Psycho Extras - Movie Magic

In the heart of Sambuca City, in the Vodka region of the Volmun Isles, Paul Grizzly, the Holder of Dominion, steps out of Constantine Medical, still holding the phone. Except... this is not Constantine Medical, nor is he in Sambuca City. It is the neighbouring Sambuca Town, and the building he just stepped out of is an incomplete model of the real thing. 

PSW Fight Pit 4 - Contingency

An O.R.D.R.L.I. feed appears on the two big screens, showing Vito Montani, Jeffrey Campbell and Palesa Jeyi. The former is pacing.

Campbell: Vito, calm down, mate. 

Montani (grabs Campbell's shirt): CALM DOWN?!

Campbell: Grizzly's not a bloody idiot; he's just chancing his arm. He's bluffing!

Cyrus Reed returns to gorilla with a phone in hand. Grizzly lets go of Campbell and snatches it. 

Montani (dialling and putting the phone on speaker): Tony! Tony, I need ya to get Cody and his mom-

Grizzly (voice): Tony can't come to the phone right now.

Montani: YOU! You son of a bitch, I'll kill ya if ya-

Grizzly: Simmer down there, buddy! You don't get to make threats.

Campbell: Grizzly! Grizzly, mate, ya gotta have a think about thi-

Grizzly: I've thought plenty, Campbell, you sneaky little rat bastard. You think I didn't catch wind of this little stunt you were gonna pull? 

Montani: What do ya want?

Grizzly: I want what everybody wants. I want this "Open Season" crap to stop, but more importantly, I want you off my back. So, here's what's gonna happen. You want me in Fiji next week, eh? For your little Ambulance Match? You've got it. I'll be there, but WHEN I stuff your oiled-up carcass into the back of the boo-boo bus, when all your broken bones are fused back together, you will NEVER challenge me for Dominion ever again!

Montani grits his teeth and grips the phone tightly.

Jeyi: That's completely ridiculous!

Campbell: Vito, you don't have to-

Montani: You got a deal.

Campbell, Jeyi & SDS: WHAT?!

Montani (closes his eyes): Just... leave 'em alone, already.

Grizzly: Pleasure doin' business with ya. See ya 'round.

The call ends. Montani growls and crushes the phone.

Campbell: You didn't have ta do that, mate! He had no puff 'round here. We coulda just given the coppers a bell.

Montani (letting the pieces fall): What's done is done.

DS: What an idiot.

Reed: HA! F***in' idiot.

Without even looking, Montani's fist jabs the giant guard in the nose, breaking it. Campbell, Jeyi and the guards don't even register until it's too late.

Reed (stumbling around while holding his face): AAAAARRGGRH!!!! MY NOSE! HE BROKE MY NOSE!

Montani walks into the hallway. No one follows him. The feed ends and the Friday Night Pit comes to a close.

SDS: We'll see you all next week, in Suva, Fiji...

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Cornered

David Bekker: Ladies and gentlemen, representing the Streetwise Krew, please welcome... VITO MOOOONTANIII!!!

The Newark native, shirtless and shredded, strolls down the ramp.

SDS: What's that in his hands?

DS: Hopefully, a written apology, a letter of resignation AND a statement of guilt.

Montani enters the ring and gestures for Bekker to hand over his microphone. The announcer obeys and scrambles out of the ring as quickly as his pudgy form allows.

Montani: MANILA! 

The crowd pops and the name drop.

Montani: How ya doin'? 

They pop again.

Montani: Hell of a show, right? Man, we've seen a lot of crazy sh** tonight. We saw a lot of champions. Thunderweight Champion, Tectonic Champion, Tag Team Champions, but we didn't see THE Champion, did we?

The crowd boos quietly.

Montani: We'll get to that in a second, but you know? Nobody tld me tonight was gonna be a not safe for work night. 

The crowd murmurs in confusion.

SDS: What's he talking about?

Montani: We saw a guy gettin' a nasty facial, some Brazilian broad gettin' double-teamed, some dude tryna win the boss's daughter's hand in marriage, a man gettin' his toes sucked by another man, a guy gettin' his back blown out in the back of a car, some European guy gettin' double-teamed, and den a long, sweaty, all-male foursome while an old lady watches in da corner.

The crowd is mix of laughter, shocked gasps and cheers. Montani laughs too.

SDS: What?!

DS: Disgusting... I wish I came up with that.

Montani (pacing around): What happened to good, clean, family entertainment, huh? Every week, I gotta call my ma and tell her, (smiles goes away) 'Don't watch. Ya ain't gonna like what ya see.' 

His smile returns, but doesn't reach his eyes.

Montani: I mean, joost imagine da heart attack she'd 'ave got two weeks ago - an' she's 68 years old, my ma - joost imagine da heart attack she got if she saw me wreck a guy's ride an' den shoot dat guy wit a tranquilizer dart on live TV like da animal he is.

DS: Nobody forced you to do that, o imbecil!

Montani (smile fades slightly, brows furrows, eyelids droop): Now, I want youse to imagine, a couple weeks before dat, at Ascension, da pain she was goin' t'rough, as dat same guy, dat 440-pound freak, wit' his foot on my chest, makin' me watch as he squeezed da life outta Cody K. Olwagen, my tag team partner, my best friend, my brot'er, who weighs in about a buck-seventy on a good day.

SDS: And that's what it's always been about.

DS: Olwagen had it coming!

Montani (smiles disappears): Alright, forget about Mrs. Montani for a sec, and picture Mrs. Olwagen, 62 years old, who hadda be flown from South Africa all the way to da Isles a' Volmun so she could be with her son in the hospital! (face twitching) Now, picture ME standin' dere, like a friggin' jerk, havin' ta explain to dis sweet ol' lady why her baby boy was lyin' dere wit an oxygen mask on his face... (veins popping) AND WHY THE FU** I LET IT HAPPEN!

His rages sets the crowd into a frenzy.

Montani (takes a deep breath): Befo' I keep goin', lemme put all them rumors to bed (glances at Santos in commentary). Paul Grizzly ain't here.

The crowd loudly boos at this revelation.

SDS: Not surprising. 

DS: Why was he looking at me? I never said he was here.

SDS: Yes, you did.

DS: No, I said my sources said he was here. 

Montani: He ain't here. He ain't in the building. He ain't in Manila. He ain't even in the Philippines. How do I know? (shrugs) I got connections.

DS: Of course he does. 

Montani: But dat's awright. I don't need him here tonight, but I do hope, he's listenin'. (holds up document) See, what I got right here is an executive order from da CEO, da OG, Bredda G himself, Mr Sanka Williams, made at da request of da General Manager Jeffery Campbell (gestures at da stage) and to summa-rize what it says, (reads document) next week, in Suva, Fiji, da End of Jan Special, two weeks before da Valentine's Brawl pay-per-view in Dunedin, New Zealand, Paul Grizzly... (bores into the camera) YER ASS IS MIIIIINE!!!

The crowd pops

DS: WHAT?!

SDS: An executive order for one-on-one match?

Montani (pacing): But hold up, dere's more, cuz dis ain't gonna be no regular singles match. Nah, nah, nah. Dat World Dominion Championship is gonna be on da line...

The crowd pops yet again.

Montani: ... in an AMBULANCE MATCH!

The roof of the Mall strains against the crowd's roar. 

SDS: AN AMBULANCE MATCH?!

DS: HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS?!

Montani: An' if you don't like it, if you decide not to show, or if you do show an' den try to walk out on me like you did in Episode 1, Dominion gets handed to me right den an' dere!

SDS: THE CHAMPION HAS BEEN CORNERED!

DS: NOOOOO, HE CAN'T DO THAT! THEY CAN'T DO THIS! YOU CAN'T GIVE THIS CRIMINAL THE WORLD TITLE!

Montani (looks into the camera): Grizzly, you got two choices: Be a friggin' pu**y and hand over dat nice shinin' belt ya love so much, or grow some balls and finish what ya started?

DS: This is extortion! Get the cops back in here!

Montani (walks away from the camera, addressing the crowd): An' if he decides ta show up in Fiji, here's exactly what's gonna happen. When I shut dem doors, Open Season's done. You're gonna see me, standin' here, in da middle of dis ring, wit' a nice new fur coat ova my shoulders an' da World Dominion Championship 'round my waist, wit' sirens blarin' while an ambulance carries away 400 pounds of DEAD MEAT!

He slams the microphone down and holds up his fist as the crowd chants "VITO! VITO! VITO! VITO!". The intense hip hop track returns.

DS: No! Stop chanting! Stop cheering for this terrorist!

SDS: I cannot believe we're finally going to get this match! And what a match it's going to be. An Ambulance match for the World Dom-

Grizzly (voice): Vito...

The music stops. Montani looks around. 

Grizzly (voice): Vito... Vito, up here. 

The big screens show Grizzly in a hooded jacket and pants standing in front of a brick wall.

Grizzly: Vito, kid, seriously. You're out there talking like I killed the little bastard. When in actuality, I hear he's doing pretty well. In fact, I was just about to go visit him.

The camera then zooms out. Montani's eyes widen in horror.

SDS: That's... That's Constantine Medical. It's a private hospital in Sambuca!

DS: ... Sh**.

Grizzly: See, Vito, I also know people. Like this cameraman here. 

The shaggy-haired giant beckons the cameraman to follow as he steps into the entrance of the hospital. The feed ends. 

Montani rolls out of the ring and sprints up the ramp.

SDS: O moj Bože. Grizzly's going into the hospital! He's going into the hospital where Cody K. Olwagen is in recovery! 

DS: This is Campbell's fault. THIS IS ALL CAMPBELL'S FAULT!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Cop

The Wallace's theme continues blasting through the speaker as they step through the curtain into gorilla. They are greeted by the loud, one-man applause of the General Manager, Jeffery Campbell. A PA shows up with water bottles and towels.

Campbell (holds up hands): Gents... thank you! From the bloody bottom of me heart, thanks a heap! After all the flamin' crap I've put up with tonight, it was a ripper to have some good, clean WRESTLIN'!

Axel (wiping his face): Well, about as clean as you could get with the witch lady and her golems around.

Campbell (hands on hips): Yeah, well, you pushed through. Good on ya, both, and good luck. You're gonna need it.  (throws thumb over shoulder) Get back to the hotel. We're off to Fiji in the mornin'.

Axel nods and walks past.

Oscar (swallows water and follows): Night, boss.

Campbell: You too. Nice reflex out there. Keep it up, and you might have a chance... Maybe.

Oscar nods and continues on.

Producer Palesa Jeyi pulls off her headphones and looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

Jeyi: You really think they have a chance?

Campbell (shrugs): 3 seconds is all it takes. 

Jeyi: That's a long time.

Campbell (shrugs again and checks his watch): Alright, still got a tick o' clock, so let's plaster some banter in the dead air. Give old Cyrus a nudge and tell him to shuffle the inmate along.

Jeyi (headphones back on): Tsotsi's already moving.

Campbell: Great.

Jeyi (picks up a printed document with PSW logo on it): Don't forget this.

Campbell takes the piece of paper. Minutes pass before the towering gangster, Vito Montani, is led in by the even bigger Deputy Security Chief Cyrus Reed and three other guards. Montani's hands are zip-tied behind his back, yet he wears a smirk.

Campbell: Cut him loose, lads.

Reed tilts his head, and one of the guards pulls out a pair of flush cutters to snip the ties. 

Montani (opening and closing his fists): Ya got da stuff, boss?

Campbell (waves the document): It's all there, plain as day; stamped and dated by the big man himself. (hands it over) The ring's all yours, mate.

Montani (reads the document with raised brows and drooped eyelids): All mine, huh?

Campbell: All yours. (frowns and points) Just leave it the way ya found it.

Montani (smiles): Relax, Jeff. I'm just gonna say what I gotta say, and den I'll bounce.

Campbell (hands on hips): Hmmm. Palesa, hit his music.

Jeyi holds up her thumb as an intense hip hop track plays over the speakers. The Manila crowd outside pops.

SDS (voice): That's Vito Montani music.

DS (voice): That palhaço better be in chains! They better flog him and hang him! They better give him the needle! 

SDS (voice): Tell us how you really feel.

DS (voice): FIRING SQUAD!

Montani laughs and steps through the curtain.

Campbell watches him leave, and then he smirks

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - The Battalion Bros vs Team Wallace

SDS: From Tecton to Tag Teams, here's David Bekker!

David Bekker: The following is a No. 1 contender's Tag Team Match, and it is scheduled for one fall! The winner of the match will challenge for the titles in next week's End of January Special!

The crowd pops.

Pyro shoots up from the stage, screeching loudly before falling back down and exploding, followed by a grungy rock track playing. Two men draped in camo walk out. A well-built Caucasian with a bandana and a ginger beard, and a shorter, leaner, brown-skinned luchador with a camo mask and blonde mohawk.

They walk down together, slapping hands with fans on either side.

David Bekker: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 196 kilos, Major Mallory, El Soldado, the Battalion Bros!

DS: This is ridiculous, Darryl! These two fools got beat by Tom and Dick on episode 1! Why do they get a title shot?

SDS: Well, as it turns out, this was meant to be a Triple Threat Tag Team Match. However, Tom, Dick & Harry got destroyed when they went looking for a fight with the Madness on Monday, so they were taken out.

DS: That's not fair!

SDS: Maybe they should have gotten their priorities straight. Besides, Mallory and Soldado got the bounce-back win last week against the Wild Thornes. They've earned this opportunity.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Seth and Kraken Khan vs Dennis Zázrak (c)

SDS: Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just joining us, Johnny Cyclone was just viciously attacked in the parking bay by Kruscher, who powerslammed Cyclone through the sunroof of a parked car.

DS: It was sick!

SDS: Cyclone has been loaded into an ambulance and taken to a local hospital. We are currently awaiting an update on his condition.

DS: Hopefully some sense was knocked into him.

SDS: I'm about to knock some into you.

David Bekker: The following contest is a Handicap Match scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Psycho Style Wrestling Tectonic Championship!

The crowd pops.

DS: I forgot about this paródia grotesca!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - The Honey Badger vs Kala Kahuna II

A virtuosic guitar accompanied by heavy rock riffs plays to a pop. The two big screens show a honey badger going about its day: burrowing, climbing, looking cute, biting the balls of lions. The man himself briskly walks out, looking small and rabid.

David Bekker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, from Hoedspruit, Limpopo, South Africa, standing 168 centimetres and weighing in at 104 kilos, THEEEEEEE HONEY BADGEERRRRRR!

SDS: The last time we saw this man, he was sent flying like a boomerang by the World Dominion Champion, Paul Grizzly.

DS: Yeah, after he got pinned by Kahuna in the tag team match and then went crazy, squeezing his balls.

SDS: "Went" crazy?

DS: ... I see your point.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Crash Course

The cameraman follows Katrina Petrov into the arena's parking bay. There she finds the towering form of Johnny Cyclone, clad in his aqua-green singlet, pacing with his white-gloved hands on his hips, seemingly talking to the air.

Petrov: Johnny...? Do you perhaps have a moment?

The young African-American looks up at the ceiling, "One second, Lord," and turns to the interviewer.

Cyclone: How's it going, Katrina?

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Mudir vs Mystery Opponent

A modern remix of Cello Suite No.1 in G major, BWV 1007 by Johann Sebastian Bach is heard on the speakers. The crowd is utterly confused as the Yemeni man walks out in his boxing-style robe, no glasses or book to be found in his hands. Only a microphone. 

DS: Here he comes. The Plan himself!

SDS: I am not calling him that. 

Mudir: Good evening, Manila!

The crowd pops.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Male-Dominated Spaces

Another O.R.D.R.L.I. feed begins to load on the two big screens. Before the video even starts, sounds are heard. The sounds of screams and grunts, of fists and feet.

SDS: Now, what's happening?

DS (listening and frowning): Wait, doesn't that sound like-?

And then the feed appears. The crowd screams in shock.

SDS: Its- It's Raquel Santana! 

DS: What?

SDS: Raquel Santana is assaulting Kevin Kambole!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Rami Arslan vs Raquel Santana

An intense, echoing snare drum roll, followed by a dark, tribal-sounding beat, is heard throughout the arena.

SDS: Here comes something of a grudge match in its own right.

DS: Huh?

SDS: Don't you remember?

Out walks a lean Lebanese man with a buzz cut, trimmed beard and black trunks with foot wraps instead of boots.

David Bekker: The following contest is a No Holds Barred match-up scheduled for one fall! Introducing first from Beirut, Lebanon, standing 180 centimetres and weighing in at 100 Kilos, RAMI AAARSLAAAN!!

DS: Remind me again, why we're having a No-Holds Barred match. Who did this guy piss off?

SDS: You seriously don't recall what happened during the Triple Threat Thunderweight Match last week?

DS: Cara, put on a replay! "You seriously don't recall-" There were like 50 matches last week!

SDS: Sorry, I guess asking a commentator to remember matches was too big of a task. Alright then, let's have a look.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Booking Ain't Easy

SDS: While the search for He Who Wields Thunder continues and we await an update on the Danys Vités' condition, we're going to give you all a rundown of some of the exciting match-ups you can expect.

DS: Beleza!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - O For Two

An O.R.D.R.L.I feed captures the gorilla position following Heladas' attack and escape.

GM Jeffrey Campbell: He disappeared?!

Producer Palesa Jeyi: They've got flashlights and cameras under the ring. Take a look; he's gone.

Campbell (leaning over her shoulder): Bloody, black magic bastard. I swear on me life, Shabani's gonna-

His phone rings. He pulls it out and laughs.

Campbell: Speak of the Devil, eh? (*beep*)

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - Marcelo Sousa vs Danys Vités

A drone camera flies in around the cavernous bowl, above the 5-tier grandstand filled with blue seats and 15,000 screaming fans. At the centre of all this is a ring. A Fight Pit ring. 

SDS: We are LIVE from the Mall in Manila! 

The feed switches to a cameraman standing in front of the commentary desk.

SDS: Welcome, everyone, to the Psycho Style Wrestling Friday Night Fight Pit. I'm "Striking" Darryl Stroligo, here with the Carnival King, Diogo Santos!

DS: I love this place, Darryl! The minas they got are second only to what we got in Brazil.

SDS: You're going to have to take off that helmet at some point, and I will be ready.

Santos gulps and grips the helmet as Stroligo stares him down.

SDS (looks into the camera): The Valentine's Brawl in Dunedin, New Zealand is set for 3 weeks from tomorrow, and PSW's Pacific Island tour continues. Next week, we're sailing to Suva, Fiji. But enough about the future, we hav to talk about the immediate past, don't we?

DS: Yeah, last week, Paul Grizzly, the champ, the man, putting the whole roster on notice, destroying EVERYBODY in sight.

SDS: It was utter carnage. Johnny Cyclone, Kruscher, the Honey Badger, Kala Kahuna, even GM Jeffery Campbell, all casualties of the Holder of Dominion's rampage. 

DS: IT WAS ALL MONTANI'S FAULT! And Campbell's too. What the hell is he thinking, keeping him as the No. 1 contender and bringing him here?

SDS: Don't forget, Montani's tag team partner, Cody K. Olwagen, was hospitalised by Grizzly at Ascension. That's the entire reason for this. Grizzly started this war.

DS: Yeah, well, he's going to end it! I have it on good authority that he's here tonight.

SDS: Ah, so he's not here.

DS: I just told you a reliable source told me he's definitely here.

SDS: But you're full of it, so I know he's not in the building and won't be at all..

DS: Whatever, we'll see.

SDS: That we will. Now, let's move away from the heavyweights and make way for some THUNDERWEIGHTS!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 4 - A Killa In Manila

- 24 January 2031

A black SUV pulls up outside a striking, eye-shaped glass facade and a massive exterior LED screen that lights up a waterfront. This SUV is followed by 3 MPD cruisers. Several PSW security guards, led by the new gargantuan Deputy-Security Chief Cyrus Reed, march outside to meet him. 

SDS: What's this about?

DS: It must be Miss Manila. I hear she's smoking! Hope she joins us...

SDS (tries to smack him, only to hit something hard): OW! What?

DS (Pulls off hat and wig to reveal a helmet): HA! I was ready for you!

One of the back doors of the pops opens and out walks the tall, tanned and shredded gangster known as...

SDS: It's Vito Montani!

DS: Aarrrrgghh!!