The crowd watches with bated breath as the Outlaw and the Owl continue to size each other up.
Shamoon: Somebody do something!
Eventually, Athiambo breaks eye contact to look down at Chen, who is just now beginning to stir. She then grabs both Chen's hands and starts pulling her to the edge of the ring.
Dominga: What is she doing?
Athiambo shoots Moore one last glare before climbing out of the ring to drag Chen out and onto her shoulders.
A.B.: Athiambo... Athiambo is leaving- she's leaving with Chen!
Shamoon: HEY!
A.B.: Athiambo is leaving with Zadie Chen on her shoulders!
Shamoon: She's kidnapping her!
Dominga: Hey, can we get some security out here!
Athiambo carries Chen to the edge of the field where a car is parked. She opens the back door and throws Chen in. Moore watches with a raised eyebrow.
Atoye Bonds (waving at the tunnel): SECURITY! WE NEED HELP!
Shamoon: Seriously, someone get out here!
A growling female voice yells “Faavalevale!” and the crowd comes completely unglued.
A.B.: Oh no! NO!
A deep male voice yells “Porangi!” then an even deeper male voice roars “Vale!” All three then together scream, "MADNESS!" before a deep bass guitar and tribal drums are heard.
Dominga: AAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Shamoon: ANYONE ELSE! ANYONE ELSE!
Bonds' eyes nearly pop out of her skull. Moore looks stunned as well.
The Jumbotron shows chains swinging from side to side.
A.B.: The Madness! The Madness are here! Listen to this place!
Athiambo climbs into the driver's seat of her car and starts the engine as Lulu Asovale comes out first, her beaded braids covering her eyes. Hunapo Henare and Kaivao Manu flank her, rolling shoulders and frothing at the mouth, respectively. They stop to take in the sound. It is the loudest the crowd has been all night.
A.B.: Atoye Bonds has just left the ring.
Shamoon: Athiambo's leaving the arena. Zadie Chen's in that car.
Dominga: And Jessie Moore is still in the ring, alone!
A.B.: 12,000 people, on their feet! They are welcoming the Madness! Welcome the destruction. The chaos!
Dominga: Moore is still in the ring!
Shamoon: Zadie Chen just got kidnapped. Can we get some kind of word on that?
Asovale stretches out her arms and leads her "brothers" down to the ring, where the Outlaw remains rooted, still holding her own injured one. The Samoan Sicko looks hungrily at the Utah native, signalling for the other two to surround the ring.
Moore looks from Manu to Henare, back to Manu, then to Asovale as each of them climbs onto the apron. Asovale smiles wide, preparing to enter the ring.
Dominga: MOORE HAS A GUN! SHE'S GOT A GUN!
Shamoon: I thought you said it was a starter's pistol, not a real gun?
Dominga: First rule of firearm safety: EVERY GUN IS A REAL GUN!
Moore, her right arm hanging and he left hand raised and clutching her pistol, stares wide-eyed at Lulu, daring her or Manu or Henare to enter the ring. They do it anyway, but she rolls out of the ring before they can get to her, not that they were trying all that hard.
A.B.: Moore getting out of dodge! The Madness take the ring!
Asovale watches the Outlaw back away from the ring to tunnel while keeping her pistol raised and her head on a swivel. A camera catches the taillights of Athiambo's car before it disappears into the night.
Shamoon: Seriously, can someone do something about that? Am I talking to myself here?
Asovale turns away from the retreating Moore and demands a microphone.
A.B.: After what happened on Friday, I didn't think we'd see them tonight.
Asovale (pacing around, throwing her head back): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The roar of approval is even louder.
Dominga: ¡Caramba! The ground is shaking. 12K people can't do this.
Asovale (stops in the middle of the ring): ... SUI MAI LE MAAAAAAAAADHOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUSSE!!!
The roar is louder still.
Dominga: How are they still going?
Asovale (playing with her hair): Last Fri, we headed down to the Fight Pit for a squiz. Reckoned we'd meet the Tag Team Champs, Pandemonium...
The crowd boos.
Asovale:... and get right up in their faces! And guess what? We got... chucked out.
The crowd boos again.
Henare grits his teeth in anger. Manu's nostrils flare.
Shamoon: "Chucked out"? They got teleported into traffic. Speaking of which, ARE WE PLANNING TO SEND SOMEONE AFTER ATHIAMBO OR WHAT?!
Asovale: Now, wasn't the first time we've been chucked out. But we bloody well aren't gonna STAY out!
The crowd cheers.
Asovale (looks right into the camera): Tình Nhân, Mother of Darkness, whatever you call yourself. You gave us a little message on Friday, so here's one for you. When you and your big baby boys, Mộng Dữ and Hổn Loạn, are done playing with those Wallace lads...
All three lean in: WE. WANT. NEXT!
The crowd pops yet.
A.B.: An emphatic challenge.
Dominga: I really want to see this match. Madness vs Pandemonium. WHAT A COLLISION!
Shamoon: Yeah, real exciting. Now can we ple-
Woman's Voice (whispers): Tom... Dick... and Harry.
Shamoon: What? NO!
Dominga: Oh my God...
A.B.: COVER YOUR EARS
A sleazy rock-n-roll track plays on the speakers. It's not particularly bad.
Dominga: Huh.
A.B.: I guess they finally changed it. Thank God.
Shamoon: But why are they here?
A.B.: Well, the Madness jumped them right before their confrontations with Team Wallace and eventually Pandemonium. Retaliation should have been expected.
Out through the stage walk the rockstars: "Top Man" Tom Presley in his top hat and gothic make-up, "Big" Dick Jagger, the 300-pounder with his bald head and goatee, and the "Hunkasaurus" Harry Hendrix with his spiky blond hair and sunglasses, from the Friday Night Fight Pit. They all wear their signature vests and tassled pants, miming a keytar, drums and air guitar respectively. The Polynesians, in the ring and in the crowd, look at them with confusion.
Eventually the music fades, the "concert" stops and the trio make their way to the ring with mics in hand.
Hendrix: Oi! Who the bloody 'ell do you three think you are!? First, you go muggin' us on OUR brand, and now you're tryin' to skip the queue for a go at the tag team titles?
Jagger: D'you s'pose we'd just let that go? 'Cos we ain't!
The crowd in Apia boos the three Englishmen loudly.
Presley (pulls out a piece of paper): Now, unlike you lot on Friday, we've got it all down in black and white, dated and stamped to be 'ere tonight. (looks at the crowd) 'Cause we ain't no SAVAGES!
The boos become deafening. Asovale lowers her head and narrows her eyes.
Shamoon: Seriously?
A.B.: Come on!
Dominga: Yeah... I'm not even going to say anything.
Presley: We 'ave come to this tip for one reason: to get our pound o' flesh.
Jagger: And lookin' at you three, especially you porker (looking at Manu), you've got plenty o' meat to spare.
The Tongan Terror vibrates with rage at being called "porker". The crowd wants blood.
A.B.: With every word, these men are digging their graves.
The final word comes from the Maori Menace, who takes the microphone from Asovale.
Henare: YOU'RE DEAD!!!
Naturally, the rockstars will not let him have the final word.
Hendrix: Nah, geezer. You are! Let's get 'em, lads!
The sound of mics hitting the grass is heard on the speakers.
A.B.: And here come Tom, Dick & Harry and the Madness are right there to meet them.
Shamoon: These guys showed up to Samoa, pissed on the crowd, pissed OFF the Madness, and now they're storming the ring with Madness still in it? Are they crazy? Have they taken leave of their senses?
Dominga: Clearly! And now Lulu and her boys are making them wish they were never born!
Asovale assaults Hendrix in one corner, Manu mauls Jagger in the opposite corner, and Henare hurls Presley from one adjacent corner all the way to the other. All the while the crowd calls for more.
After smashing Hendrix's face into the turnbuckle several times, Asovale picks him up for a Pump Handle Half Nelson Driver.
A.B.: Broken Chains by Asovale!
Henare puts Presley's head between his legs and picks him up for a Cradle Belly to Back Inverted Mat Slam.
A.B.: Neutraliser by Henare!
Jagger starts putting up a fight, driving Manu back with a right hand after right hand. Big Dick then runs to the rope, only for Manu to catch him with a-
A.B.: Samoan Drop!
Shamoon: In Samoa!
Dominga: By a Tongan! You think someone might have a problem with that?
A.B.: I dare them to voice it!
The Madness then surround the bald man.
Asovale (pulling her hair): Pick him up! PICK HIM UP, RIGHT NOW!
Henare and Manu force Jagger to his feet and drape his arms over their shoulders. They then lift him with a belly-to-back hold and place his legs on Asovale's shoulders.
A.B.: TRIPLE POWERBOMB! Dick Jagger might be broken in half!
Domiga: They're not done yet! They've got Hendrix and Presley!
Shamoon: Okay, these guys are a-holes, but I think they've had enough.
Henare has Hendrix by the hair, and Manu has Presley. They proceed to raise their left and right hands, respectively, sticking out ther their thumbs in preparation for the Spikes.
Asovale (holds out her hands): WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
Shamoon: Now, what?
Asovale smiles and holds up her index finger, raising it as high as she can.
Dominga: Wow!
Manu and Henare nod and follow suit with their free hands, putting their 1s to the sky. The crowd erupts yet again in recognition.
A.B.: The Madness with a little tribute to one of the most famous families these islands ever produced.
Lulu then curls her index finger back in before sticking out her thumb. She holds it up before bringing it down, at which point Manu and Henare stick out their own thumbs once more, roar and deliver the-
A.B.: Samoan Spikes!
Dominga: By a Tongan and a Maori.
Shamoon: I don't think this crowd cares!
Crowd: MADNESS! MADNESS! MADNESS! MADNESS! MADNESS! MADNESS!
Asovale: Come on, lads. Let's get out of here.
Manu and Henare step over the wheezing, coughing and bleeding rockstars and reach the ropes, only for Asovale to grab both their arms.
Asovale: Hold up, there's one more thing. We're missin' somethin'! (looks at Tom, Dick & Harry) Stack 'em up, mates!
Shamoon: Stack them up? Stack them up for what?
A.B.: You know exactly what!
Presley is dragged on top of Jagger, and Hendrix is dragged on top of Presley.
Asovale (shoves Manu): MANUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Henare (points at a turnbuckle): FLYYYYYYY!!!!!
Shamoon: OH NO!
Dominga: OH YES!
A.B.: Kaivao Manu, to the top turnbuckle! This man weighs 350 pounds!
Dominga: DO IT! SEND THEM BACK TO THE FIGHT PIT!
The crowd screams in awe and terror as he reaches the top and leaps backwards off it.
A.B.: MANUSAULT! MANUSAULT! MANUSAULT ONTO TOM, DICK & HARRY!
The deep bass guitar and tribal drums return. Manu hops to his feet, headbanging to the beat. Henare howls like a wolf. Asovale spreads her arms. The Apia crowd continues to cheer.
Shamoon: Are these animals finally satisfied?
A.B.: I think so.
Dominga: You know, I hate to say it, but Chakir was right. Fighting the Madness in Samoa is suicide.
A.B.: Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen. It's almost time for our main event.
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