PSW Fight Pit End of January Special - The Sad Sacks

The cameraman catches Sara Blood Jr as she lumbers into the concourse, her shoulders slumped, her long black locks obscuring her face. Katrina Petrov approaches, mic in hand.

Petrov: Sara, tough loss out there, but there was a moment at the en-

Sara Jr (without even looking at her): I don'. Want. To talk. Right now.

The Staten Islander walks past. The camera watches her walk down the concourse before the feed switches to that of an O.R.D.R.L.I. within the medical tent of Deputy Chief Medical Officer Dr Kenji Tanaka. A heated argument between Raquel Santana, who has her pant leg rolled up with ice on her knee and Kevin Kambole.

Santana: ... I said I was sorry! What more you want?

Kambole: I want you! One-on-one, next week! You don't get to jump me like a bitch cause you feeling some type of way and den hide behind some lame apology. 

Santana: Fine! You wanna get your ass kicked again? Dessa vez eu não vou ter pena, sua vadia!

Kambole: What you call me?

Tanaka (holding up hands peacefully): Okay, okay. Let's calm down. 

The feed switches again, and we find another native of Staten Island, Gary Wildman, arguing with his tag team partner, Nigel Thorne, who has a ball in his hand.

Thorne: ... One more minute. All you had to do was keep the ring clear for ONE MORE MINUTE, and you couldn't even do that right-

Wildman: Lay off, Thorne! In case you didn't notice, I got taken out by some punk in a mask. By the time I come to, the bell was ringing. The hell you'd want me to do-

Thorne: He barely grazed on that dive! You could've shaken it off!

Wildman: I'm about to shake you off!

Thorne: What does that even mean, you blithering oaf?

The feed switches again just inside the main production tent, where the wannabe rock n' roll trio of Tom Presley, Dick Jagger and Harry Hendrix are interrogating Producer Palesa Jeyi. The first time they've been seen since their failed attack on the Madness in Apia, Samoa.

Harry (tiny ball in hand): ... and I reckon it's a right laugh that a star like me didn't get first dibs in that Gauntlet! I mean, flamin' number twenty? You havin' a giraffe?

Tom: It's like you was shaggin' 'im on bleedin' purpose.

Dick: D'ya know what we coulda done wiv a ton o' dosh? The sights we coulda seen, eh? The birds? Not in this bloody hole, but somewhere free o' the trolls.

Crowd: Boo!

Harry: I could see it now—Oi! You listenin' or what?

Jeyi (lifts headphones, looks up from monitor): Sorry, did you say something?

The crowd laughs.

The feed switches one more time. Another O.R.D.R.L.I. finds Kala Kahuna sitting on the mini stands of the hardcourt. He stares up at the starry sky, sullen and defeated. Next to him is Torti Gal, equally forlorn. He doesn't seem to have noticed her though. 

Eventually, he does, as does she. The turtle costume-clad... person... slowly raises her clawed hands for a palm touch. Kahuna stares at it for a long time before reciprocating the gesture with his own palm.

The crowd pops and the feed ends.