David Bekker: The following Triple Threat contest scheduled for one fall...
Crowd: One fall!
A loud, angelic orchestra is heard as the stage goes black. Spotlights shine down on it, revealing the glowing white form of Dennis Zázrak, who stands with his arms spread and his head held high. The darkness recedes, as does the light, revealing his full, chiselled form.
David Bekker: Introducing the challengers. First, from the Little Carpathian Mountains in Western Slovakia, standing at a PERFECT 190 centimetres and weighing in at a PERFECT 112 Kilos, DENNIS ZÁZRAK!
He lowers his head, looking forward and smouldering. The crowd boos. Dominga gasps with arousal.
A.B.: We are live! Will you get a hold of yours-
Dominga (puts a finger over his lips): Sssh! No talking when a man is present.
Shamoon: But... we're men.
Dominga: No. Not compared to him.
They both just stare at her as Zázrak makes his way to the ring, occasionally stopping to pose and flex.
A.B.: Anyway, this is certainly an interesting situation. We just saw Roger Evans, a former student of Martin Zázrak win the Bloodbath Championship, and now we have Martin Zázrak's own son with an opportunity to win.
Dominga: How DARE you, Balducci? Comparing that BUM to this gift from God?!
A.B.: I wasn't comparing them and what you just said is incredibly blasphemous.
Dominga: I'll be forgiven.
A loud set of trumpets blowing in lockstep with a rapid-fire boom bap beat. The camera lingers on the stage for a bit, but no one comes out.
A.B.: This is Seth's music, but where is he?
Dominga: Forfeit!
Shamoon: Wait, hold on. We saw this at the Super Fight.
David Bekker (looking around): Uh... and the opponent, from... Benguela... Angola...?
The camera jumps to several faces in the crowd, before they find Seth in his basketball-inspired gear, big square glasses and headphones. He's on his phone.
Dominga: Are you serious? Disqualify him!
A fan taps him on the shoulder. He looks up, then at the titantron. He stands up from his chair, stretches and starts walking down the isle.
David Bekker: Standing 193 centimetres and weighing in at 111 Kilos, SETH!
A.B.: I still don't know if his casual nonchalance is strategy or just who he is, but his athletic ability is genuine.
Dominga: Didn't win him the World title, though, did it?
Shamoon: Well, at least he's not fighting for the World title this time.
Dominga: Wow...
Shamoon: Wait, no, I meant he's not in there with guys like Kruscher.
Dominga: No, he's just in there with Perfection and a monster.
Seth tosses his glasses, headphones and his shirt. He then hops the barricade and rolls into the ring. Zázrak looks at him and laughs. Seth doesn't seem to notice or care and walks to his own corner.
A deep, apocalyptic theme is heard overlayed with the sound of crashing waves. The champion, massive and heavily tatted, with a crustacean mask and a long, braided beard lumbers down to the ring.
David Bekker: And finally, from Mumbai, Maharashtra, India, standing 206 centimetres and weighing in at 129 Kilos, he is the Groundbreaker, KRAKEN KHAN!
A.B.: The man who dominated a 30-person battle royale to take Tecton. Now, he finds himself in a position where he can lose the title without being pinned or submitted.
Shamoon: Hey, remember when Zázrak abandoned his tag team partner and then came back to try and win Tecton, and failed? Got thrown out by this
Dominga: Shut up, Shamoon! Zázrak never fails.
A.B.: He failed to win two titles in one night.
Dominga: He chose not to win one title with his dead weight partner and put himself in contention for another one.
Shamoon: What are you talking about? He's only in this match because he's popular with certain women.
Dominga: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Khan steps over the rope, walks over to the hard camera and roars.
Shamoon: A terrifying sight.
The bell rings and Zázrak immediately rolls out of the ring, gesturing for Seth to "have at it" with the champion.
Shamoon: Seriously?
Dominga: Brillante! Even his roll out was perfect.
Seth, unfazed, engages the giant. He uses his speed to stick and move, but Khan eventually catches him.
A.B.: OOH! What a clothesline from the monster. Zázrak's back in, but Khan had him scouted with that huge hand around his throat.
Dominga: No, his perfectly thick neck!
A.B.: Seth with a chop block to the knee of Khan, and now the challengers are working together. Wearing him down.
Shamoon: They're going for a double suplex! We saw the Wallaces try this earlier.
A.B.: Will they succeed? YES! The champ is down. Challengers are up.
Zázrak delivers a vicious, echoing chop to Seth's chest.
Dominga: PERFECT!
Seth fires back with a punch.
Dominga: NO, NOT THE FACE!
The two men continue to trade harder and harder shots, until Khan re-enters the fray and coldcocks both men.
A.B.: The danger of this match. Do not take your eyes off anyone.
Shamoon: ESPECIALLY somebody as big and strong as Kraken Khan and- OH MY!
Dominga: Dios Mio...
A.B.: Khan dragging both men to his feet. Picking both of them up with one arm each. That is a combined 500 pounds... SIDEWALK SLAM! Hooking both legs.
Dominga: Kick out, Dennis!
Both men kick out. Zázrak rolls out of the ring again.
A.B.: Too lackadaisical of cover from the veteran, Khan. Focusing on one would have given him more leverage.
Shamoon: I think it was more about showing off, Alf. He wants everyone to know how easy this is for him.
A.B.: And that's a dangerous mindset to have in a match like this- Wait a minute! Someone's attacking Zázrak on the outside!
Dominga: Who dare do such a thing?
Shamoon: It's Talon! What is he doing here? This is a Fight Pit title match!
A.B.: You said it yourself. This is payback. Though he was left off the card tonight, the "Emperor" is making his presence felt.
Dominga: Get your hands off him, you sore loser!
Talon throws Zázrak over the barricade, leaving Khan and Seth to brawl in the ring. Security Head Brendan Steele and his men come down to the ring and drag Talon out.
Shamoon: That "loser's" going to be on our show tomorrow night. Unfortunately...
A.B.: I would hope not. He may have soured relations between the two GMs. Nalah Shabani is not going to be happy about-
Dominga: WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?! SOMEONE CHECK ON DENNIS! Where the hell Sharma? Get down here and do your job! He might have bruises!
A.B.: I'm sure he'll live.
Shamoon: There's match going one. One that Khan is winning.
Indeed, Khan dominates. Beating down on Seth with wicked clubbing blows and a chokeslam backbreaker combination. He pins Seth with one foot, which Seth kicks out of.
A.B.: Again, this is what I'm talking about. Khan cannot afford to waste time in this match. Talon, in his own egotistical way, gave him an assist in neutralising one of his challengers.
Dominga (tearfully): Don't remind me...
Khan picks Seth off the floor and lifts him for the Mumbai Maelstrom, but Seth hits hits him with elbows to the side of the head, forcing him to let go.
A.B.: Seth fighting back. Got the monster stunned. Khan swinging wildly, but- OH! Seth! Seth has Khan up on his shoulders. GTS! The monster is dazed.
Shamoon: But he's not down! All it did was send him stumbling into the ropes.
Dominga: DENNIS! Zázrak is back up! He's back!
Zázrak quickly slides back in, grabs Seth by his trunks, and flings him out of the ring to the floor.
Khan shakes his head to regain himself, sees him and charges, but Zázrak counters with a small package.
Referee: 1! 2! 3!
A.B.: Zázrak wins!
Shamoon: No!
Dominga (Stands up with her hands clasped and face blushing): Yes!
Dominga (Stands up with her hands clasped and face blushing): Yes!
Shamoon: Seth had that one.
A.B.: So did Khan, but he kept fooling around. I said you can never take your eyes off anyone in this type of match.
Zázrak gets out of the ring, before Khan can grab him. He snatches the Tectonic title and hightails it.
David Bekker: Here is your winner and the new Groundbreaker, Dennis Zázrak!
Dominga (with tears in her eyes): He is genius! He is perfection! He is CHAMPION! And I won't get to see him again!
Shamoon: At least it's not all bad news.
Zázrak stands in the entrance isle, holding up his newly-won gold.
Shamoon: Khan looks pissed.
A.B.: He has no one to blame but himself. He should have acted with more urgency.
Seth gets back in the ring and stands next to Khan, shaking his head with his hands on his hips. Khan becomes aware of his presence.
A.B: What on Earth?! Khan nearly decapitated Seth with that clothesline!
Shamoon: What the hell was that for?
Khan starts reigning down punches on Seth, brutalising him while Zázrak laughs.
A.B.: He clearly blames Seth for this loss. This is pathetic.
Shamoon: He was just trying to win the match. It's not his fault that Zázrak is an opportunistic-
Dominga: Watch your tongue!
Khan picks Seth up and hits the Mumbai Maelstrom to the new champion's continued amusement. The laughter ends when the monster resets his sights on him and exits the ring
Dominga: Wait, no! Security! Steele! Get back here! Do something!
A.B.: Zázrak running to the back like a spooked house cat and Khan giving chase.
Shamoon: If I were him, I'd be in the next 5 time zones by now.
Dominga: If you were him, you'd be a man!
Shamoon: If he's such a man, why's he running away?
A.B.: Can we get some help out here for Seth, please?
Dominga and Aazif continue to argue, with Alf caught in the middle.
A.B.: Maybe cut to an ad break.
~
bLast Feed
@WrestlingHistorian_30: The Small Package win in a No DQ match is the ultimate troll job. It’s a middle finger to every single tough guy. Love him or hate him, Dennis Zázrak is now the most talked-about champion in PSW. #NuclearHeat #ZázrakWins
@PrettyBoyKiller: Did anyone else notice Dominga Alvarez actually crying on commentary when Talon attacked Zázrak? 🤣🤣🤣 That is next-level simping. She needs to get a grip. #SimpingForPerfection #AscensionCommentary
@AlphaOmega_PW: Zázrak is a smart champion. Evans is an arrogant champion. Pandemonium are physical champions. Heladas is a cerebral champion. PSW already has five wildly distinct title reigns after one PPV. The storytelling contrast is chef's kiss. Now, onto the main event. 🙏 #BookedPerfectly
@TheCasualFan: Bruh, what was with the security? They pull Talon out, then Zázrak wins, then Khan goes psycho on Seth, and then when Khan chases Zázrak, the security is nowhere? Steele needs to be fired. The safety standards are non-existent. #UnsafeWorkplace #BadSecurity
- @AazifFanClub:
@TheCasualFan They were probably confused by the No DQ rule. Give Steele a break! (Also, Shamoon was right all night! Respect the Aaz!) 🥇
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