BACKSTAGE
An O.R.D.R.L.I. feed appears on the screens, in gorilla position.
Campbell: ... the hell do ya mean he can't find them? How the bloody hell do ya lose 3 people that massive?
Jeyi: That's what Brendan said. They're nowhere to be seen.
Campbell: They're meant to be in Samoa on Monday, God damnit!
Jeyi: I know-
Campbell: I don't need Shabani crawlin' up my arse!
Campbell: Lemme chuck you some bloody messages. Tell the Wallaces to rack off outta that ring, get Brendan and his crew to turn this gaff upside down 'til they find Lulu and her rellies, and someone let Seth, Dennis Zázrak and Kraken Khan know they're on, pronto!
Production Assistant: But Jeff, Seth hasn't come back to us with a partner yet-
Campbell: 'e's 'ad all night to find one! Tell 'im to take a shit in 'is hand and carry it out with him, because I ain't got none to give! MOVE!
The PA runs. Jeyi starts relaying the orders into her headset.
Campbell: And one more thing.
Jeyi pulls up her headset and turns back.
Campbell (waves finger): That is the last time Tom, Dick and Harry waltz out with that abortion of a theme song. Got it?
Jeyi (nods and sighs): Got it.
Campbell: Good.
The feed ends.
ARENA
SDS: Diogo, it seems like week after week, the volatility on this brand and perhaps the entire company just keeps growing.
DS: Yeah... I LOVE IT!
Stroligo shakes his head and sighs.
SDS (holds headset): Wait, we have another O.R.D.R.L.I. feed coming our way.
OUTSIDE
The screens show the roads around the Anvil Arena, with traffic building up, cars honking their horns and the Pisco Police Department blasting their sirens. Lulu Asovale, Hunapo Henare and Kaivao Manu all stand in the centre of an intersection with their eyes rolled back.
The crowd screams at the sight.
SDS: My God, it's the Madness!
DS: They're in the street! How'd that happen
Asovale (shakes her head): What the... WHAT THE F***?!
Henare: WHERE ARE WE?!
MANU: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!
Several sprint out of the building, some of them with bright green jackets to direct traffic, while the rest drag the powerful and pissed-off Polynesians off the road.
Campbell rushes out: You got 'em? Great! Get 'em outta here!
Asovale: Jeffers, what-
Campbell: Jeffers, nothin'! I warned you! You're done! I want you on the next flight out of 'ere, or it's back in the bloody traffic!
Asovale (holds up hands): Alright! Alright! We're goin'!
They follow the guards inside to be taken to the parking lot.
The feed ends.
ARENA
DS: Darryl?
SDS: Yes?
DS: Remind me never to get on Tình Nhân's bad side.
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