Briar Lane: The following is a six-man tag team match. The first team to score a pinfall or submission will be victorious.
The titantron shows a bright pink background with yellow sparks falling. Maharaj elegantly walks out to the sound of boos. She spreads her arms, and white sparks shoot, bathing her in their light. She turns once to show her figure before walking down the ramp.
Briar Lane: On the way to the ring, from Kolkata, West Bengal, India, standing 5 foot 8 and weighing in at 160 pounds, the "Untouchable" Shay Maharaj!
Shamoon: Didn't seem all that "Untouchable" in the back.
Dominga: Anyone who sings the praises of that frat house reject, Evans, is officially disqualified from having opinions on anything.
A.B.: But he's not wrong. She's been in the business for three years, and she acts like she's already Hall of Fame worthy.
Dominga: With her talent and skill. She sure as hell will be, I guarantee it.
Shamoon: What talent? Her wrestling is garbage. She hit someone with a ring bell and then yelled at the GM for not picking her.
Dominga: Exactly, she has the audacity of a champion and the guts to embarrass the bosses' daughter on live TV!
Shamoon: It was blatant disrespect.
A.B.: How are you two not seeing how hypocritical you're being right now?
Dominga and Shamoon: What do you mean?
A.B. sighs.
Maharaj turns right, climbs the apron and blows a kiss to the crowd before entering the ring.
The arena goes black. A sinister Western song echoes throughout the arena. The arena sits in darkness for 30 seconds before a gunshot is heard, startling some members of the audience.
Shamoon: I hate that. Every single time.
At the same time, a spotlight shines down on Moore. She holds up the smoking revolver, her head hangs, allowing her hat to obscure the part of her face that isn't covered. She lifts her head, her eyes burning holes in everything.
Briar Lane: Introducing her partners, first, from Salt Lake City, Utah, in the United States of America, standing 5 foot 11 and weighing in at 241 pounds, the "Outlaw" Jessie Moore!
A.B.: When I was a boy, I used to love cowboys and the old West. Those memories have long since been tainted.
Dominga: Yeah, that's usually what happens when you grow up and realise that the outlaws and desperados were the best part of all that.
A.B.: You would say that.
Moore runs up the ring steps, gets into the ring, and climbs the opposite turnbuckle. She spreads her arms to bring the rest of the lights back on. Maharaj watches while lying on top of a turnbuckle, cross-legged. She yawns and rolls her eyes, which doesn't escape Moore's notice. Maharaj smiles and waves.
A.B.: Didn't she learn her lesson?
Dominga: Shay was just messing around.
Shamoon: So messing around is okay now?
A.B.: Be that as it may, Moore's sense of humour is of a darker kind. If I were Maharaj, I'd be careful to keep out of the outlaw's sight.
Moore removes her hat and jacket, dropping them outside as the arena darkens once more and a fog builds. A slender figure crawls out of it. Queen Cobra's white hair dangles from her head. She rises to her feet and reveals her face, revealing her serpentine eyes and bright red lips. She makes her way down the ramp in a provocative manner.
Briar Lane: Next, from Blackpool, England, standing 5 foot 11 and weighing in at 132 pounds, Queen Cobra!
A.B.: Last night, the Queen Cobra lost the Jewell's Championship to the Empress in a tense and brutal submission match.
Dominga: Tense, brutal, bizarre. Queen Cobra’s incredible shows of flexibility were off-putting to watch from here. Imagine being in the ring with her.
A.B.: And as we saw earlier tonight, Ngozi is still feeling the effects, especially after the damage she took to her arm.
Shamoon: But what about Cobra? She was nearly folded in half and violently choked out. There have to be some lasting effects, both physical and psychological.
The Queen slides into the ring and crawls to a corner. She rises as she did before; this time, the arena brightens once she's at full height. She turns to face the ramp; unlike at Ascension, she is not smiling.
The titantron goes black, with a strange red aura emanating from the top of the screen and a blue one below. A bright orange rose fades into view. Esposito walks out to a mixed reaction. She looks at the crowd, then down at her own closed fist.
A.B.: I have seen many world-class athletes compete in the squared circle. None of them has a Desi Daru Championship in their backgrounds.
Briar Lane: And their opponents, first, from Nueva Italia, Mexico, standing 6 foot 1 and weighing in at 230 pounds, the Rose of Ferocity, Sarah Esposito!
Esposito punches the stage beneath her feet, triggering pyro that shoots up in a V-Shape in front of her. She stands up straight and begins her march to the ring.
Shamoon: And she didn’t just win it once, but twice in two different divisions.
Dominga: And an impressive physical specimen to boot. Not someone I'd ever want staring me down.
Esposito hops onto the apron, then jumps over the rope. She lands on her feet with a thud, narrowing her eyes at the three women on the other side of the ring.
A blast of pyro and Chen comes out to a pop from the crowd before dashing to the ring.
Briar Lane: And her partners, first, from Singapore, standing 5 foot 5 and weighing in at 130 pounds, Zadie Chen!
A.B.: Disciplined and precise. A combatant whom Maharaj, Moore, and Cobra are going to want to keep out of the ring as much as possible.
Chen hops on a trampoline, bounces off and flips over the rope, landing next to Esposito with a superhero pose. She stands and stares at the opposition, pulling off her long ribbon cape and tossing it out of the ring.
Dominga: You would think these women were part of a generational blood feud.
Golden sparks reign down on the stage and ramp as the Empress makes her way out. The crowd cheers, with some of them bowing in reverence. She gives the people on either side a royal wave with her left hand, her injured right arm hanging low. She begins to walk down the ramp.
Shamoon: Is it just me, or does that arm look worse than earlier?
A.B.: Aaz…
Shamoon: With respect!
Dominga giggles.
A.B.: Hmm. Well, obviously, the Empress has sustained damage from the vicious assault to her right arm at Ascension, but I’ve never known her to let possible injuries dissuade her.
Dominga: But that bandage is like a bullseye, and you know the three women on the other side of the ring will be looking to take advantage of it.
Briar Lane: And, from Port Harcourt, Nigeria, standing 6 feet tall and weighing in at 208 pounds, she is the Bearer of the Jewell, Ngozi - Empress of the Squared Circle!
Dominga: This Briar Lane chick is long-winded as hell, isn't she?
A.B.: It is her job.
Ngozi reaches the ring and climbs the stairs. Once she's on the apron, both Esposito and Chen, while not taking their eyes off the opposing team, sit on the middle rope and push up the top rope.
A.B.: What an incredible show of respect!
Dominga: Are you kidding me?! This is embarrassing. They're supposed to be main eventers. Now they look like flunkies.
Cobra simply glares at Ngozi, Moore folds her arms, and Maharaj shakes her head while rolling her eyes.
Shamoon: Well, I heard they were both big fans and-
Dominga: Then go sit in the crowd. This match is about showing off the top contenders for the title.
She disrobes and removes her visor and the Jewells Championship. A crewman quickly comes to take it all out of the ring. The teams take their corners. Cobra's team takes the corner on the right of the ramp, with Ngozi's team taking the opposite corner. The two teams discuss who starts the match.
A.B.: Ngozi telling her partners that she will be starting.
Shamoon: With respect, is that wise? Her two partners are in much better condition.
A.B.: I would hate to question the Empress' wisdom, but you're right. The young, strong Esposito or the skilled and experienced Chen would be more than enough at the start.
In the heel's corner, Moore and Maharaj step out onto the apron. Queen Cobra stands ready.
Referee Georgia Holiday calls for the bell
Cobra immediately tags Moore in once the bell rings, looks over at Ngozi, smiling.
Moore glares at the Queen for a moment before entering the ring.
Dominga: Haha, great strategy!
A.B.: Strategy works best when you clue your teammates in, but in any case, it'll be The Outlaw Jesse Moore and Empress Ngozi to start this match-up.
Moore and Ngozi stay on the corners, staring deep into each other's souls. There is no movement, save for the ground as the crowd roars in anticipation.
Dominga (looking around): Dios mio...
Shamoon: You cut the tension with a knife.
Moore and Ngozi slowly walk towards
A.B. (solemn): 17 years. 17 years of bitterness, obsession and hatred. I used to stay awake at night, praying that each bout would be the last.
Moore and Ngozi engage in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Moore is obviously the stronger woman, but Ngozi gets her in a side headlock. She uses her left arm to wrap around Moore's head. Moore forces her over to the ropes, then uses them to push Ngozi off her. The Empress catches herself on the ropes on the other side and quickly ducks, pulling down the ropes when Moore charges at her. The intent was for Moore to fall out of the ring, but she stops herself in the nick of time and stomps on Ngozi's injured arm. The Empress cries out.
Dominga: Great ring-awareness from Moore.
Shamoon: And now she's going after that arm.
Moore stomps on the taped elbow viciously. Ngozi tries to roll out of the ring, but Moore grabs the arm, pins it down with her knee and punches the elbow region repeatedly. The ref orders her off. Ngozi exits the ring clutching her elbow, but is attacked by Cobra on the outside while Holiday is distracted by Moore. The Queen grabs Ngozi's arm and kicks it, before returning to her corner when the ref turns around.
A.B.: Sneaky and cunning. I'd expect nothing less.
Moore goes outside and drags Ngozi back into the ring. She drags Ngozi by the injured arm to her team's corner and tags Queen Cobra. While still on the apron, Cobra pulls on Ngozi's arm, drapes her legs over the rope and hangs. Ngozi screams in pain.
A.B.: Cobra applying an armbar using the ropes.
Holiday starts counting. Cobra lets go of the hold and drops down to the floor, catching herself with her hands on the apron, then landing on her feet. Moore kicks Ngozi's arm while the latter still leans against the ropes. The referee reprimands her.
A.B.: That's the issue with these kinds of matches: the more people in the ring, the harder it is to control the match.
Dominga: Controlling the match is the referee's only job. If she can't handle the responsibility that comes with the striped shirt, then she shouldn't have put it on.
A.B.: The wrestlers also have a responsibility to follow the rules of the match.
Dominga: The wrestlers' only responsibility is to win. Everything else is irrelevant.
Ngozi backs away, clutching her arm once more, but Queen Cobra quickly slides into the ring, gets behind and trips her with a leg sweep. Cobra locks Ngozi in a Fujiwara armbar in the centre of the ring. Her partners urge her to fight out of it and tag one of them in, rallying the crowd as they do.
Ngozi slowly drags herself to them. Esposito and Chen hold out their hands, reaching as far as they can. Suddenly, Moore pulls Esposito's feet out from under her, making her hit her face on the apron. Maharaj does the exact same thing to Chen, leaving the Empress with no one to tag.
Dominga: So much for dissension.
Maharaj holds up her hand for a high-five. Moore doesn't even look at her. Maharaj high-fives herself instead.
Shamoon: Did you see that?
Dominga: Yeah, it was funny.
A.B.: Maharaj and Moore doing a great job of ensuring Ngozi's isolation.
Ngozi gets her knees under her, with her free hand, she grabs Cobra's leg, then rolls backwards to get Cobra into a pinning position.
A.B.: Incredible!
Cobra kicks at 1.5, gets to her feet, and roundhouse kicks the kneeling Ngozi. Now it's Cobra's turn to make the cover.
A.B.: Ngozi kicks out! Have to do better than that.
Cobra, pulling the injured arm, drags the Empress back to her corner before locking in another Fujiwara. Maharaj gets on the apron and calls for a tag, but the Queen just stares at her.
Maharaj: What are you doing? Tag me!
Moore gets on the apron and Cobra, while maintaining eye contact with Maharaj, tags the Outlaw in. Maharaj is visibly offended as Moore begins going to work on Ngozi's arm once again.
Shamoon: And there it is. Make an ass of yourself, and you get treated like one.
Dominga: Come on, Cobra! Now's not the time for hurt feelings.
A.B.: It's not about that, Dominga. We all saw her performance at the draft.
Dominga: She won her match.
A.B.: And displayed zero skill against an incredibly green Sara Blood Jr.. Moore and Cobra would be wise to keep her out if they want to win this.
The pattern repeats itself. Moore and Cobra continue to dominate the wounded Empress, tagging in and out and cutting the ring in half, but leaving an increasingly frustrated Maharaj out of the mix. Esposito and Chen, having recovered, are forced to watch helplessly, trying to rally her.
Shamoon: Moore and Cobra are working together excellently.
A.B.: But they haven't been able to keep the Empress down.
Dominga: Something's gotta give.
And it does. Cobra is about to tag out again. Maharaj is bouncing on her feet, practically begging and the Queen gives in.
Dominga: Finally!
A.B.: That was a mistake.
Maharaj starts stomping away at Ngozi, then suddenly stops.
Dominga: Wait, what is she doing?
Maharaj (points at her partners): Watch this!
She then picks the Empress off the floor and attempts a standard bodyslam, only with Ngozi's injured arm held behind her back. Ngozi, the larger woman, shifts her weight, making Maharaj fall backwards into-
A.B.: NGOZI WITH THE REVERSE DDT!
The crowd explodes. Cobra stands agape, while Moore pinches her nose.
Shamoon: Maharaj just cost her team the advantage!
Dominga: What the hell was she thinking?
A.B.: The Empress with that much-needed separation. She has got to make a tag!
Chen and Esposito hold their hands out as the Empress crawls and drags herself. Chen says something to the latter, and she nods. Ngozi drags herself over to the corner, and Esposito hops down, getting some confused boos.
Shamoon: Wait, where's Esposito going?
Ngozi tags in Chen and rolls out of the ring. The Archer gets in and sprints to the opposing corner to dropkick Moore in the knees, knocking the Outlaw off the apron. Cobra, who jumped off on instinct, gets clobbered by Esposito.
Shamoon: Moore and Cobra are down.
Dominga: The speed!
A.B.: And now it's Maharaj who's isolated!
Maharaj charges at Chen, but gets instantly judo-flipped into an-
A.B.: Armbar by Chen! Centre of the ring! Maharaj has nowhere to go.
Shamoon: She's gonna tap! She's gonna-
Moore slides back into the ring and drops a vicious elbow on Chen's face, breaking up the hold.
A.B.: Moore with the save.
Dominga: That was nasty! She might have caved in Chen's skull.
Moore drags Maharaj back to their corner, gets out, tags herself back in and then
proceeds to literally kick Maharaj out of the ring.
The Outlaw then adjusts her right elbow pad and screams at the still dazed Chen to get up.
A.B.: Jessie Moore not wasting any more time. She's setting up for the Bime-by. Her signature rolling elbow strike.
Dominga: If Chen gets up, it's lights out!
Chen does indeed get up, and Moore attempts to strike the back of her head. Chen, as she has eyes in the back of her head, ducks and trips the Outlaw. She then tags in Esposito, who still gets a mixed reaction from the unsure crowd.
A.B.: And here comes the number 1 draft pick!
Moore quickly recovers and takes a swing at the Desi Daru champion. Esposito catches her arm. Moore swings with her other arm and it too gets caught. Esposito then headbutts Moore, spins the both of them around and throws her over her head, halfway across the ring, back to her corner.
Dominga shrieks.
A.B.: Oddio!
Shamoon: How?! How?! She just tossed a 240-pound woman halfway across the ring!
Esposito kicks up and roars. There is no longer a mixed reaction.
She quickly turns around and takes a sugar foot wrestling stance, growling like a feral dog.
Moore blinks several times and shakes her head in disbelief.
A.B.: Moore has been rattled. I have not seen her ragdolled like that in a long time.
Dominga: But she's getting back on her feet. You can't keep the Outlaw down for long.
Moore rubs her mouth, still feeling the effects of the headbutt and becomes enraged. However...
Shamoon: Maharaj just tagged herself back in!
Dominga: What are you doing?
Maharaj gets in the ring and screams at Moore to get out, turning her back on Esposito in the process.
The Outlaw looks at her, then looks at Esposito, who is slowly getting closer, then back at her and shrugs: All yours.
Maharaj: That's right! She's mine. This ring is mine too. Don't ever put your hands on me again, or your ass is gonna be mi-
Esposito grabs Maharaj in a waistlock from behind and pulls her close.
A.B.: What a Release German from Esposito! Maharaj practically SOARING through the air!
Shamoon: That is just scary power!
Dominga: And Moore just let it happen. What kind of partner does that?
A.B.: Esposito with a tag to Chen. Now picking up Maharaj in the gutwrench. We saw her hit this on Talon at the draft. Chen running the ropes... GŌNG NǍO! ODDIO! Esposito powerbombing Maharaj into a running knee by Chen!
The crowd is losing it. Even Moore is stunned.
Dominga: I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!
Shamoon: Just look at the replay. Maharaj’s head didn't even hit the ground before eating that knee.
A.B.: It seems they've been practising since the draft.
Esposito pumps her fists in excitement at having gotten the move right. Chen and Holiday tell her to get out of the ring. She rolls out, and Chen hooks Maharaj's leg.
A.B.: Cover by Chen. It's over. NO! Queen Cobra saving it for her team!
Esposito slides back into the ring, but Cobra axe kicks the back of her head, then shoves her back out with her boot.
A.B.: THE EMPRESS IS BACK!
Cobra tries a thrust kick, Ngozi catches her leg and clotheslines her with her injured arm. Moore seizes the opportunity to attack, but the Empress, clutching her right arm, backs into the ropes and uses the Outlaw's own momentum to send her over them.
A.B.: Ngozi cleaning house! Her house!
She quickly gets on the apron and demands that Chen tag her. The Archer obliges just as Moore starts to recover. Chen notices and starts running the ropes.
A.B.: Suicide dive by Chen! Taking out Moore on the outside.
Ngozi approaches the still seemingly unconscious Maharaj. When she reaches down, the latter attempts… something.
Shamoon: Wh… What is that?
Dominga: It’s a triangle choke, dummy! … I think.
A.B.: I… think it’s a… small package… Maybe- Oh, never mind. Ngozi just shut down… whatever that was, and now…
The crowd gets louder than ever as she locks in her version of the iconic Scorpion Hold, also known as a Sharpshooter, which she calls…
A.B.: DELTA! The Delta is locked in. Maharaj is trapped.
Shamoon: She is screaming! She’s gonna tap. She’s gonna tap!
Maharaj raises her hand, preparing to slap the mat in submission.
Dominga: It’s over- NO! Cobra’s back!
A.B.: Cobra grabbing Maharaj’s hand. Stopping the tap. Grabbing both hands now. She is not going to let Maharaj give up! She is not going to let Maharaj lose this match for her team!
Shamoon: She can still quit verbally though!
Holiday: Maharaj, listen to me! Do you want to quit? Do you want to give up!
Maharaj is still screaming. The pain unbearable.
Cobra: DON’T YOU DARE- AAAAAAAH!
A.B.: Esposito just dragged Cobra out of the ring! Now into the barricade! Maharaj is all alone… and she’s tapping out! With both hands and her mouth, Shay Maharaj is tapping out!
Holiday calls for the bell and the bombastic, royal theme song of Empress Ngozi blasts throughout the arena. The crowd are on their feet.
Briar Lane: Here are your winners: The team of Sarah Esposito, Zadie Chen and the PSW Jewell’s Champion, Empress Ngozi!
Ngozi finally releases the hold and falls to the mat in exhaustion, clutching her elbow. Maharaj is still groaning in pain, holding her back.
A.B.: An incredible six-man tag team match to close the show!
Dominga: Can we go back to that last move by Chen and Esposito? That was insane!
Shamoon: Can we go back to Maharaj being the reason her team lost?
Dominga: Hey, there's no shame in tapping out to an absolute legend like Ngozi! And she hung in the
Shamoon: Just admit it! You were wrong. She wrote a cheque at the draft that she couldn't cash tonight.
A.B.: I have to agree with Aaz on this one. It's clear as day that she was absolutely out of her depth in this match-up. If I’m Nalah Shabani, I’m feeling embarrassed at including her.
Ngozi still clutches her taped elbow, Chen slides into the ring, tries to help her up, but the Empress waves her off and stands. She turns around to see Esposito, holding the Jewell’s Championship. Her Jewell’s Championship. Chen tilts her head quizzically at this exchange.
Shamoon: Oh boy.
The number 1 draft pick hands the belt over to its holder, the Empress, who takes it somewhat suspiciously, then exits the ring without another word. Chen gives the Empress a respectful bow and leaves the ring as well.
A.B.: An interesting exchange between the victors. Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until next week to see where this goes. Good night, everyone. Thank you once again for tuning in to the first episode of the Monday Night Madhouse! Good night, everyone, and happy New Year!
Ngozi holds up the Jewell’s Championship and celebrates with the crowd as golden sparks rain down and the show goes off the air.
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