David Bekker: The following is a No. 1 contender's Tag Team Match, and it is scheduled for one fall! The winner of the match will challenge for the titles in next week's End of January Special!
The crowd pops.
Pyro shoots up from the stage, screeching loudly before falling back down and exploding, followed by a grungy rock track playing. Two men draped in camo walk out. A well-built Caucasian with a bandana and a ginger beard, and a shorter, leaner, brown-skinned luchador with a camo mask and blonde mohawk.
They walk down together, slapping hands with fans on either side.
David Bekker: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 196 kilos, Major Mallory, El Soldado, the Battalion Bros!
DS: This is ridiculous, Darryl! These two fools got beat by Tom and Dick on episode 1! Why do they get a title shot?
SDS: Well, as it turns out, this was meant to be a Triple Threat Tag Team Match. However, Tom, Dick & Harry got destroyed when they went looking for a fight with the Madness on Monday, so they were taken out.
DS: That's not fair!
SDS: Maybe they should have gotten their priorities straight. Besides, Mallory and Soldado got the bounce-back win last week against the Wild Thornes. They've earned this opportunity.
Mallory climbs the steps and wipes his boots on the apron before stepping through the ropes. Soldado does a springboard into the ring from the adjacent apron.
The crowd goes wild as a high-pitched guitar riff plays.
Axel and Oscar run out, stop and cross their arms over their heads, creating an X-symbol while pointing their index fingers.
David Bekker: And their opponents, from Brigg, England, at a combined weight of 204 Kilos, Axel and Oscar, TEAM WALLACE!
They walk briskly to the ring, stopping to deliver high fives and fist bumps to the crowd.
SDS: Here come the former Tag Team Supreme. On the hunt since their brutal decimation at Ascension at the hands of the current Champs, Pandemonium.
DS: They not getting those titles back, Darryl. It's impossible.
SDS: We'll see, Diogo. We'll see. First they have to get past the Battalion Bros.
Once inside the ring, they climb the turnbuckles and do the same gesture they did on the stage.
The Wallaces hop down and discard their shirts. The Battalion Bros approach, fists clenched and eyes sharp.
SDS: Look at this. You cut the tension with a knife.
Mallory slowly extends a hand to Axel, which the elder Wallace accepts firmly. Soldado and Oscar engage in the same.
Head Referee "Big Joe" Wilson stands close, nodding in approval.
SDS: That's what it's all about. Respect between competitors. Between men.
DS: Oh, gimme a break! SOMEBODY PUNCH SOMEBODY!
Mallory: Said a few weeks back that we're picking up your slack. Tonight, we book our ticket.
Axel: Is that right? Hate to break it to you, mate, but the only things you're "picking up" tonight are yourselves.
Wilson: Alright, guys. We got a schedule to keep. Wrap it up.
The two teams break away and go to opposite corners. Soldado goes to the outside, as does Oscar.
SDS: Looks like Mallory and Axel will be starting for the teams. This is going to be one hell of a match!
Then the lights go out. The fans scream.
SDS: What's the--?
When the lights come back on, the Mother of Darkness, Tình Nhân seated at the commentary table with her lantern of souls in her lap and a headset under her hat. At her side are her gargantuan sons, the reigning Tag Team Champions, Hổn Loạn and Mộng Dữ, Pandemonium.
DS (slides his chair away): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Tình Nhân: Good evening, gentlemen. Mind if I join you?
SDS: Uh... No. N-Not at all.
Tình Nhân: Thank you for your accommodation.
All 5 men in the ring stare at the commentary desk.
Axel (takes a deep breath): Wilson. The bell.
Wilson looks at him, then at Pandemonium, then back at him before nodding and doing the same.
SDS: And... here we go. Tag Team match underway. Whoever wins gets the opportunity at your sons' belts, Tình Nhân.
Tình Nhân: Opportunity is an interesting word.
SDS: Mallory and Axel with a Collar-and-elbow tie-up. Mallory with the size and strength advantage- Axel with a Side Headlock, and now the takedown!
Tình Nhân: Smooth as silk.
Tình Nhân: Smooth as silk.
SDS: Mallory counters with the leverage, pinning predicament- Axel kicks out! Now both men back to their feet.
Axel and Mallory back away and then lock up again. Axel twists out and twists Mallory's arm with a standing Wristlock. Mallory rolls forward, undoing the twist and countering with a Wristlock of his own, only to go behind for a Hammerlock. Axel attempts an Elbow Strike with his free arm, but Mallory ducks under and lifts him for a Back Suplex, only to throw him forward for a Facebuster.
Tình Nhân: That had to hurt.
SDS: Great move by Mallory. There's the cover; Axel kicks out again.
Mallory grabs Axel's legs and quickly tries to drag him over to the Battalion corner. Axel kicks away and rolls backwards to his feet before backing away to the Wallace corner while rubbing his nose.
SDS: Axel creating distance here.
Tình Nhân: A taste of danger... It is sour.
Oscar: Axel, let me in.
Axel: You up for it, Oz?
Oscar extends his hand. On the opposite side, Soldado does the same.
SDS: In comes El Soldado and in comes Oscar Z. Wallace.
Tình Nhân: The Soldier and the young Olympian.
SDS: Truthfully, he didn't make it to the Olympics, but he was close.
SDS: Truthfully, he didn't make it to the Olympics, but he was close.
Tình Nhân: I'm beginning to sense a pattern.
Oscar shoots for a takedown, but Soldado leapfrogs him.
SDS: ... If I may, is there a particular outcome that you're looking for here?
Tình Nhân: I don't understand the question.
SDS: Which of these two teams, and perhaps one of your sons, can weigh in-
Tình Nhân: They won't.
SDS: Alright, which of these two teams would you rather your sons face?
Tình Nhân: Are you implying that we should feel threatened?
SDS: With all due respect, as impressive as your sons are, you should know from experience that no one is unbeatable.
Tình Nhân: Hmph. The Wallaces were the only threat I considered, especially after they won the titles. I was delightfully disappointed at Ascension.
SDS: I have to say I have not seen devastation like that in my career in and out of the ring- Soldado with a Headscissors, sending Oscar flying out of the ring!
The younger Wallace lands in front of the commentary desk and quickly stumbles to his feet and comes face to face with Mộng Dữ, who stands stiff as a board. Tình Nhân is holding up her lantern of souls.
Axel: Oz, ignore him!
Oscar stares up at the Cthulhu-masked giant. Meanwhile, Hổn Loạn remains at his mother's side, eyes glowing crimson, breathing heavily, nails cutting through his own forearm.
Wilson: Hey, get back!
Axel: Oz, get back in the ring. He's just toying with-
SDS: El Soldado with a Springboard Plancha! Taking out Oscar on the outside!
Soldado ignores Mộng Dữ and drags Oscar back into the ring. Mộng Dữ goes back to standing by his brother.
SDS: Oscar Wallace is in trouble. (Looks at Tình Nhân) Was that necessary?
Tình Nhân (lowers her lantern): I did nothing but sit. He did nothing but stand. Easy to ignore for even a failed Olympian. Then again, perhaps not?
SDS: And I suppose you had "nothing" to do with Heladas' attack on Danys Vités earlier tonight?
Tình Nhân: I will not dignify that question.
Soldado drags Oscar to the Battalion corner and tags in Mallory.
The soldiers get Oscar up and throw him into a corner. Mallory moves away as Soldado grabs Oscar's head.
Tình Nhân: What do we have here?
SDS: Double team coming up.
Soldado brings his feet up to Oscar's hips and falls backwards, bringing the younger Wallace down on top of him, only to push him off with his legs and send the 104-kilo Brit flying and flipping forward.
SDS: Soldado with a Monkey Flip- OH MY GOD!
The crowd pops loudly as Mallory catches Oscar and brings him down with a-
SDS: POWERBOMB!
Tình Nhân: That was... impressive.
SDS: And he's not done! The strength of Mallory; deadlifting Oscar for another Power- Look at Soldado, on the second rope. What are they- BOŽE MILI! A second Powerbomb and a Diving Leg Drop!
Tình Nhân: Amazing...
SDS: That has to be it! There's the cover. Axel coming to break it up! Soldado intercepts him! Oscar kicks out! That was close!
Tình Nhân: He's a resilient failure. I'll give him that.
SDS: I have not seen a sequence like that in over 20 years- Diogo, have you- Diogo? What's wrong with you? How could you sit here silently after watching that?
Tình Nhân: You have been uncharacteristically quiet. Is something the matter?
DS (coughing and croaking): L-L-Lost... my voice...
SDS: The hell do you mean you lost your voice?
Tình Nhân: Oh, you poor thing. Don't worry, I have just the remedy for that. (reaches into the neckline of her dress)
Tình Nhân: Oh, you poor thing. Don't worry, I have just the remedy for that. (reaches into the neckline of her dress)
SDS: Don't waste your time on this idiot-
Tình Nhân: Be kinder to your cohort, Mr Stroligo. (pulls something out) Here you go, Mr Santos.
SDS: What is that?
Tình Nhân: A frozen Covenfil Frog. Its skin secretions do wonders for the throat.
SDS: I have so many questions, but I'll start with: how is it still frozen?
Tình Nhân: I keep it close to my heart. Hahahaha. Now, Mr Santos, if you would just suck on this for the next hour-
DS: You know what, I'm feeling a whole lot better now!
SDS: That was fast.
Mallory attempts a Belly-to-Belly on Oscar, but the younger Wallace plants his feet, headbutts the former Marine and performs a Belly-to-Belly Slam of his own.
Tình Nhân: Someone's finally awake.
SDS: Great counter by Oscar! There's the cover. Mallory kicks out.
Axel (back on the outside): Oz!
Oscar quickly gets back to the Wallace corner and tags in Axel.
SDS: Wallaces in control. What have they got planned for the Major?
Oscar pounces on Mallory with a grounded Waistlock as he tries to get up. The Wallaces brothers then beat him down for a moment before picking him up and sending him running with a Double Irish Whip.
SDS: Oscar with a Drop Toe Hold. Axel with the Rolling Thunder to the back!
Tình Nhân: I believe he calls that Wrecked.
SDS: That he does. Oscar rolls out of the ring. Axel with the cover and Soldado flies in with the save!
Tình Nhân: You can never feel safe in a tag team match.
SDS: No, you cannot, and we can both attest, Diogo moreso than me.
DS: Why you saying my name?
SDS: Because you're a commentator. Now commentate.
DS: Nah, man. Y-You got this.
SDS: If you don't start doing your job, I'm going to make you lose your voice for real.
DS: Whoa, there, companheiro! You know I don't swing that way.
SDS: Wha- WHAT? What are you talking about?
DS: What you said just now. It was a little suspeito, man.
SDS: I was threatening to punch you in the throat!
DS: And now, why you talking about another man's throat?
SDS: ... I'm going to hurt you.
DS: Hehe.
SDS: I'm serious. Before this night is over, I'm going to put my foot- Never mind.
DS: Hahaha!
Tình Nhân: Such chemistry...
SDS & DS: ...
Tình Nhân: I'm talking about the match.
Axel performs a Snapmare Takedown on Mallory, then runs the ropes and comes back with a soccer-style kick.
SDS: Cover here. Is that enough to put Mallory away-and a kick out!
SDS: Cover here. Is that enough to put Mallory away-and a kick out!
Tình Nhân: There's an art to pinfalls. Every time one is forced to kick out, that is energy expended.
SDS: Yes, but on the other hand, executing a big move and going for the pin takes just as much, if not more, energy.
Tình Nhân: That is why it's an art.
SDS: Tag to Oscar. Axel with Mallory's legs. Slingshot Catapult... into a Clothesline by Oscar!
DS: Almost took Mallory's head off!
Tình Nhân: That's... more like it.
SDS: The Wallaces are in firm control. Oscar with a pin. Soldado's in the ring. Pin broken. Oscar... eats a Spinning Heel Kick! Axel... caught with an Arm Drag! And then a Dropkick to the outside.
Tình Nhân: It seems you spoke too soon.
SDS: And now Soldado on the apron. Asai Moonsault- NO! Axel dodged! But Soldado lands on his feet, and Axel turns him inside out!
Tình Nhân: Yes... YES!
Axel rushes back to his corner and stands on the apron: Oz! Oz, get up! Come on, shake it off!
Oscar stumbles to his feet and approaches.
Axel: Time for some Independence.
Oscar nods and tags him in.
SDS: Axel calling for Independence. This one is about to be in the books, but no. Mallory wisely rolling out of the ring.
Tình Nhân: No, you don't...
SDS: What the- Mộng Dữ is moving again. He's going for Mallory. T-Tình Nhân, please, call him back.
Tình Nhân: The word of the day is... inertia.
Mallory notices the void man's advance and throws up his fists while backing up. Oscar tries to go outside, but Axel stops him.
Wilson: Hey, I'm not telling you again, back up! Mallory, get in the ring.
Soldado runs up behind Mộng Dữ, climbs the apron and leaps off it with a pinpoint dropkick to the back of the head.
Crowd: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
SDS: He... He didn't register it. Mộng Dữ's head didn't even move from the dropkick.
DS: He bounced off him like a tennis ball off a brick wall...
SDS: And he's still stalking Mallory. He hasn't even noticed.
Wilson: 1... 2... 3...
Soldado gets up and tries to pursue.
Wilson (points back: Hey, no! Get back to your corner. Get back to your corner, now! (turns back to Oscar) You, you're not legal, out of the ring! (turns to Mallory who is still backing away from Mộng Dữ outside) Mallory, get back in the ring!
SDS: Head Referee Joe Wilson trying to restore order here.
Mallory rolls back into the ring. Mộng Dữ doesn't break stride or even look in his direction.
Tình Nhân: He's doing a good job.
SDS: No thanks to your son, I might add.
Tình Nhân: He's just... walking.
SDS: He's circling the ring like a shark.
Tình Nhân: Then maybe they should stay out of the water.
Mallory continues watching Mộng Dữ until Axel slaps him on the shoulder.
Axel: Oi! I'm your opponent. Eyes on me, soldier.
Tình Nhân: Ah, there he is, the ring general.
DS: Pretty sure some German guy took that name.
SDS: Austrian, actually.
DS: What's the difference?
SDS: What's the difference between a Brazilian and an Argentinian?
DS: Listen here, you filho da puta-
Tình Nhân: That reminds me, Mr Santos.
DS: Eh?
Tình Nhân: I actually had a question for you...
DS (coughs): Oh no... my voice.
SDS: Stop it.
Tình Nhân: You said something on the first episode that I found quite intriguing.
DS: I-I-I say a lot of things-
Tình Nhân: No, but there was a word you used in your native tongue. What was it again?
SDS: Axel Wallace. Devin Mallory. Trading right hands in the centre of the ring.
Tình Nhân: Now, I remember, it was... peitama. You what does that mean?
DS: I-I-I, uh, I don't- I-I-I don't know-
Tình Nhân: You don't know what it means?
DS: Uh, yeah- I mean, no.
SDS: Kick to the gut by Axel. Irish whip- blocked by Mallory. Gut Kick of his own. Going for Body Slam- no, Axel slips out. Neckbreaker! Both men are down.
Tình Nhân: You said I had two huge ones.
Hổn Loạn, who has been growing more antsy and aggravated, turns his head in the Pardo's direction.
DS: I-I-I didn't say huge. I mean, I did, but I wasn't talking about
Tình Nhân: I remember being backstage and watching you hold your hands up, like this, in a gripping fashion.
The Crimson Rage mask-wearing giant walks in front of the desk and slams his hand down upon it, eyes glowing red.
DS (high-pitched): UWAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!! I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! POR FAVOR, NÃO ME MATE! PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME!
SDS (stands up): Hey, no! That's enough. Back off!
Tình Nhân (looking up at Hổn Loạn): Ai bảo bạn di chuyển?
Hổn Loạn looks at his mother, his eyes stop glowing, and he returns to his spot.
Tình Nhân: Forgive him; he's a bit of a mama's boy.
SDS (sighing and sitting): Ma'am, please keep your sons under control. Diogo, apologise, now!
DS: I DID! I'M SORRY! I'm very, very sorry! I don't even know what I was saying. I was being stupid. I-I was caught
Tình Nhân: I still don't know what peitama means.
DS: It's... It's a fruit.
Tình Nhân: A fruit...
DS (whispers): Y... Yeah...?
Tình Nhân: ... Alright, then.
SDS: Axel and Mallory crawling to the corners. Who's going to get there first? Tag to Oscar. Tag to El Soldado!
Soldado climbs the turnbuckle. Oscar sprints to catch him. The Mexican leaps over him and lands with a roll. Oscar charges again with a Clothesline, but Soldado ducks and performs a back kick to the knee. Soldado then gets Oscar in a Headlock and runs to the corner.
SDS: Springboard Bulldog by Soldado.
Tình Nhân: The elder Wallace made a blind tag.
SDS: Soldado didn't see it. He's trying to make a cover, but Wilson's telling him no.
Soldado stands up to argue with Wilson. Axel comes behind him, spins him around and hits his signature Double Knee Facebreaker to huge pop.
SDS: Battle Axe! Battle Axe! Cover! Mallory breaks up the pin at the last nanosecond. Oscar's back up. He's got Mallory from behind. O'Connor Roll into the Release German Suplex.
DS: He damn near threw him out of the ring!
Tình Nhân: YES! YES! This is what I want to see!
Crowd: Wallace! Wallace! Wallace! Wallace!
SDS: This crowd is on their feet! They are loud in Manila!
Oscar goes back outside, and Axel tags him. Oscar then picks Soldado up in a Waistlock while Axel moves behind them both. Oscar then performs a German Suplex, throwing Soldado at Axel, who catches him with a Neckbreaker.
SDS: INDEPENDENCE!
Axel: Cover, Oz! Take us home!
Oscar hooks Soldado's leg, and Wilson hits the mat.
Wilson: 1! 2! 3!
The high-pitched guitar riff returns and is nearly drowned out by the explosion of cheers from the fans. Mộng Dữ freezes.
David Bekker: Here are your winners, TEEEAAM WAAALLAAAACCCEEE!!!
Oscar gets up to his knees, breathing heavily. Axel pats him on the chest and helps him up. Wilson comes between them and raises both men's hands.
SDS: You heard here, first! The Wallace brothers are your No. 1 contenders! To the Tag Team Championships! They are one step closer to regaining what they lost.
DS: They're dead men walking, Darryl.
Mallory returns to the ring to help his partner up. He gives the Wallaces a nod and one in kind from Axel before exiting.
SDS: That's what I love to see. A well-fought match from both teams-
Tình Nhân (looking up at Hổn Loạn): Đi!
SDS: What was that?
Hổn Loạn marches to the ring and climbs up the apron. Wilson ducks out of the ring.
SDS: No. No! Hổn Loạn is storming the ring.
DS: He destroyed them by himself at Ascension. That's how they lost the belts!
The monster charges at both brothers, who duck to the side. Oscar, on pure instinct, grabs Hổn Loạn in a Waistlock and performs the German suplex into the Neckbreaker.
SDS: INDEPENDENCE! The Wallaces were ready! They were ready for him.
Oscar stands up, breathing heavily in shock. Axel has both fists clenched, looking at Mộng Dữ, who remains stiff as a statue and then at Tình Nhân, who remains seated.
SDS: What was that you were saying, Diogo?
Hổn Loạn slowly sits up, and the fans scream in terror. Oscar moves around him to stand next to Axel.
DS: Dead. Men. Walking, Darryl.
Hổn Loạn rises to his feet, towering over the Brits and lunges at them yet again.
And the lights go out, yet again.
SDS: Not again.
They come back on. Hổn Loạn is gone. Mộng Dữ is gone. Tình Nhân is gone.
SDS: There will be nowhere to run, next week in Suva, Fiji. I dread this contest.
Axel shakes his head and slaps Oscar in the chest, pointing at one turnbuckle before going to climb another. The Wallaces cross their arms over their heads, creating an X-symbol while pointing their index fingers. The guitar riff returns, louder and more defiant. The crowd roars in kind.
No comments:
Post a Comment