The Track Queens and JabbarTV are being helped out of the ring after the assault.
Dominga: Man, that was great. I can't believe I wanted to leave.
Shamoon: How can you praise that?
Dominga: Like this, "Man, that was great!"
A.B.: Well, hopefully the Queens and the Jabbars haven't suffered any lasting damage. But let's take you back to last night. As I said, Lulu Asovale was in a cage match to crown the first-ever Bloodbath Champion. A match where she seemed unstoppable. So much so that it took the combined efforts of two men to bring her down: Ethan Stewart and the yung upstart who somehow walked out of Sambuca City with the gold.
Dominga: I still call that a fluke.
Shamoon: He won, get over it.
A.B.: We now turn to our broadcast colleague, Chloe Davis.
Backstage
A short Caucasian woman in a red dress and her hair dyed purple appears on camera, mic in hand.
Davis: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the inaugural Crimson King, Roger Evans.
Evans walks into view with a small scar on his forehead. The crowd boos him.
Davis: Roger, once again, congratulations on a successful debut.
Evans: Thanks, Dudette.
Davis: It was a chaotic four-way match inside a steel cage, in which you took the worst beating. Tell me, what was driving you in the end?
Evans: Chloe, I'm all about, like, living in the moment. Like, don't think, just do.
A.B.: Clearly.
Evans: And in that moment, I saw, like, a chance to win, so I took it. That's all there is to it.
Davis: Now, some take issue with a newcomer being granted a title shot. When Aazif Shamoon asked you about it, you seemed upset.
Evans (confused): I did?
Davis: Yes, you stood in silence, frowning for two full minutes.
Evans (Rubbing back of neck): Oh, that? No, no, dudette, I just totally zoned out.
Dominga: Oh for-
Davis: Are you sure? It really looked like the question had gotten under your skin.
Evans: Nope, I just, like, totally lost my train of thought. Probably, coz I was losing a lot of blood.
Davis (shrugs): If you say so. So, after that gruelling match last night, how have you been preparing for your title defence tonight?
Evans: My what?
Davis: You do know that the inaugural Bloodbath Champion is meant to defend the title every week, right?
Evans (chuckles nervously): Of course, I-I was just testing you, dudette.
Davis: So then you also know that the match type and stipulations are of the challenger's choosing (Evans' mouth hangs open), so long as they fall under a no-DQ format?
Evans: No, I didn't know that. At all.
Davis (frowns): It was in the contract you signed in order to participate in the cage match at Ascension.
Evans (incredulous): Where?!
Someone hands him a clipboard with the contract on it. He takes off his whiteout sunglasses and reads it. He looks up, then slowly puts his glasses back on, before handing it back.
Evans: I'm gonna be honest. They, like, had me and then they, like, totally lost me at "Championship".
Davis (wide e): ... You signed up for one of the most dangerous match types in the business without knowing what you were getting into?
Evans: Y-yeah... Pretty much...
Stewart: Och, a've heard juist aboot enough!
He angrily walks into view.
A.B.: I have never thought I'd be so happy to see Ethan Stewart for any reason.
Stewart: A dinnae know whit's worse, th' fact that some na name rookie wis handed a title shot or that th' same, na name rookie is an eejit wha haes na blasted idea how why he's 'ere!
Evans (points at him, then smiles): Ethan Stewart? The Ethan Stewart? Wow, Dude (extends hand for a shake), I just, like, want to say what a total honour it was to be able to plant my foot in your face at Ascension.
Stewart (grabs his shirt and pulls him close): Ye mist think ye'r real funny, don't ye? How weel dae ye think ye cuid crack yer jokes wi' yer jaw wired shut?
Evans: Dude, I'm, like, going to ask you once. Let go of my shirt.
Stewart: Och ho, sae noo th' goofball's git fire. Whit urr ye going tae dae if ah don't?
Evans (shrugs): Don't know yet. I "still don't know why I'm here", but here's something I do know. In my, like, first ever wrestling match, I dropped you.
Crowd: Oh!
Evans: I dropped you in front of 50,000 people in attendance and, like, 1,017,357 people worldwide. My foot on your face is all over the internet, now and forever.
Shamoon: He's right.
Stewart: Weel, isnae that stoatin? See, here's whit really happened. Ye landed a few jammy shots, ye kicked me in da stones 'n' got awa' wi' a fluke win.
Evans pushes him away. Stewart looks shocked.
Crowd: Oh!
Dominga: That was stupid.
Evans: If it bothers you that much, (holds up belt) You can totally take it, like, right now.
Stewart: Ye juist made th' biggest mistake o` yer li-
Evans kicks him in the crotch (for the second time in the span of 24 hours), then superkicks him.
A.B.: Oh, come on!
Evans: Hey, Chloe. Would this count as a title defence?
Davis: I mean, technically, he never officially challenged y-
Evans (places foot on Stewart's chest): 1! 2! 3! Ding ding ding. See ya. (Leaves.)
Arena
Dominga: What the hell was that?
Shamoon: A successful title defence.
Dominga: That was idiotic and disrespectful.
Shamoon: That was a newcomer standing up for himself and refusing to be intimidated.
A.B.: Aaz, he's like a dumb frat boy. He didn't even know the rules that came with the title. What do you see in him?
Shamoon: I'm telling you, he's got a bright future.
Dominga: He just made an enemy of Ethan Stewart. He now, officially, no longer has a future.
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