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A stadium sits along the coastal highway, an open-air complex of vibrant blue, yellow, and green steel. It is framed by towering white light masts and sweeping roofs shaped like traditional ocean-going canoes. PSW and Madhouse iconography is draped over every ledge.
Inside, ten thousand mostly Malenesian spectators fill two long, brightly coloured Grandstands facing across a sky-blue eight-lane running track that wraps around a lush green football pitch at the centre of which sits the wrestling ring.
A.B.: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Psycho Style Wrestling's Monday Night Madhouse! I'm Alf Balducci; the livewire, Dominga Alvarez, to my right; the ever-analytical Aazif Shamoon to my left. With just 20 days to go until the Valentine's Brawl in Dunedin, New Zealand, we are coming to you LIVE from the capital city of the Solomon Islands, Honiara!
Dominga: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Shamoon: Great to be here; I just wish it wasn't so hot.
Dominga: Aren't you Saudi Arabian? Heat should be in your blood.
Shamoon: I'm Canadian. My blood likes to snow, not sand.
Dominga: Ugh...
A.B.: Now, now, you too. We have a great show ahead. A dream match, or a nightmare, we'll see; a tag team grudge match; a possible title match-
Dominga: You can't be serious. Evans is wrestling tonight? After the war he had with Festa?
A.B.: As the inaugural Crimson King, he has to.
Shamoon: Geez, I hate to say it, but I almost want him to lose for his own sake.
Dominga: I don't hate to say it, I want him to lose horribly for dabbing in 2031.
A.B.: And speaking of champions, THE Champion, THE Bearer of the Jewell, THE greatest wrestler of her generation, Ngozi - Empress of the Squared Circle will make an appearance tonight!
Dominga: Wow... You didn't hold back. Not even a little bit.
A.B.: She's my wife. I'm done feigning neutrality.
Dominga: You were feigning?
Shamoon: So, I guess things are cool between you two? With that whole kissing Cobra on the lips thing?
A.B.: We... worked things out.
Shamoon: I'm glad, but yeah, that was an insane title defence, but now she doesn't have a challenger for the Brawl.
Dominga: Well, management and the roster have 3 weeks, including tonight, to figure it out and step up to the plate. Now, on with the show!
Shamoon: Well, actually I wanted to talk a bit more about last week in Samoa. There are some cool stats-
Dominga: Nobody cares.
Shamoon (sad, lips quivering): ... Mmmm
A.B. (shaking head and sighing): Go on, Aaz.
Shamoon smiles and blows a raspberry at Alvarez.
Dominga (rolling eyes): Real mature.
Shamoon: Anyway, Apia was a wild night, and I decided to check out the top 3 most-viewed matches and segments. Some of these might surprise you, while others not so much.
A.B.: Don't leave us in suspense.
Dominga: Get on with it, you dork.
Shamoon: Okay, the most watched segment of the night was in the beginning, dubbed "Accountability", when Ngozi popped up on the big screen for the first time since getting poisoned in Episode 2 and verbally tore into Sarah Esposito for losing to Shay Maharaj. This also had Esposito getting pissed and getting in Ngozi's face before being talked down to, with Zadie Chen silently backing Ngozi up.
A.B.: Unsurprising. What's number 2?
Shamoon: The second most watched segment was dubbed "The Angel & the Owl" where after defeating Chica Dorada with a freaking Tornado Kick and the Owl Wing Driver, Athiambo was confronted by Firyali, who demanded a match.
Dominga: Seriously? That embarrassing display got the second most eyeballs on the night.
A.B.: Firyali's promo was really bad. It didn't help that Athiambo didn't take her seriously for a moment.
Dominga: Yeah, and then she pulled the "I already asked the GM's permission, so no takesies backsies!" card. Ha! I hope she gets crushed.
Shamoon: And Number 3 was... "Chaos", which took place after Jessie Moore's "victory" over Zadie Chen. You know when Athiambo came back and just straight up KIDNAPPED Chen in front of everybody, and then the Madness came out and took over the ring, and made a declaration that they were coming for the Tag Team titles after Pandemonium and Team Wallace are done with each other and the Tom, Dick and Harry came over from the Fight Pit, made a whole bunch of racist comments, tried to jump the Madness and got absolutely wrecked.
Dominga: Figures.
A.B.: That one makes sense.
Shamoon: And speaking of Moore v Chen, that ended up being the MATCH of the night, followed by Ngozi v Cobra and Esposito v Maharaj. (chuckles) Although I don't think you can call that a "match".
Dominga: Ngozi's title defence came second? Pffft. HAHAHA!
Balducci glares.
Dominga: WITH RESPECT!
A.B. (clears throat): It truly was a special night in Samoa. Let's hope we can leave just as big an impact on the people of the Solomons!
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