SDS: We turn back now to Katrina Petrov, who is with the Honey Badger.
DS: Not that crazy cara.
SDS: Katrina, take us away.
Concourse
Petrov stands in front of a wall under the grandstand. The feral Afrikaner paces behind, breathing heavily and frothing at the mouth.
Petrov: Thanks, Darryl. Like you said, with a very...
Badger growls.
Petrov (side-eyeing him): ... angry Honey Badger, who... requested this... interview time. Badger, could you tell us what's on your mind?
1.68-metre man stops and shoots his hand up at her face, making her flinch backwards. It's not a punch or an attempted strangulation. He's holding something, a tiny yellow ball, which he then shows to the camera.
There's a number on it: 10.
Crowd: OOOOH...
SDS: Oh no...
Badger: Fight Pit... Fight Puwse... (looks off with wide eyes) Hundred t'ousand on the line... Nine fresh bodies... A buzzer... a bell... Nothing. (crushes ball) NOTHING FOR THE BADGER! No fight! No purse! NOTHING! No title either. I beat a Heavywoight Champion TWICE, and it meant NOTHING!
He begins beating his own head with both hands, clawing at his mutton chop sideburns, his own skin and his mohawk while slobbering incoherently. Petrov remains rooted, holding the microphone.
As he lets out a tired sigh and hangs his arms and head, she pulls the mic back.
Petrov: So... what do you plan to do?
Badger: I was promised... that I'd get to fight... the biggest and baddest (suddenly starts laughing, and raising his head), and THAT is what I'm going to do.
SDS: What does he mean by that?
Petrov: Are you going to try and insert yourself in the Montani-Grizzly-
Badger: BAH! Montani's a bitch.
Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!!
Badger: And Grizzly? He's not the biggest dog.
Petrov: Then... who is?
Badger: The man who hasn't shown himself since the draft. The Weight of the Heavens! The Immovable Object!
Badger: The man who hasn't shown himself since the draft. The Weight of the Heavens! The Immovable Object!
SDS: No way... he can't be serious.
Badger: 272 kilos of meat. I WANT IT! I WANT HIM! (looks into the camera) I want YOU, ISHIIIIMOOOORRRRIIIIII!!!!
The crowd roars.
DS: HE WANTS WHO?! IS HE CRAZY?!
DS: HE WANTS WHO?! IS HE CRAZY?!
SDS: DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?!
Badger: And I want it... at the Valentine's Brawl!
The crowd explodes yet again.
SDS: He's claiming a pay-per-view slot, now?
Badger: What's it gonna be? I'll be waiting. (walks off)
Petrov: Well, there you have it. The Honey Badger laying down a challenge for the Valentine's Brawl against Ishimori. With two weeks until the show, will the former Sumo champion accept? Darryl, Diogo, back to you.
Stadium
SDS: Talk about self-inflicted insurmountable odds.
DS: Speaking of self-inflicted odds...
SDS (sighs): Right. Sara Blood Jr takes on Mudir... That's next.
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