling?
Evans (shakes head to regain focus): Duuuuuude, I... Wait, are there two o' you right now or..."
Dominga: Just look at this moron.
Evans: Dude, I'm totally trippin right now, but I think I just beat Lulu Asovale, Ethan Stewart and Luisa Fonsi... in a cage and became a champion.
Shamoon (nods): But how are you feeling?
A.B.: Aazrie, the man is bleeding, profusely.
Evans: Dude, I feel totally awesome and you know what? I am awesome.
The crowd starts booing.
Evans: Hey, I gotta be, right? Dude, you don't do what I just did unless you are, right? And since I did, I am, right?
A.B.: I think I'm going to puke.
Dominga: I just did in my mouth.
Shamoon: You know some people (looks over at the commentary table) say that you had no business being here. What do you say to those people now that you're a title holder?
Evans looks at him, then at the commentary table, then the crowd. He wipes the blood from his face and frowns deeply, then he smirks and leaves without another word. The crowd sending jeers his way as he does.
Shamoon: Uh, wish you luck.
A.B.: I thought he'd never leave.
Dominga: I wonder what he was thinking about just then?
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