A high-energy, high-spirited violin and beat track plays and the crowd pops loudly. A very small, skinny man power walks down the ramp with a smile. He is cald in orange from his baseball cap to his shirt to his trunks and boots.
DS: Uh, security? I think a fan snuck over the barricade.
SDS: That's no fan, Darryl.
David Bekker: Making his way to the ring, from Alice Springs, Australia, standing 170 centimetres and weighing in at 73 kilos, Job R. Smith!
DS presses his lips together to stop himself from laughing.
SDS: He was a popular mainstay of Jeffrey Campbell's old promotion, Passion Project Wrestling, before it was bought and turned into PSW.
DS: What kind of clown show was Campbell running? How do you have the Madness and this guy in the same company? Other than food.
SDS: The industry is diverse, Diogo. We wouldn't be here otherwise.
Smith climbs the turnbuckle and throws up his hands; the crowd pops. He goes to another turnbuckle and does the same. He repeats this until he has touched all four corners, the reaction getting louder and louder each time.
DS: I just don't get it. Why is he here?
SDS: Apparently, our new Tectonic Champion, Dennis Zázrak, specifically asked for this match against Smith.
DS: Never mind, I'm on board.
SDS: That was quick.
A loud, angelic orchestra is heard as the entire arena goes black. Spotlights shine down on it, revealing the glowing white form of Dennis Zázrak, who stands with his arms spread, his head held high, the championship belt around his waist. The darkness recedes, as does the light, revealing his full, chiselled form.
David Bekker: Introducing the challengers. First, from the Little Carpathian Mountains in Western Slovakia, standing at a PERFECT 190 centimetres and weighing in at a PERFECT 112 Kilos, he is the NEW Groundbreaker, DENNIS ZÁZRAK!
Zázrak lowers his head, looking forward and smouldering. He walks down, occasionally stopping to pose and flex as the crowd boos.
SDS: Diogo, could I borrow your sunglasses? I think I'm going blind.
DS: And stop you from witnessing PERFECTION? Absolutely not.
SDS: Get a pillow for your knees and a napkin for your mouth.
DS: But look at him? Last Sunday, he was in a war with Seth and the monster, Kraken Khan. He got assaulted by his loser ex-partner and not only did he walk out as the new champ, but he did it perfectly! Look at him, not a hair out of place, not a scratch or bruise.
SDS: He snuck back into the ring and rolled up Khan after Seth did all the work. Then he ran away when Khan got back to his feet.
DS: Triple threat match. Smartest man always wins.
Zázrak wipes his feet and enters the ring, posing once more.
The lights finally come back on. Referee Dan Masters takes the title and gives it to a crewman at ringside before calling for the bell.
Smith walks up to the champion.
DS: Seriously, someone get that kid a sandwich.
SDS: It should tell you the kind of man Zázrak is to want this match.
DS: A fighting champion who generously grants opportunity.
SDS: Right... Just to clarify for our viewers, this is a non-title match.
Smith smiles and extends his hand.
SDS: Smith with a show of respect. We saw Johnny Cyclone try this earlier with Kruscher. Will Zázrak be more gracious?
Zázrak smirks and accepts.
DS: Of course. He's civilised.
SDS: I will give him that and... wait...
The two men shake hands...
and keep shaking...
and keep shaking...
Smith's smiles slowly goes away to be replaced by a look of confusion, then discomfort, then pain. A lot of pain.
SDS: Zázrak- Zázrak is squeezing Smith's hand! Come on!
DS: What do you expect? How dare you try to shake the Groundbreaker's hand with that puny thing?
Smith tries to pull away, but the champ doesn't let go. The smaller man falls to his knees, desperately trying to get away and then starts slapping Zázrak's hand
DS: He's tapping! Jobber Smith is tapping out!
SDS: That doesn't count!
Masters calls for the bell.
David Bekker: Here is your winner, by submission, the Groundbreaker, Dennis Zázrak
SDS: Are you kidding me?!
DS: Incredible. He's so perfect, he can win matches with a handshake.
SDS: This is pathetic.
The crowd boos viciously. Masters hands Zázrak his belt, and the latter holds it up before calling for a microphone.
Zázrak: Ladies and gentlemen... witness PERFECTION!
He spreads his arms and raises his head as the orchestral theme blasts through the arena. The lights go dead except for a single spotlight, shining down on him.
A deep, apocalyptic theme is suddenly heard overlayed with the sound of crashing waves. Zázrak goes wide-eyed and stares at the stage.
DS: Oh no!
The massive Kraken Khan, heavily tatted with a crustacean mask, marches down to the ring, his long, braided beard swaying with each step. His Persian Orange eyes are locked on the ring.
SDS: The former champion and first-ever champion, the malevolent Kraken Khan! Over 206 centimetres tall, nearly 129 kilos and incredibly pissed off. Zázrak, now would be a good time to run!
DS: He's not going to run, Darryl.
SDS: He ran on Sunday, which was the smartest thing he ever did.
Khan steps over the rope with a microphone in hand, staring into the new champion's soul. Zázrak does, in fact, not run away.
Khan (pointing, voice deep and growling): You... have something that belongs to me... boy!
Zázrak looks at his own body in confusion.
Khan (holds out his open free hand): And you will HAND IT to me, or I will personally hand... you head to your dear old dad, Martin...
Zázrak frowns.
SDS: Alright, hold on a second. That was uncalled for. Martin's Zázrak's a legend and has nothing to do with this.
Zázrak: Who... do you think you are, you ugly, old, masked freak?!
DS: Tell him, Champ!
Zázrak: You come down to Zázrak's ring, interrupt Zázrak's moment and threaten Zázrak? The Champion? The Groundbreaker?
Kraken: I threaten the coward who ran away like a thief in the night after STEALING my Tectonic Championship!
Zázrak: Zázrak stole nothing that wasn't already his. The spotlight? Check! The show? Check! The Tectonic Championship? Check, check and check! (Gets in Khan's face) And just so we're clear, fosíl...
Khan bears his teeth. Zázrak takes a big step backwards.
Zázrak: Zázrak did not run away from YOU at Ascension on Sunday. No, it was... a tactical retreat. Zázrak had already gotten what he came for, and he had no reason to engage in a meaningless street brawl like some-
Khan: SILENCE! You WILL give me back my title or I-
A loud set of trumpets blowing in lockstep with a rapid-fire boom bap beat. The camera lingers on the stage for a bit, but no one comes out.
DS: Uh oh!
SDS: That is the music of Seth! The third man in the Tectonic Triple Threat! He hit the GTS on Khan, only to get thrown out of the ring by Zázrak, who went on to pin the champion and win.
DS: Yeah, then Khan blamed and beat the crap out of him afterwards. So, who's he here for?
Seth, in his basketball-inspired gear, big square glasses and headphones, makes his way through the crowd. Khan shoves Zázrak out of the way, exits the ring and stands near the crowd barrier, staring Seth down.
SDS: We have a situation. Security needs to get down here and oh, thank God.
Brendan Steele and his men show up, blocking them and trying to send Seth back. Seth makes a running start, throwing off his glasses and headphones, and practically leaps over the guards onto Khan!
SDS: And the brawl's underway! Seth clearing 6 men to knock the monster to ground! And now he's pounding away!
DS: I thought this guy Seth was super chill!
SDS: Nothing like getting assaulted after a match to bring out the fire in somebody. Khan had to know this was coming, and look at Zázrak! He's laughing. He's loving this. Brendan Steele and his men, trying to restore order- OH GOD, LOOK OUT!
DS (dodging a flying security guard): Merda! Khan is throwing bodies everywhere! This monster can't be stopped!
Khan tosses Steele aside and charges at Seth, who is standing near a ringpost. The big Angolan gets down on the ground and drop toe holds the monster.
SDS: Khan face-first into the ringpost! The monster is down! The monster is down! And now Seth has turned his attention to the Groundbreaker!
Seth points at Zázrak and makes a belt motion over his waist. He then raises his hands as a new pair of glasses and a new set of headphones are thrown at him from... somewhere. He puts them both on in one swift motion and heads back into the crowd. Khan gets up, clutching his head, but decides to leave while shooting the champion a glare. Zázrak watches them both go, no longer amused.
SDS: Seth making his intentions clear. Kraken Khan demanding his title back. If Dennis Zázrak thought he'd have an easy time of it as Groundbreaker, he's got another thing coming.
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