Monday, August 17, 2026

PSW Madhouse Episode 5 - The Next Chapter

A bombastic regal theme plays, and the Honiarans rise to their feet and scream. Ngozi walks briskly out onto the soccer field, clad in a pale blue tracksuit and her signature orange visor sunglasses with the Jewell's Championship around her waist and microphone in her hand.

A.B.: It's the Empress! Empress Ngozi in Honiara-

Dominga: Why are you acting like you didn't walk into the building with-

A.B.: GOD DAMNIT, ALVARÉZ, LET ME TALK ABOUT MY WIFE! THE BEARER OF THE JEWELL! THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF HER GENERATION! NO, THE GREATEST WRESTLER ALIVE! NGOZI - EMPRESS OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE! Okay, I'm done.

Shamoon: She's looking good for someone who swallowed vertigo-inducing venom last week, with respect.

A.B.: That's what good anti-venom gets you.

Ngozi smiles and gives the crowd a royal wave before climbing the steps, wiping her feet on the apron and entering the ring.

Ngozi: Honiara!

The crowd pops yet again.

Ngozi: ... Your Empress... has... arrived!

The ovation restarts.

Ngozi (tall and proud): Last week, in Samoa, I ended the Saga of the Serpent, and now I stand before you, STILL your reigning, defending, undisputed Psycho Style Wrestling Jewell's Champion!

Another pop.

Ngozi (looks down, pacing): It wasn't easy. In fact, it was dangerous. It was a dangerous situation that I put myself in. (looks up, gesturing at the crowd) It was an uncomfortable position that I put all the fans in attendance, (at the camera) all those watching at home, (at the entrance) everyone in the back and (at the desk) the commentators at ringside in. 

Shamoon: You're telling me.

Ngozi (looks down again): And frankly, (looks back up) it was legitimately terrifying. 

Some in the crowd boo.

Ngozi: It was. It truly was a frightening experience having to share a ring with a crazed she-demon who was single-mindedly determined to sink her teeth into my flesh. It is stuff nightmares are made of... (smirks and holds up a finger) but thankfully, I was blessed to marry an incredible husband who is so, so adept at keeping me up all night long.

The crowd pops louder than ever before as she lets out a very posh. The camera feed switches to the commentary desk, where the old Italian is currently shielding his bright red face with a stack of papers.

Crowd: Balducci.... Balducci... Balducci! BALDUCCI!

Dominga: Damn, abuelo. I didn't know you had it in you.

Shamoon: Hahaha!

The Empress blows him a kiss and waits for the crowd to quiet down.

Ngozi (looks down, smile gone):... Now, in truth, Alf was very upset with me and rightfully so. It was not a fun ride to our hotel room, nor was it a fun conversation. It definitely wasn't fun before that when I was sitting in the trainer's room for hours with an anti-venom needle in my arm and a certain prickly doctor in my ear. But would I do it all again? (takes off visor) Absolutely!

Another pop.

Ngozi: I would do it all again, because it needed to be done. It needed to be done for my reign to truly begin, but now there's a caveat. As I look ahead, I realise that I stand here, with 20 days until the Valentine's Brawl, a champion without a challenger. (puts visor back on) That... will not do.

She unclips the belt from around her waist and places it on her shoulder.

Ngozi: Now, I have been watching this broadcast, and while I have seen chaos, I have also seen some potential contenders. So, I would like to propose-

A sinister Western track plays. The crowd boos and cheers. Ngozi goes completely stiff.

A.B.: Oh no. NO!

Dominga: Oh yeah! With respect.

Out walks the Outlaw, black-hatted and red-bandanaed, grey-gloved hand holding a mic as she swaggers to the ring. 

Shamoon: I mean, it makes sense. Moore splitting from Cobra and Maharaj to go after the Jewell. And if there's anybody who can truly challenge the Empress, it's the Outlaw. With respect.

The Utah native steps into the ring, slowly. Ngozi turns to face her, slowly.

Moore (arm outstretched): Howdy doo, Honiara?

Minor pop. 

Moore (looks at Ngozi, speaking with quiet menace): Howdy doo... Empress? Ah couldn't help but overhear that ya ain't gawt nobody ta dahns with at thuh brawl.
 
A.B.: She said it on a microphone in front of the world. Of course, you heard it, you redneck-

Moore: Well, look no further, pardner (hand on chest and leans forward), 'cause ah'll be yo-wr huckleberry.

Ngozi: ... No.

The crowd gasps.

Moore: ... 'Scuse me?

Ngozi: You're excused. 

The crowd laughs.

Moore (scratching her head): Done Ah miss sumthing? Didn't ya say ya wanted a challenger?

Ngozi: I also said I was looking ahead. I have nothing to gain from beating you for the 1000th time this century. 

A.B.: Exactly!

Dominga: Right... With respect!

Ngozi: This brand has nothing to gain from yet another contest between us. The people have nothing to gain from another contest.

The crowd boos.

Shamoon: I think the people disagree. With respect!

Ngozi: So, thank you. (looks at the entrance) Next!

The woman from Salt Lake City lowers her head and laughs into the mic. It is long, loud and bitter. The entire building goes silent from discomfort, even fear.

Moore: ... Ya nary change. (raises head, lime-green eyes peeking from under the shadow) Do ya? (steps forward) It's actually kahnd awf cute, how ya thought ah was givin' ya a choice, but maybe that was maah fuh-ault.  Let me fix that. You ahr goin' t' give me a Jewell's Title mach at thuh Valentine's Brawl, or else.

The towering daughter of Igbo turns fully to face her nemesis.

Ngozi: Or else... what?

Moore (steps even closer, speaking with venom): Or else ah'll snap that stack awf checker pieces ya cahwl a neck.

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The Empress scrunches her nose and compresses her lips.

Ngozi: ... Can you afford it?

Moore: What? Shabani's little ordinance? Her little fines?

Ngozi (takes off visor again, steps closer): The reconstructive surgery for your face if you don't. Get out. Of mine.

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

The Empress then tosses her visor into the stands, leading to some fans leaping up and grabbing it. She smiles with her teeth, though it doesn't reach her light brown eyes.

Ngozi: You know what? Maybe... Just maybe, we should go again.

Pop.

Ngozi (slowly losing RP accent): Maybe, for the benefit of the new generation, I should WHEEP YOU like the dirty, inbred, crack-born donkey wey you be ONE LAST TIME!

The crowd roars in approval.

Moore (steps back, pointing): Ah, there she is! There she is. (turns away) But ya know, now that ah think about it, we ain't gotta wait until Dunedin. (takes off hat and turns back with wide eyes) Do we?

Ngozi grabs the zipper of her track jacket and pulls it down. The crowd is going ballistic.

A.B.: Wait, no! NO!

Dominga: Yes! YES!

A loud siren is heard, followed by an aggressive rock track.

Shamoon: That's Sarah Esposito's music!

Dominga: Who invited her?!

Esposito: Hold it! 

The veterans in the ring turn from each other to the bouffant-haired Mexican-Italian as she steps out onto the field in a denim vest and pants with a mic in hand. The crowd's response is not very friendly.

Esposito: Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Just wait a minute. (starts walking to the ring) Now, I didn't want to do it this way, because I thought there was going to be some kind of tournament or battle royale or something, but if this is how it works, then I need to make a case for myself. 

The No. 1 draft pick hops onto the apron, but does not step inside.

Esposito: Now, granted, I haven't been doing this (points down at the ring) for a very long time, but I have been fighting for a long time, and I always understood it as the person stacking up wins gets to challenge for th-

Moore: ¡Las adultas estaban conversando, niña! ¡Lárgate!

The crowd bursts out laughing.

Dominga: BAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!

The Rose of Ferocity squints her aqua-green eyes in Moore's direction. Now she steps into the ring, but first she walks over to Ngozi.

Esposito: Empress, is it alright if I step in here for a minute?

The Champion raises a hand and walks away to a far corner to observe the unfolding. 

Esposito: Thank you.

The younger, floral-tatted woman then steps into the Outlaw's personal space, standing over her by two inches.

Esposito: Dime algo. ¿Quién demonios te crees que eres? You honestly think you deserve a title match? You? For what? Because for the last decade and a half or more you've been riding her coattails? (gestures at Ngozi) Or because last week you got a cheap win against Zadie? (shakes head) Nah! (finger on chest) I have been wrecking shop since my first night on the job. That is fact! So if anyone has a right to call her shot for the Jewell, it's me (points at Moore), not you.

Shamoon: She's right.

Dominga: Shut up, Shamoon!

A.B.: It is hard to argue, though.

Moore (slowly raising a finger): Now, ya listen, eend listen good. Thuh next taahm ya come out hair eend a) git in maah face eend b) put a finger in maah face, ah'll tay-uk awff this hair belt awf maahn eend tan yo-wr fanny until it's as ree-ehd as that ridiculous 'aircut!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Moore: An the-yn ah'll keep at it until it's as blue as thuh ocean surroundin' this shithole island!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Moore (shakes her head in disgust): "Wreckin' shop since yo-wr fuhrst naahyt." ... Yer an MMA chick, right? Ya evher 'ere thuh phrase "can crusher"?

Esposito's eyes narrow further.

Shamoon: Oof!

A.B.: What does that mean?

Moore (starts pacing while keeping eye contact): An let's tawk about that fuhrst naahyt awf yourn that ya're so proud awf. Thuh draft in December. Thuh naahyt Shabani picked ya fuhrst out awf pyhaw spaahyt.

Crowd: Oooh!

Dominga: She did.

Moore: Wudn that thuh same naahyt where ya looked Sara Williams in thuh ah eend told her ya didn't fetch yo-wr gear?

Esposito clenches her fists.

Moore: And then you went out there and tore your pants in the middle.

The crowd laughs. Esposito's jaw clenches.

Moore: Eend what were ya doin' in thuh ring? Oh yeah, ya were teamin' uhp with thuh Chink t' lick uhp a Frogeater eend CUH-nadyun Frogeater. That what you call wreckin' shop?

The crowd gasps.

Shamoon: Does- Does she ever stop with the slurs? And why'd she say Canadian like that?

Moore: Or because last week, ya squashed some coolie scrub who couldn't wrestle her way out awf a paper bag? For that, ya deserve t' be thuh number 1 contender?

A.B.: She's gonna get us taken off the air, my God! Cut the mic off!

Dominga: I didn't hear you complaining when Ngozi called her inbred and crack born. 

Moore: Eend ya squashed that scrub after she pinned ya thuh week befo-wr eend put a lead pipe ta thuh back awf yo-wr head thuh week befo-wr that, eend ya come out hair wantin' a title match- (stops pacing) Oh, I get it now. I completely forgot. Her royal painness over there is your hero. Your idol. Which is why you just stood there like a mutt while she read you the riot act in front of the world. 

Esposito briefly looks over at Ngozi, who leans impassively against the corner with her arms folded.

Moore (looking away in thought while snapping her fingers): An what was that? thuh, uh- Shamoon! Where's Shamoon?

Shamoon (wide-eyed): Huh?

Moore (looks over at the desk): That was thuh most-watched segmehyant last week, right? "Accountability", ya called it.

Shamoon: I, uh-

Moore: Ah done asked ya a question, sonny!

Shamoon (nods vigorously): Yes! Yes! The most watched!

The Rose's face falls, a shadow cast over her eyes.

Moore: That's raahyt.  (turns back to Esposito) An look at ya, jus' now. (high-pitched voice) "Oh, Empress, is it alraahyt ifin' ah jump in? Is it okay if ah speak? Oh, really? Thank ya so much. Yer thuh best.  Ah'll be syhaw t' do a good job awn Wensdee whe-yn ah come ovher t' WIPE YO-WR ASS!"

The crowd... pops. Esposito grits her teeth and shakes with rage.

A.B.: Good lord.

Shamoon: Damn!

Dominga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moore: 2 months, sweetheart. It's been nearly 2 months since draft night eend ya ain't done nothin' t' impress nobody!

Dominga: That's right! She's a fraud! Overrated!

A.B.: I noticed some key details being left out of that picture.

Esposito: ... You say you're not impressed? You want to talk about this show? (lifts her head) In the main event of night 1 of this show, I tossed your FAT ASS from that corner (points in Ngozi's direction) to that corner (points at the opposing corner! Where you impressed then?

Shamoon: She did!

Esposito (nose-to-nose): If not, right here, right now, I can take my boot and leave an "impression" ON your fat ass!

The sound of tapping on a mic is heard. It is the Empress, having finally seen enough.

Ngozi (approaching): Ladies, this is clearly getting us nowhere. (stands between them) Here's what's going to happen. Next week, in Mount Hagen, the two of you will go one-on-one; whoever wins will face me at the Valentine's Brawl for the Jewell.

A.B.: I like that.

Dominga: Me too!

Shamoon: Me three!

The crowd is mixed, with some cheering the announcement and others booing the fact that they don't get a No. 1 contender's match in their city.

Moore: See ya in PNG, rookie. (looks at Ngozi) And see YOU in Dunedin.

The Outlaw then picks up her hat and rolls out of the ring. Esposito glares after her as the sinister Western track plays again. 

Ngozi: Excuse me! This was my microphone time. Cut that nonsense off and play the correct music, thank you.

The bombastic royal theme returns and the crowd cheers. Esposito takes that as her cue to leave as well.

The Empress stands alone in the ring, dropping her microphone, raising the Jewell's Champion. 

A.B.: That's my Empress. That's my Champion!

Dominga: Yeah, for how long? With respect!

~

The Tube

Video Title: PSW Mahouse Episode 5 (Live Reaction)

Channel: SquaredCircleShoot (Live Viewers: 45,210)


Live Chat Replay:
  • User_7729: LMAOOOO SHE CALLED HER A CAN CRUSHER!
  • FightFanatic: The gap in mic prowess is insane. Moore didn't even yell, she just dismantled her resume piece by piece.
  • BlueRing99: "Tan your fanny until it's red as that haircut" 💀💀💀 Put that quote in the Louvre!
  • EspositoDefenseSquad: Y'all are haters. Sarah isn't a talker, she's a fighter. Wait until next week.
  • MMA_Guru31: Being a fighter doesn't matter if you let your opponent get inside your head. Moore cited the LIVE BROADCAST STATS to prove Sarah is a nobody. That is Hall of Fame level trash talk.
  • EmpressReigns: Ngozi commanding them to cut Moore's music to play her own royal theme is the biggest flex in the history of PSW.
  • SaltLakeShooter: Esposito looked like a scolded child. If she doesn't knock Moore out in the first round next week, her hype train is officially derailed. It's only been two months and she's already cracking under the lights.

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Trending Topics | January 27, 2031

  1. #PSWMadhouse (1.2M bLasts)
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  4. Empress Ngozi (389K bLasts)

@LatinaHeat44
WAIT HOLD UP... WHY DID THE RACIST UTAH GRANDMA JUST BARK AT SARAH IN FLAWLESS SPANISH?! 😭💀 "¡Las adultas estaban conversando, niña! ¡Lárgate!" I AM IN TEARS WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

  • Reply by @MikeViagra
Caling her Grandma when she just turned 39 is crazy.
  • [🔃 Quote bLast by @DeepDiveWrasslin']
A lot of new fans don't know this, but Jessie Moore has been married to a Dominican man for like 10 years. She also grew up doing farm work with Mexican migrants.

She's still a bigot, but not to Hispanics lol. 


    • Reply by @LatinaHeat44
I don't know if that actually makes her 1000x more terrifying wtf.

@SashaMaynard

I hate Moore for the slurs. Disgusting human. But the way she mocked Sarah asking Ngozi for permission to speak???

“Oh, Empress, is it alraahyt ifin' ah jump in? Ah'll be syhaw t' do a good job awn wWnsdee whe-yn ah come ovher t' WIPE YO-WR ASS!”

I literally had to pause the stream. Sarah looked like a lost puppy.

  • Reply by @CasualChaosEnjoyer

LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 She turned the #1 overall draft pick into a waterboy in 45 seconds. "Can I speak Empress???" 🐕

  • Reply by @BloodAndSweat

If Esposito doesn't literally break Moore's jaw next week, she's never recovering from this burial. PNG is going to be a bloodbath.

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