PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - *The Honey Badger vs Vito Montani

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Vito Montani is standing by a corner, facing away from the stage and gripping the ropes tightly.

SDS: And so we have our new main event for tonight. I just want to apologise to everyone for the atrocious, unprofessional conduct of our Champion. I would say the same thing for the challenger, but his frustration is understandable. The phrase "Card is subject to change" typically refers to factors beyond our control, acts of God, if you will. It has nothing to do with THAT!

DS: I still can't believe he did it. He really walked out...

SDS: It's disgusting, isn't it?

DS: What're you talking about? It was awesome! Did you see the look on Campbell's face? I've seen fresh, ripe tomatoes more pale.

SDS: So you're condoning that?

DS: I'm not condoning nothing. Don't put words in my mouth!

SDS: You just called it awesome!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Paul Grizzly (c) vs Vito Montani

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David Bekker: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening! And it is scheduled for one fall.

Crowd: ONE FALL!

David Bekker: And it is for the Psycho Style Wrestling World Dominion Championship!

An intense hip hop track plays over the speakers, and the crowd pops. Montani comes out, shirtless as always, with a beanie on his head, a crucifix around his neck and purpose in his steps. 

David Bekker: Introducing the challenger! Representing the Streetwise Krew, from Newark, New Jersey in the USA, standing 2 metres tall and weighing in at 121 kilos, VITO MONTANI!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Triple Tectonic Trouble

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A high-energy, high-spirited violin and beat track plays and the crowd pops loudly. A very small, skinny man power walks down the ramp with a smile. He is clad in orange from his baseball cap to his shirt to his trunks and boots. 

DS: Uh, security? I think a fan snuck over the barricade.

SDS: That's no fan, Darryl. 

David Bekker: Making his way to the ring, from Alice Springs, Australia, standing 170 centimetres and weighing in at 73 kilos, Job R. Smith!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - The Kraal

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Backstage

The crowd loudly cheers as the tall, shredded, tanned Italian in denim jeans with one hand covered by a black fingerless glove and the other in white wrappings. Both hands are throwing jabs, hooks, crosses and uppercuts.

SDS: And there he is! Vito Montani. He challenges Paul Grizzly in an Ascension rematch for the World Dominion Championship tonight, and Diogo just look at the speed of those hands. If he were fighting anyone else, I'd be worried-

DS: But he's not, Darryl! He's fighting Paul Grizzly, who already tore his ass up on Sunday and tonight, he finishes the job!

Cyclone (o.s): Vito.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Danys Vités vs El Cirujano

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SDS: It is now time for some Thunderweight action!

David Bekker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: One fall!

A deep rumbling futuristic track plays. The two big screens on the stage each show a speed-o-meter, which transitions into a vortex. A flash of light and the first-person camera rushes through a subway, exits onto a busy street at even greater speeds. 

An explosion and a blurry streak of blue, black and orange rushes down the ramp and circles the ring 5 times, before stopping at the base of the ramp. Vités runs forward and slides feet-first into the ring. 

He raises a hand in the air, his eyes glowing amber behind his black mask and drops it. A trail of blue pyro runs comes down the ramp mimicking his previous path. The Tequila crowd loses it, just like the Sambuca crowd at Ascension.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Backin' Blood

We cut to an area in the back where GM Jeffrey Campbell, clad in a purple dress shirt with rolled-up sleeves and his signature curve-rimmed hat, is standing by a large monitor. Next to him is Fight Pit Producer, Palesa Jeyi, with her big afro and brightly-coloured pantsuit. The crowd pops loudly when they see him.

Jeyi: Hectic...

Campbell: Yeah, that's Tình Nhân, fair dinkum. If she were still in her prime, Nalah would've nabbed her. We're bloody lucky, eh?

Jeyi: Tell that to Hendrix.

Campbell (shrugs): Wrong place, wrong time. He'll be right. (looks at her, while pointing at the monitor) And speakin' of, who in the blue hell gave the thumbs up to that absolute shocker of a tune they rocked up to?

Jeyi (shakes her head while holding up her hands): That was NOT the song they submitted. I don't know what that was.

Campbell: Yeah, well, ya better get onto fixin' it, pronto, before Sanka kicks me off the telly or the U.N. slaps us with sanctions for terrorism.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Mother's Word is Law

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Tình Nhân remains still for a moment. You can hear a pin drop. Mộng Dữ stands completely still as though he were made of stone and just as lifeless, with his eyes completely blacked out. Hổn Loạn breathes heavily, swaying from side to side, clawing at his own arm, ready to explode.

Tình Nhân: Psycho... Style... I remember when those words first graced my ears. I remember when I was baptised and converted. And I remember, from a distance, watching it die...

She looks down at the mat for a moment.

Tình Nhân: Imagine my shock when it found new life and... (raises her head) when it called out to me.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Tom & Dick w/ Harry vs Battalion Bros

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The actual match is well underway. Tom, no longer wearing his top hat and shades, stomps on El Soldado in the corner. Dick is on the apron, while Harry stands on the outside yelling insults with tissues in his bloody nose. Referee Dan Masters is issuing warnings and starting the five-count.

SDS: Presley needs to be careful here. Tag. In comes-

DS: BIG DICK!

SDS: Really?

DS: It was right there. Don't tell me not to take it.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Military Meets Music

 Pyro shoots up from the stage, screeching loudly before falling back down and exploding, followed by a grungy rock track playing. Two men draped in camo walk out. A well-built Caucasian with a bandana and a ginger beard, and a shorter, leaner, brown-skinned luchador with a camo mask and blonde mohawk.

They walk down together, slapping hands with fans on either side.

SDS: On the topic of tag teams...

David Bekker: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 196 kilos, Major Mallory, El Soldado, the Battalion Bros!

DS: You know, Darryl. I had brothers, cousins and uncles in the Brazilian Armed Forces, I'm talking Navy, Army, Air Force, Police, Firefighters, everything. I cannot stand stolen valour.

SDS: Stolen valour? Devin Mallory was a Major in the United States Marine Corps. His credentials are legitimate.

DS: I'm not talking about Mallory! I'm talking about that bobagem next to him. "El Soldado"? "The Soldier"? Seriously?

SDS: He has credentials, too!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Title Talk

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DS: Darryl, I can't get over that Cyclone kid. I thought he was done, and he just ran through Kruscher at the end and picked him up. That was superhuman!

SDS: Indeed it was, partner. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be challenging for the World Dominion title in the very near future, whether it's Paul Grizzly or Vito Montani.

Santos shakes his head at the mention of Montani.

SDS: Now, we've already been feeling the fallout of the end of Ascension, but two big title changes took place earlier in the show.

DS: That's right! We witnessed perfection when Dennis Zázrak took Tecton, even after his pathetic loser of an ex-partner, Talon, jumped him!

SDS: We'll hear from the new Tectonic Champion later tonight, just like we'll hear from the new Tag Team Champions, Pandemonium, very shortly. And Diogo, you and I, we're no strangers to tag team gold. Although I will admit you're more experienced in that department than me.

DS (smirks and nods, while holding up his fingers): 7 times, baby!

SDS: Have you ever been in or seen as one-sided a bout as we saw on Sunday in that tag team ladder match?

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Johnny Cyclone vs Kruscher

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Lightning strikes the stage before a high-energy 130 BPM rock track blasts through the speakers. 

DS: AAAAAH! What the hell?!

The two big screens display an endless looping clip of a tornado. Johnny Cyclone walks, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck while clenching his white-gloved fists. 

David Bekker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: One fall!

Cyclone starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, his freeform dreadlocks shaking every which way.

David Bekker: Introducing first, from Montgomery, Alabama, in the United States of America, standing 2 metres tall and weighing in at 115 kilos, JOHNNY CYCLONE!

Cyclone leaps into the air and comes crashing down, summoning a huge explosion of pyro. He marches down to the ring, slapping some hands with the fans.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Hero's Welcome

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- 3 January 2031

The capacity crowd is rabid, held back by a chain-link barricade in the fog-filled arena. A ramp leads down from a stage with two big screens displaying the letters P S W in red, purple and blue, respectively, to the ring. The ring is completely white save for the steel-grey ropes and the words "FIGHT PIT" splattered on the apron in blue.

SDS: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Welcome everybody to the first episode of Psycho Style Wrestling's Friday Night Fight Pit. "Striking" Darryl Stroligo here with the "Carnival King" Diogo Santos, and we are LIVE from the Tenamaxtli Stadium in the town of Tequila!

DS: "Tequila", my ASS, Darryl! Have you tasted the stuff they got here? It's like drinking horse piss, companheiro. They should change the name!

SDS: How do you know what that tastes like?

DS: NO COMMENT!