The stage is lit with a neon purple colour. The sliding doors open, and Festa, still a little bandaged up, rolls forward into a cross-legged sitting position. The lights change to red. She lifts herself to a knee and backflips, landing in a superhero pose. A strobe effect of green, yellow, white, and red is created.
Shamoon: She's looking a lot better.
Briar Lane: On the way to the ring, from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, standing 5 feet 6 and weighing in at 129 pounds, LUISA FESTA!
She gets up and skips to the ring with a spaced-out look on her face. holding out her arms and waving them like a tubeman. The crowd cheers her on.
Dominga: She's on something. I just know it.
A.B.: She was just tested. They couldn't find anything.
Dominga: Look at her eyes! Last week, they were pink. This week, they're blue. She's Afro-Brazilian. That doesn't make any sense.
Shamoon: Ever hear of contact lenses?
Dominga: I worked with contacts for years. Those irises are real!
Festa does a shoulder stand on the apron, falls on her side and rolls into the ring, all the way to the centre, where she makes invisible snow angels, really slowly, while looking up at the ceiling with child-like wonder as if she can see the very stars themselves.
Dominga: Come on! What is this? She is clearly high!
Shamoon: Why are you so invested in this?
A.B.: Regardless of her... mental state, she is a dangerous grappler as Seraphina Dubois found out last week.
Shamoon: Yeah, that had to be one of the fastest tapouts I've ever seen.
A bopping pop track plays with some male vocalists singing about a woman of incredible beauty. The aforementioned Quebécois walk past the sliding doors like a runway model, holding up her arms and splaying the fingers in her free hands, while holding a mic in the other. She is not in her gear, but in an elegant gown with dark blue eye-shadow, red lips and long blonde hair down.
The crowd boos.
Dubois: Taisez-vous, paysans!
They boo even louder.
Dubois: That means, shut up!
Even louder now.
Dubois: SILENCE!
EVEN LOUDER BOOS!
She curls her lip and points at the ring, where Festa is now sitting cross-legged.
Dubois: I bet you feel so proud of yourself, you street-dancing MMA freak!
Festa points at herself in confusion.
Dubois: Yes, you! I gave you the honour and privilege of engaging moi in a good, clean wrestling classic, and how am I repaid? By almost getting my leg broken by that Brazilian... Spinjitsu.
A.B.: What?
Shamoon: I think she meant jiu-jitsu.
Dubois: A style of fighting that I, the super-talented "Socialite" Seraphina Dubois, am not skilled in.
A.B.: She walked into a match against without preparation? And is making that Festa's fault.
Dubois: There is a word for people like you: Bullies!
Shamoon: Is she serious?
Dubois: Which is why I when Madame Shabani offered me a rematch for tonight, I refused, because I refuse to reward a bully with additional access to their victims!
The crowd boos again.
Shamoon: What a load of crock! Festa was wrapped up like a mummy last week from the cage match at Ascension the day before, and she still lost. Now she's scared to face her again.
Dominga: And there's nothing wrong with that. You have to pick your battles.
Dubois: Instead, I advocated for a way to punish you for your bullying ways.
A.B.: What is she talking about?
Dubois: So, ladies and gentlemen, get on your feet and BOW to your Emperor!
She holds out her arms and claps as the grand imperial trumpets are heard and the sliding doors open.
A.B.: It's Talon! He's been reinstated.
Briar Lane: And the opponent! From Ajaccio, Corsica, France, standing 6 feet 2 and weighing in at 251 pounds, EMPEROR TALON!
Talon, who comes out proudly holding up a large French flag while wearing a golden eagle helmet and a feathered cape of the same colour over his power singlet. He holds out his arm, which Dubois grabs before walking down the ramp together. Festa gets up.
A.B.: The man who tried to stop the Fight Pit's own Dennis Zázrak from becoming the Tectonic Champion and caught a suspension for it, which led to him missing our first episode.
Dominga: Tried and FAILED, you mean! (stares at the sky with her hands clasped together) But Zázrak is perfection! (starts crying) Why can't I go to the Fight Pit?
Shamoon: Considering how that show ended, you should be grateful you're not.
Talon kisses Dubois, who helps him take off his helmet and cape. He then climbs the steps to plant his flag in the ringpost and wipes his feet on the apron before entering the ring. He immediately makes it a point to get right in Festa's space, almost smothering against the corner before the bell even rings.
A.B.: All that talk about bullying, and look at this?
Dominga: Well, yeah! It's not fun to be at a disadvantage, is it?
Referee Atoye Bonds has to warn him to back off before ringing the bell.
Festa immediately charges and attempts to slide between Talon's legs. The Frenchman grabs her by the hair before she makes it all the way through and shakes his head with a smile.
Dominga: Not fast enough, Festa!
Talon then throws Festa all the way up.
A.B.: Talon with a show of strength- HURRICANRANA BY FESTA! PINFALL! Kickout by Talon!
Shamoon: That was close.
A.B.: Chase is on. Festa ducks under a Clothesline. Springboard Crossbody. Caught! Backbreaker! A second Backbreaker! A third Backbreaker! And just like that, Talon is in control.
Talon wipes his hands, stands up and plants his foot on Festa's chest while flexing his huge arms. Dubois is bouncing on the outside, cheering. The crowd is booing. Bonds is counting.
A.B.: Festa gets the shoulder up. A weak pin attempt by Talon.
Dominga: It wasn't a pin attempt. He was just showing everybody how easy this is.
A.B.: Then he needs to end the match. If there's any wrestler you don't want to waste time against- Leglock applied! Festa with an Inverted Knee Bar!
Shamoon: Talon's still standing!
Dominga: The ultimate BJJ counter! He's going for a walk while she's trying to "submit" him, it's hilarious!
Talon calmly grabs the top rope, forcing Festa to release the hold and try to crawl away to create distance. She doesn't get far, as he grabs her leg, but she mule kicks him in the face with the other one. She then gets up and jumps onto his back.
A.B.: And now a Sleeper Hold by Festa!
Dominga: And Talon is laughing at her.
Talon grabs Festa by the head and leans forward to throw her off him. However...
A.B.: STUNNER! Festa using the momentum for a Stunner! This woman is incredible! Cover. Talon kicks out!
In doing so, he sends her flying out onto the apron.
Dominga: With AUTHORITY!
Shamoon: Almost everything Festa has tried has either failed or been countered. Talon's barely done anything.
A.B.: She's caught him a few times and has thus far gotten the pinning predicament twice. What's this now?
Talon sits up, but starts rubbing his eye and complaining.
Shamoon: Is he seriously whining about some dust in his eye? Just wipe your eye and get up.
A.B.: He's giving Festa time to recover.
Festa tries a springboard, but Dubois runs by and grabs her ankle and pulls her down face-first on the apron. She then slaps the
A.B.: Oh, come on!
Dubois slaps the apron twice, at which point Talon realises that he actually doesn't have anything in his eye after all and gets out of the ring.
Dominga: ¡Brillante!
Shamoon: So, now he's cheating to beat up a woman half his size?
Dominga: She humiliated his woman last week. This is revenge. What I wouldn't give for a man like that in my life.
A.B.: Last week, you called him a failure.
Dominga: Compared to Dennis Zázrak, but Dennis Zázrak isn't on this show, (starts crying again) unfortunately.
A.B.: Talon with a Back Suplex. Festa dropped spine-first on the apron.
Talon holds Festa down and savagely chops her stomach with a loud *SMACK*! Festa screams. He does it again and again and again.
Dubois: How does it feel, Festa?! How does it feel?
Shamoon: Ref, do something!
Dominga: All she can do is count him out while he's on the outside.
A.B.: Atoye Bonds with a count of 5. Talon pushing Festa back inside, then pulling her back out again, wisely breaking the count. You can feel how you want, but that is a clever use of the rules, even if it's just to torture his opponent. And again with Back Suplex on the apron.
Dominga: You know, this is actually pretty clever on Talon's part. One of his signature moves is the Couper les Ailes. The more damage she takes to her back, the more painful it's going to be when he locks it in.
A.B.: Talon going for another Back Suplex! Punch to the eye by Festa!
Dominga: That's not fair!
Shamoon: Now, he doesn't have to fake anymore.
Festa crawls into the ring while Talon stumbles about.
Dubois: Talon, snap out of it!
Talon (rounds on her): She hit me in the eye!
Dubois (flicks her hand): Get over it, you-
A.B.: SUICIDE DIVE BY FESTA! Taking out both Francophones.
Dominga: Talon's back on his feet, though. She just can't keep this man down.
Talon chases Festa around the ring while Atoye Bonds keeps counting. He's about to catch up to her when they come back around to Dubois, who has gotten to her feet. Festa sidesteps just quick enough for the big Frenchman to bowl his lover over. Festa then slides into the ring while Talon panics.
A.B.: Talon just turned Dubois inside out!
Shamoon: That's the kind of man you want, Dominga?
Dominga: It was an accident!
Bonds: 5!
Talon (yelling at Dubois): What are you doing?!
Shamoon: So why's he blaming her?
Dominga: She got in his way while he's trying to work.
Bonds: 6!
Shamoon: She was standing up!
Talon shakes his head and helps Dubois up.
Dubois (shoves him): Espèce d'imbécile ! Pourquoi ne fais-tu pas attention à où tu vas?!
Bonds: 7!
Talon: Pourquoi n'as-tu pas bougé ton chemin?!
Dubois: I was on the floor, stupid!
Realising this, the Emperor tries to get back in the ring, but Dubois grabs him and spins him around.
Dubois: Ne détourne pas le regard quand je te parle!
Bonds: 8!
A.B.: Talon's going to get counted out here.
Dominga: Get back in the ring, stupido!
Talon (pointing menacingly at Dubois): WATCH YOURSELF, WOMAN! Ou bien!
Shamoon (to Dominga): Still the kind of man you want?
Dubois backs off slightly: Sinon, quoi?
Bonds (puts her head between the ropes and screams): NINE!
Dubois (panicking): Get back in the ring! GET BACK IN THE RING!
A.B.: Talon breaks count!
Festa runs the ropes, leaps and spins around for her signature Butt Attack.
A.B.: Volleyball by Festa- NO! Caught! German Suplex by Talon! That may have been her one chance, and now Talon going up top for that Diving Headbutt: Baiser de la Mort, the Kiss of Death!
Shamoon: This might be a mistake.
Talon leaps off the turnbuckle, soars like an Eagle and misses.
A.B.: Nobody home!
Shamoon: Called it!
And now Festa with a Triangle Choke!
Shamoon: The instincts of this woman are insane.
Talon gets his feet under him and deadlifts Festa off the mat.
Dominga: It doesn't matter. Talon is too big and too strong!
A.B.: POWERBOMB BY TALON!
Talon shakes his head and then grabs Festa's ankles, before fully hooking each of her legs in one of his arms.
Dominga: The fun and games are over.
Talon turns Dubois over, stepping over her in the process and sits down, fully applying the Boston Crab.
A.B.: Couper les Ailes locked in! Centre of the ring!
Dominga: That is 250+ pounds on her back! If Festa doesn't want to lose her ability to walk, she'd better tap out right now!
Festa is screaming and clawing at the mat. Dubois is laughing and making tap-out motions on the outside.
Bonds: Festa! Festa, do you want to quit?
Festa: No!
Bonds: Do you want to give up?
Festa: NO!
Bonds: Are you sure? Are you SURE you don't want to quit?
Festa: Ayee....
Talon leans back, applying even pressure.
Shamoon: He's going to break her in half! Just tap out, Luisa! You did your best.
Festa's hand slowly rises, but then she grits her teeth, closes her eyes and puts both hands on her face.
Dominga: She's just delaying the inevitable and screwing up her future! If she weren't high out of her mind, she'd be able to think clearly!
Festa pulls her hand off her face and slides them behind Talon's feet, at which point her face falls flat on the mat.
A.B.: I think Festa's passed out!
Bonds: Festa, answer me! If you don't answer me, I will stop the match! Festa-
Suddenly, the Frenchman releases the hold, stands up and throws up his hands in celebration.
Dominga: Wait, what?!
A.B.: Talon just let go of the hold, but why?
Talon gets on the turnbuckle, still celebrating while Festa lies face down on the mat, slowly putting her hand on her back. Bonds is confused. Dubois is confused on the outside. The crowd is confused, though some are booing.
Shamoon: What is happening right now?
Talon looks around in confusion: Where's my music? Play my music!
A.B.: The bell hasn't rung. I don't know what he's doing.
Talon hops down and walks over to Bonds, offering her his arm and demanding she raise it.
Bonds: The match isn't over.
Talon: What are you talking about? She tapped.
Shamoon: Did he just say Festa tapped?
A.B.: When?
Dominga: She was definitely out, though. All he had to do was wait.
A.B.: But he's insisted that she tapped out. Did either of you see or hear anything?
Dominga: No.
As Talon and the ref argue. Dubois hops on the apron: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT?!
Bonds (to Dubois): Hey, get down!
Talon (to both): She tapped out!
Bonds (to Talon): No, she didn't!
Dubois: Espèce d'imbécile! All you had to do was keep holding on? I asked you to do ONE THING!
Shamoon: Festa's back on her feet!
Talon: I am TELLING YOU, both of YOU! She TAPPED! (starts slapping his arm) I felt it!
Bonds: Felt. It. WHERE?!
Festa dropkicks Talon in the back, sending him into Dubois, who gets sent flying face-first into the barricade.
Shamoon: That's twice now!
Dominga: It wasn't his fault!
Talon is frustrated, but then gets caught by a Jumping Reverse Bulldog by Festa.
A.B.: Talon taken down! Festa to the outside!
Dominga: What is even happening right now?
A.B.: Festa with a Springboard Elbow Drop!
Shamoon: The height of that! The hangtime! Point of the elbow right in Talon's heart.
A.B.: Cover!
Bonds: 1! 2! 3! Ring the bell!
The bell rings, seemingly louder than usual, but not as loud as the cheering crowd. Festa quickly rolls out of the ring as HER music plays.
Briar Lane: Here is your winner, LUISA FESTA!
A.B.: An incredible upset by the Brazilian.
Shamoon: Yeah, but I'm just really confused. Talon had the match won, and then he literally let it go. Like what?
A.B.: It really was an amateurish mistake.
Dominga: Zázrak dumping him makes more and more sense every week. Not that Zázrak is ever wrong about anything, of course. He is Perfection! ... You think if I asked, I could get double-duty or a transfer?
A.B.: Will you stop?
Talon, clutching his chest, sits up and grabs Bonds's pants.
Bonds: What the hell are you doing?
Talon: I won that match! She tapped!
Shamoon: Is he still on this?
Bonds: No, she didn't!
Talon: Yes, she did! (slaps ankle) Right here!
Bonds's eyes go wide.
A.B.: Talon is saying he felt a tap on his ankle, but the ref didn't see it.
Dominga: What is he talking about? There was no tap. She was out cold.
Shamoon: Wait, a minute! Can we get a replay? Look at the movement of her hands. I think Festa did a Brazilian Tap!
A.B.: A what?
Dominga: Stop making up words, Shamoon!
Shamoon: A real thing. You subtly tap on your opponent and trick them into letting you go.
Dominga: But how did Bonds miss that?
Shamoon: Festa dropped her face. We all thought she passed out, including the ref.
A.B.: That is... an INSANE gamble!
Dominga: She cheated!
Shamoon: Talon and Dubois cheated first.
Dominga: Two wrongs don't make a right!
A.B.: It still makes Talon look like a complete idiot, but hats off to Festa for such a crafty escape!
Festa is walking backwards up the ramp, clutching her sore back. Her eyes, now copper brown, have an intense, sober focus that was previously absent.
Dominga: Look at her. Look how proud she is!
A.B.: She damn well better be. That was a well-earned victory!
Dominga: Wait, why are her eyes different?
Festa puts her hands back on her face, throws her head back and spreads her arms wide and loose. She is back in her trance, doing her tubeman dance.
Dominga: Did you see that? They're blue again! She sniffed something! There's something in her gloves! Bonds, get her back in there! Sharma! Shabani! Somebody test her! Test those gloves!
Shamoon: Will you just let it go, already? Maybe she's just zany.
Dominga: She's on something! I know it!
A.B.: What she is is skilled, resilient, incredibly athletic, intelligent, and unpredictable. This young lady is going places. Just a treat to watch!
Festa disappears behind the sliding doors. Talon throws a tantrum in the ring, cursing and kicking the ropes as her music fades. Bonds watches him, looking somewhat guilty. The crowd chants "YOU F-ED UP!" at her.
Talon: I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU SHE TAPPED! I SHOULD BE THE WINNER!
Bonds: I'm sorry, I didn't see it!
Talon: Reverse the decision! Reverse it now!
Bonds: I can't do that.
Talon grabs her by the shirt and lifts her up: YOU INCOMPETENT COW!
The crowd boos.
A.B.: Talon needs to be careful here! He just came back from suspension!
Dominga: She screwed him over! She has this coming?
Shamoon: Just the kind of man you want, huh?
A.B.: Dubois is up. Hopefully, she can de-escalate this situation.
Dubois rolls into the ring. Talon notices and drops Bonds, who escapes from the ring and sprints up the ramp. Talon puts a hand on Dubois's shoulder and gets slapped HARD!
Crowd: OH!
Dominga: Ouch!
A.B.: Never mind.
Shamoon: Yikes! Look at the bump on her forehead. I think she got it from hitting the barricade.
Dubois (pointing at the knot): Look at this! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID?! Espèce de minable ! Espèce d'incompétent ! Tu n'as même pas réussi à gagner le match, et tu m'as fait honte! You ruined my face!
Talon (rubbing his face and roaring): IT WAS YOUR FAULT!
Dubois: MY FAULT?!
Talon: WHO TOLD YOU TO STAND ON THE APRON? YOU COST ME THE MATCH!
Dubois: YOU LET GO OF A SUBMISSION!
Talon: I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION IF YOU DIDN'T LOSE LAST WEEK! ESPÈCE DE FEMME INUTILE ET FAIBLE!
A.B.: Now may be a good time to cut to commercial.
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