Shamoon: It's time for the match type that I always dread.
Dominga: What's not to love? You have a 15-foot high cage made of solid steel in which the competitors are trapped inside with little chance of escape and nothing to do, but beat the unholy hell out of each other. It's great!
Shamoon: It's a career-shortening match type, and the risk is rarely worth the reward.
Dominga: It's for a championship, that sounds like a worthy reward.
Shamoon: It depends on whether the competitors are still in shape to lift the title above their heads.
Dominga: They knew the risks when they signed up for this sport and this match. If they can't handle it, they don't belong here.
A.B.: On that point, I think you can agree, Aazif.
Shamoon: I guess.
Dominga: My problem is with two of the competitors involved.
David Bekker: The following Fatal-Fourway Match will take place inside a steel cage, and it is for the PSW Bloodbath Championship! The first wrestler to gain a pinfall or submission will be victorious. Escaping the cage will result in a forfeit and elimination.
A heavy metal song is heard throughout the arena. Stewart marches down the ramp, shaking his wrists and popping his neck as he does so. The crowd cheers on his way down, but he ignores them.
David Bekker: On the way to the ring, from Ayr, Scotland, standing 190 centimetres and weighing in at 108 Kilos, ETHAN STEWART!
Dominga: A true certifiable badass, is what he is.
A.B.: He may very well thrive in this environment.
An energetic Samba beat plays.
Dominga: Here's problem number 1.
The stage is lit with a neon purple colour. Fons rolls forward into a cross-legged sitting position, the lights change to red, she lifts herself to a knee and backflips, landing in a superhero pose, a strobe effect of green, yellow, white and red is created. She gets up and skips to the ring with a spaced out look on her face, holding out her arms and waving them like a tube man. The crowd cheers her on.
Ring Announcer: Introducing his opponents, first from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, standing 168 centimetres and weighing in at 59 Kilos, LUISA FESTA!
Dominga: Someone, please, explain to me what business this glorified cheerleader has in a match like this. I mean, seriously, what chance does she possibly stand?
A.B.: She's obviously the smallest participant in this match-up, but she has a great deal of speed and agility and could definitely take advantage of the cage.
Dominga: The cage is also pretty good for smashing a person's face into pulp, just saying.
A.B.: It's like you said, she's well-aware of the risks.
Dominga: Is she? Does she even know where she is?
A.B.: You know she's been tested. Nothing's been found. This is just who she is.
Dominga: Nothing's been found yet.
A growling female voice is heard yelling “Faavalevale!” followed by a deep male voice yelling “Porangi!” then an even deeper male voice “Vale!” All three then together scream, "MADNESS!" before a deep bass guitar and tribal drums are heard. The titantron shows chains swinging from side to side.
Shamoon: Ugh, this woman gives me the creeps. A cage might be the best place for her.
A.B.: Preferably with a straightjacket and a muzzle on.
Asovale walks out to a chorus of boos from the crowd, twitching while she walks. Her eyes turn wildly. She occasionally turns her head in random directions as well, following the drum beats.
David Bekker: Next, representing The Madness, from Adelaide, South Australia, standing 178 centimetres and weighing in at 109 Kilos, the Samoan Sicko, LULU ASOVALE!
Dominga: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Shamoon is right. This environment is absolutely perfect for her, there is no escape for her opponents. I hope she starts with Fonsi.
A.B.: That also means that she's locked in there with them.
Dominga: What are you implying?
A.B.: I'm not implying anything. I'm saying that despite her physical gifts and supposed psychosis, she has a nasty habit of cutting out when the fight gets too tough or using her two "brothers", Henare and Manu, to gang up on people.
Dominga: You're vet in this business. You should be able to recognise a good strategy when you see one. Genius and madness tend to go hand-in-hand.
A.B. (rolls eyes): Ah, yes, that tired cliché. Regardless of how I feel and her usual tactics, Asovale may very well be the most dangerous participant in this match.
An alternative rock beat plays. Out comes Evans with an arrogant swagger that earns him a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Dominga: And here comes problem number 2.
A.B.: I have to agree.
David Bekker: Finally, from Long Beach, California in the United States of America, standing 188 centimetres and weighing in at 93 Kilos, ROGER EVANS!
Shamoon: I don't understand your problem with him?
Dominga: You both go to the same barber. I wouldn't expect you to.
A.B.: Aaz, he dresses like an idiot, he takes nothing seriously and worst of all this is his first officially sanctioned match. He hasn't wrestled a match against a real opponent before, and now he's in a title match? An entire roster was drafted and he just waltzed on zero merit.
Shamoon: But he was trained by legends Tonye Carrera and Martin Zázrak> ?
Dominga: I've got all the respect in the world those men, but they had their dues like everyone else. This bozo is being handed an opportunity while offering nothing.
Shamoon: I'm telling you guys, this kid's the real deal.
A.B.: I'd take him more seriously if he dropped the California Beach Bum act.
The referee raises the championship over her head, before handing it to a crewman at ringside. The cage lowers to trap the competitors in the ring. Each wrestler takes a corner. Stewart shakes his wrists and head, Asovale slaps herself, Fonsi stretches and Evans just leans against the turnbuckle.
The ref signals for the bell to ring. Asovale immediately runs to the opposite corner, attempting to hit Festa with a lariat, but the latter rolls out of the way.
Festa then gets up and dropkicks her into the turnbuckle. She turns around into a flying forearm from Evans, who kips up and counters a punch from Stewart with a fireman's carry takedown. Asovale recovers and tries to kick him in the face, but he counters into a dragon screw.
He quickly gets up and starts taunting, turning his back on his 3 opponents with his arms out.
Shamoon: What did I tell you?
Dominga: Yeah, he managed to make himself a target in his match. (Claps sarcastically) Brillante!
As if to emphasise her point, Festa jumps onto Evans' shoulders and performs a poisonrana, driving his head into the mat. Stewart then lifts him up and Irish Whips him into a vicious clothesline from Asovale, who turns the rookie inside out.
Festa then hits a hurricanrana on Stewart. Asovale grabs the back of Festa's head and sends her crashing into the cage wall.
Dominga: Told you.
Asovale turns her attention to Stewart, who kicks her in the gut and throws her into the corner. He then proceeds to unleash a flurry of punches, forcing her down and stomping a mudhole in her. Festa comes from behind with a jumping reverse bulldog. She attempts a pin, but Evans breaks it up with a high-angle senton bomb. His own pin attempt on Stewart is broken up by Asovale.
A.B.: Asovale recovers and breaks up the pin.
Shamoon: To think, if she was a second too late, Evans would be champion and I'd never let you two live it down.
Dominga (praying): Gracias, Santa María.
Asovale rips the turnbuckle pad off, exposing the steel underneath. She grips Evans by the head and headbutts him repeatedly, before slamming his face against the steel turnbuckle over and over until the rookie is busted open.
She lifts him up onto her shoulder in a powerslam position and lawndarts him face-first into the cage, in between the top and middle ropes. Fenst jumps on her back, clutching her in a sleeper hold, but Asovale backs into a corner, forcing her to let go. She strikes Festa with harsh European uppercuts, then throws her halfway across the ring. before screaming wildly.
Dominga: She just proved three of my earlier points just now. Evans and Fonsi have no business being here, and she's the most dangerous person in the match.
A.B.: Once again, I have to agree. The mudhole that was stomped in her chest seems to have dried and now she and Stewart are trading blows.
The aforementioned combatants trade blows to a stalemate for a bit, before Stewart's faster fists gain him an advantage. He lands a series of stiff shots, but Lulu just smiles, bleeding from the mouth, before tackling him with the force of a rhino, sending him crashing back-first into the same exposed turnbuckle.
Festa comes back and attempts a springboard DDT, but Asovale simply powers out, flinging her into the cage wall and crushing her with a body splash against the cage.
A.B.: Asovale in control, got Festa by the hair. Holding up the thumb. Samoan Spike to the throat! It's over.
Shamoon: Stewart and Evans are back on their feet.
Dominga: ¡Dios Mio!
A.B.: Superkick from Evans! Jumping Knee from Stewart! They might have crushed Asovale's skull! A necessary alliance- And Stewart with a kick to the gut. He's got the arms hooked. Steak Knife DDT- NO! A low blow! A low blow from the rookie to Ethan Stewart.
Dominga: No! Walk it off, Stewart. WALK IT OFF!
Shamoon: That is not how it works!
A.B.: Evans with a Superkick! He almost took head off.
Dominga: No! No! No!
Shamoon: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Evans collapses on top of Stewart, the ref counts to three.
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and first-ever Crimson King, Roger Evans!
Shamoon: What did I tell you? This kid's the real deal.
Dominga: This is bulls***! A fluke! He had no f***ing business in this match. Alf, back me up!
Alf (sighs): Regardless of how I feel about him, he's the champion.
Shamoon: Hell yeah, he is!
Shamoon gets out of his chair and grabs a microphone.
Alf: Where are you going?
Shamoon: He just won a title in his first match. I'm going to interview him.
Evans rolls out of the ring, once the cage is lifted and falls to the sandy ground below. He struggles to his feet as the title is handed to him. He holds his head and grabs the title in shock. He laughs as he clutches the belt in his arms. Shamoon walks over to him excitedly. Roger gets up on shaky legs
Shamoon: Roger, you have just won the Bloodbath Championship in your debut match. How are you feeling, man?
Evans (shakes head to regain focus): Duuuuuude, I... Wait, are there two o' you right now or...
Dominga: Just look at this moron.
Evans: Dude, I'm totally trippin right now, but I think I just beat Lulu Asovale, Ethan Stewart and Luisa Festa... in a cage and became a champion.
Shamoon (nods): But how are you feeling?
A.B.: Aazif, the man is bleeding. From the head, I might add.
Evans: Dude, I feel totally awesome and you know what? I am awesome.
The crowd starts booing.
Evans: Hey, I gotta be, right? Dude, you don't do what I just did unless you are, right? And since I did, I am, right?
A.B.: I think I'm going to puke.
Dominga: I just did in my mouth.
Shamoon: You know some people (looks over at the commentary table) say that you had no business being here. What do you say to those people now that you're a title holder?
Evans looks at him, then at the commentary table, then at the crowd. He wipes the blood from his face and frowns deeply, then he smirks and leaves without another word. The crowd sends jeers his way as he does.
Shamoon: Uh, wish you luck.
A.B.: I thought he'd never leave.
Dominga: I wonder what he was thinking about just then?
~
bLast Feed
@Gore_Galore
YOOOOOOO HE PULLED A LOW BLOW ON STEWART AND WON. IN HIS DEBUT. IN A CAGE MATCH. #CRIMSONKING IS LITERALLY THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL TITLE IN HISTORY. #Bloodbath
- @FestaFanatic
@Gore_Galore It was smart! Stewart had the advantage! It was dirty, but it was No DQ. You do what you have to do to survive that cage. You gotta respect the clutch move, even if it was savage. 🇧🇷🔪
- @AussieMadness
@Gore_Galore Nah, nah, nah. Lulu Asovale and Ethan Stewart were carrying that match. The kid is garbage. #JusticeForStewart
@PSW_Analyst
Roger Evans won by being the most opportunistic, self-serving bastard in the cage. They absolutely nailed the debut of this belt.
@Madhouse_Or_Bust
Watching a rookie with zero matches just get handed a title opportunity, bleed for 5 minutes, cheat, and win is actually disrespectful to the entire roster. They drafted Ethan Stewart in R2! Lulu Asovale is a monster! The kid is a joke. #FlukeWin
- @DomingasBurner
@Madhouse_Or_Bust @TheOfficial_AB and @TheDomingaDiva were RIGHT. The dude is a bozo. He's still trippin' on the sandy floor. He can't even stand up straight. He didn't win; he fell over and got lucky. F**K EVANS.
@BonBon23
I cannot believe he survived Lulu Asovale smashing his face into the cage. He was bloody and smiling. That amount of guts, even with the low blow, makes him an instant draw. You can't deny that promo where he was shaking and yelling, "I am awesome." #CrimsonKing is a heat 🔥
- @CareerKiller
@BonBon23 That wasn't guts, that was a concussion. He didn't know where he was. He won by accident and now he's the target. Stewart is going to take that pretty little face and grind it into the concrete on the #MondayNightMadhouse
@FestaFanatic
Luisa Festa was the MVP! She was thrown into a cage with two giants and a cheat, hit the most impressive moves, and survived the Samoan Spike. She needs to drop the hippie act and go after that title again. #LuisaFesta deserved better.
@SaraWilliamsPSW ☑️
The #BloodbathChampionship 🩸 is now officially launched. The champion is crowned. The next generation of stars will be defined by their ability to win by any means necessary
Congrats, @RogerEvansPSW. The work begins now.
- @Shamoon_Official ☑️
@SaraWilliamsPSW I told them he was the real deal! #CRIMSONKING #HELLYEAH
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