Lightning strikes the stage before a high-energy 130 BPM rock track blasts through the speakers.
DS: AAAAAH! What the hell?!
The two big screens display an endless looping clip of a tornado. Johnny Cyclone walks, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck while clenching his white-gloved fists.
David Bekker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: One fall!
Cyclone starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, his freeform dreadlocks shaking every which way.
David Bekker: Introducing first, from Montgomery, Alabama, in the United States of America, standing 2 metres tall and weighing in at 115 kilos, JOHNNY CYCLONE!
Cyclone leaps into the air and comes crashing down, summoning a huge explosion of pyro. He marches down to the ring, slapping some hands with the fans.
SDS: An incredible young athlete is the 23-year-old Johnny Cyclone. A former D1 football player in college-
DS: He means actual football, people! The beautiful game. Not that rugby ripoff the Americans play with padding and grab ass.
SDS: -he was known for his speed, strength and versatility, but somewhere along the line, he decided to make the jump to professional wrestling, following in the footsteps of his grandfather, get this, Oga Ajasco, the legendary Nigerian power wrestler who only ever suffered one loss in his long career. That one loss came in 1994 at the hands of the late, great Frankie "the Workhorse" Fredo.
Cyclone slides into the ring and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, throwing his fist into the air.
DS: I still can't believe it, man. A lot of people say there's no "Psycho Style" without that match. And the Williamses signing this kid, knowing he's linked to that by blood? That is messed up, but you know what? It seems like he's got tragedy in his DNA, because he went out there and pissed off the champion, and now he's in there with Kruscher as his first match? This is gonna be a mauling, Darryl.
Deep, booming trumpets play. Kruscher marches out, his expression as cold and hard as his wide, muscular frame. The crowd reaction is mixed; some boo, some cheer, but no one is silent.
David Bekker: And the opponent, from Moscow, Russia, standing 196 centimetres and weighing in at 132 kilos, KRUSCHER!
SDS: He is the Moscow Machine and the man who many believe should be the World Dominion Champion.
DS: There's no should be about it, Darryl! At Super Fight, he ran through FIVE GUYS in a gauntlet match. He has the title won, but then they swerved him and us. Don't get me wrong, Grizzly's a great champ, but he wasn't advertised for the card. He came out, and Kruscher was half-dead. Then we get to the draft, Campbell, the clown, instead of making Kruscher the no. 1 contender, puts him in that joke of a match against Montani, and Montani cheats to win, and HE goes to Ascension. I'm not complaining about cheating, mind you, but Kruscher shouldn't have been put in that spot. He didn't deserve that, and Grizzly deserved a real challenger. And he definitely shouldn't have to face that punk Montani twice.
SDS: Are you done? Look, there's nothing that can be done about those two instances, as unfortunate as they may be. Now's his chance to force his way back into the conversation.
As Kruscher enters the ring, Cyclone smiles, pulls off his glove and extends a hand.
SDS: Cyclone with a show of respect. Always a good start.
The Russian looks insulted and slaps his hand away.
SDS: Oh, come on!
DS: Haha! I love it. He doesn't know where that hand has been! Trying to shake hands like you're somebody.
Cyclone's smile immediately vanishes. He regloves his hand and lowers it.
SDS: I don't think young Cyclone took kindly to that.
Head Referee "Big Joe" Wilson, who doesn't look all that big, stands between them, keeping them separate before he rings the bell.
DS: Then do something about it, kid!
The two men immediately lock up, at which point Cyclone's much leaner physique is even more apparent. The further emphasis comes when Kruscher shoves him to the mat.
Crowd: OH!
SDS: Kruscher winning the test of strength!
DS: You see what I mean? All that big talk, and he gets shoved like the small boy he is.
SDS: He's bigger than both of us, Darryl. He's anything but small.
DS: Doesn't matter when you're in there with a MAN like Kruscher!
Kruscher rolls his shoulders while looking down his nose at Cyclone, who quickly gets up and re-engages.
DS: He's really trying again? Stubborn kid.
Cyclone quickly transitions to a headlock. Kruscher pushes him to the ropes and shoves him off. Cyclone uses the momentum to get a running start.
SDS: Cyclone running the ropes. Kruscher missing wildly with a clothesline. Look at the speed of- OH!
Crowd: OH!
DS: What?!
SDS: Cyclone with a shoulder block, knocking the Russian off his feet!
Kruscher, now on the mat, is bewildered. Cyclone looks down at him, rolling his shoulder.
DS: It... It was a lucky shot.
SDS: Mass times acceleration, my friend. That. Is. Force!
Kruscher narrows his eyes, slowly stands up and stares the Black man down.
A loud *SMACK* is heard, and Cyclone is sent stumbling into the ropes.
SDS: Krsucher with a slap to the face!
DS: That's what you get!
Another loud *SMACK* and Kruscher is sent stumbling, though not as far.
DS: Droga!
SDS: Cyclone with one in kind! He will not be disrespected!
Cyclone (gets close and yells): What now, huh?!
SDS: Cyclone talking smack! Kruscher with a headbutt!
DS: That's what!
SDS: Double-leg takedown! Kruscher with those hammer-like fists raining down! And now an armbar! Cyclone trying to block! Roll-up!
Wilson: 1... 2...
SDS: Krusher kicks out! Both men back on their feet! Cyclone with a big boot. Kruscher catches it! Over/under lock! POLISH THROW by Kruscher! Pinfall attempt! Kick out by Cyclone! And now look at these elbows to the face. He is trying to hurt this young man.
DS: As he should! You don't try to take another man's spot and get away with it!
SDS: Headlock applied on the ground! Squeezing the neck and holding Cyclone down with all 130 kilos.
DS: That's the danger with Kruscher. You can't beat him in power, and you can't beat him on the mat.
SDS: Well, Cyclone has shown some technical skill, but his one true advantage has been neutralised. That speed we saw earlier. If Cyclone can't create some distance, he may never get the upper hand.
Krusher continues to squeeze, with Cyclone starting to fade. Wilson repeatedly asks if he wants to quit, but he refuses. Or at least tries to.
SDS: Look at this. Krusher like a python. Every time Cyclone exhales, he squeezes tighter, making sure that he can breathe in.
DS: Come on, kid! Don't be stupid. You put up a decent fight. You've got your whole career ahead of you. Tap out already.
Cyclone clenches his fist and closes his eyes, he then slowly pushes up, but Kruscher brings him down.
SDS: Cyclone still trying to fight, but Kruscher too big and strong, and positioning himself perfectly.
Cyclone tries again and is shut down again. Kruscher squeezes tighter. The Alabaman growls like a wild beast and tries a third time, slowly, but surely forcing both men to a standing position.
SDS: Look at this! Cyclone back to his feet.
Krusher transitions to a standing sleeper.
DS: Doesn't mean anything.
Cyclone shifts and twists and grabs Krusher's waist. And then, with a roar, he picks him up.
SDS: Back suplex by Cyclone!
DS: Wow!
Kruscher tries to get another choke in, but Cyclone rolls out of his reach.
SDS: Great ring awareness from Cyclone. This young man has been nothing short of impressive.
Both men get to their feet and Kruscher charges.
SDS: Spinebuster! Cyclone slamming the big Russian down with authority! And now, he's running the ropes.
DS: How is he moving that fast?
SDS: He's been clocked at 37 kilometres per hour, and we're seeing it here with a SPEAR! He calls that the Speeding Bullet! An ode to his love of comic books.
DS: Bullet? Try buzzsaw! He almost cut Kruscher clean in half! I take back everything I said- Now, what's he doing?
Cyclone pulls down the straps of his singlet and roars. The crowd goes nuts as he gets Kruscher off the mat and puts the Russian's head between his legs.
DS: Is he going to powerbomb him? There's no way- HE IS!
SDS: Cyclone with Kruscher up and now-
DS: IS HE SPINNING?! HE'S SPINNING, DARRYL!
SDS: SPIRAL POWERBOMB BY CYCLONE! He calls that the Cyclone Hammer and he brought it down hard!
Wilson: 1! 2! 3!
The crowd cheers.
SDS: Johnny Cyclone with a huge win to kick off the year!
Cyclone breathes heavily and gets helped to his feet by Wilson, who raises his hand. Kruscher clutches his ribs and head on the mat, crawling out of the ring and walking away up the ramp.
SDS: So what's the excuse this time, Diogo?
DS: No excuses, whatsoever, Darryl! That was clean as a whistle. I take back everything I said. This Cyclone kid is the future. I just wish he were smart enough not to pick a fight with the champ.
SDS: That's assuming Grizzly is still the champ by the end of the night.
DS: Darryl, please be serious.
Cyclone climbs the turnbuckle and throws his fist in the air once more.
No comments:
Post a Comment