A loud set of trumpets blowing in lockstep with a rapid-fire boom bap beat. The camera lingers on the stage for a bit, but no one comes out.
It then darts about, capturing the faces of the cheering fans until it finds Sthe walking down the stairs between two rows of fans, as always clad in his basketball-inspired shirt and shorts with his big glasses and headphones.
David Bekker: The following is a Handicap Match scheduled for one fall. On the way to the ring, from Benguela, Angola, standing 193 centimetres and weighing in at 111 Kilos, SETH!
SDS: Last week, Seth teamed up with the Groundbreaker, Dennis Zázrak, in a handicap match against the former champion, Kraken Khan, who picked up the victory when Seth was left in the lurch by his partner.
DS: Seth disrespected Zázrak! He got what he deserved.
SDS: And then Zázrak got laid out afterwards BY Khan.
DS: That was different. Khan's the former champ. Zázrak's the current champ. They have legit beef. What business does this guy have?
DS: Yes, I did actually, because all that matters is who won.
Seth tosses his glasses, headphones and his shirt. He then hops the barricade and rolls into the ring.
A deep, apocalyptic theme is suddenly heard, overlayed with the sound of crashing waves. The massive Kraken Khan, heavily tatted with a crustacean mask, marches onto the stage, his long, braided beard swaying with each step. His Persian Orange eyes are locked on the Angolan.
David Bekker: And the opponent, from Mumbai, Maharashtra, India, standing 206 centimetres and weighing in at 129 Kilos, Kraken Khan!
SDS: The monster from Mumbai. A terrifying force who is a friend to no one, but tonight, he has to co-exist with one enemy to deal with another.
DS: It's perfect. They get rid of this poser, and then they focus on each other.
Khan remains at the base of the ramp, Seth stands in the ring, while Dan Masters blocks his path, lest a confrontation occur.
A loud, angelic orchestra is heard as the entire arena goes black. Spotlights shine down on it, revealing the glowing white form of Dennis Zázrak, who stands with his arms spread, his head held high, the championship belt around his waist and a microphone in his hand. The darkness recedes, as does the light, revealing his full, chiselled form to loud boos.
David Bekker: And his partner, from the Little Carpathian Mountains in Western Slovakia, standing at a PERFECT 190 centimetres and weighing in at a PERFECT 112 Kilos, he is the Groundbreaker, DENNIS ZÁZRAK!
Zázrak lowers his head, looking forward and smouldering. He walks down, occasionally stopping to pose and flex as the crowd boos.
DS: I never get tired of looking at this man, Darryl. Pure perfection. The alpha male of our species.
SDS: There is a distinct lack of 'no homo' in that sentence.
DS: There's nothing wrong with admiring another man who takes care of himself. It's aspirational.
SDS: Hmm...
DS: ... You're impossible! I can't look at women. I can't look at men. What do you want from me?
SDS: Looking was never the issue, and you know it.
Zázrak: Zázrak demands silence!
The crowd boos louder.
Zázrak: SILENCE!!!
They still boo, but quieter.
Zázrak (approaches the ring): Now, Mr... Khan, is it?
SDS: You know exactly who he is!
Khan turns his head slightly.
Zázrak: You and Zázrak, we are not friends. Zázrak doesn't like you, and you, due to crippling jealousy, do not like Zázrak. We have nothing in common, except for one thing. This. (gestures at the Tectonic Championship) And while you will never hold it again as long as Zázrak is alive,-which will be a very long time, because Zázrak is perfection and perfection is eternal-we both agree that this one (points at Seth in the ring) has never held it, will never hold it and SHOULD never hold it for as long as HE is alive.
Khan looks at Seth once again, narrowing his eyes, as if considering his words.
Zázrak: So, Zázrak proposes that tonight we get rid of this poser and then focus on each other.
DS: Not only is he good-looking, but he's also a genius!
SDS: Didn't you say those exact words just now?
DS: Great minds think alike.
Khan pauses and then slowly nods. Zázrak smirks. The crowd gasps. Seth backs away as his two foes look at him with malice.
SDS: Whatever chances Seth had have just plummeted.
Zázrak: Excellent! Now, if you just follow Zázrak's lead, this will be over in-
The Kraken's clawed hand around his throat cuts the champion off. He grabs Zázrak's mic-holding wrist and pulls it up to his own face.
Khan: Follow YOUR lead?! (pulling him closer) I was already a Heavyweight Champion while you were still sucking on your mother's teat!
Seth watches this exchange. Masters tells him to stay in the ring. Seth shrugs and hits the ropes.
Zázrak (looking at the ring, panicking, choking): But-
Khan: SHUT UP! And look at me when I'm-
SDS: SETH WITH A FLIPPING SENTON!!! Over the ref, over the ropes, taking out both men!
DS: CHEAP SHOT!
The crowd goes crazy as Seth stands up, drags Zázrak to his feet, the Tectonic title having loosened and fallen off, and throws him in the ring. He gets inside and is halted by Masters.
SDS: Referee letting Zázrak recover before he can ring the bell.
DS: Yeah, back off!
When Zázrak gets to his feet, Masters calls for the bell. Seth quickly approaches, but Zázrak kicks him in the gut.
SDS: Zázrak whipping Seth into a corner. Seth LEAPS ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE! BACKFLIPPING OVER ZÁZRAK!
DS: Man that big shouldn't move like that!
SDS: Now a Shoulder Blocks and European Uppercuts. He's not just agile. Some have said he may be, kilo for kilo, the strongest man in the company. KHAN'S IN THE RING! Seth sidesteps, using Khan to crush Zázrak in the corner.
Seth leaps and spins in the air for a Stinger Splash on both men, using his own and Khan's weight to squash Zázrak further. He then clotheslines the stunned monster over the top rope before picking Zázrak up for a Fireman's Carry.
SDS: Seth with the champ on his shoulders!
DS: He can't do this!
SDS: There it ism the Go To Sleep! Hooks the leg!
DS: Kick out, Zázrak!
Masters: 1! 2! 3! Ring the bell!
DS: NO!
SDS: SETH HAS PINNED THE PSW TECTONIC CHAMPION!
David Bekker: Here is your winner, Seth!
Seth gets up and dusts his hands off before allowing Masters to raise his arm in victory.
DS: He cheated! He jumped them before the match, literally jumped!
SDS: The alliance was already doomed. Here comes Khan again!
Seth ducks a clothesline attempt and kicks the monster in the gut. He then tries to pick Khan up for the GTS and gets elbowed in the head over and over again.
DS: Strongest man, my ass!
SDS: No amount of power beats a well-placed elbow to the temple. Oh my God, he's clawing at his face. He's going to gouge out his eyes!
Master tries to intervene, but gets backhanded.
SDS: The ref is down! That's going to be a massive fine.
DS: That's why you mind your own business!
Khan holds Seth's hand and shoves him back, only to pull him forward into his signature Lifting Reverse STO.
SDS: MUMBAI MAELSTROM!
Khan gets back to his feet. The only man standing spreads his arms as his apocalyptic theme returns to loud boos.
SDS: Once again, Kraken Khan leaves a pile of bodies in his wake, but that doesn't change the facts. Seth now has a legitimate, undeniable claim to Dennis Zázrak's Tectonic Championship! These three are going to have two clash. It's no longer a matter of if, but when.
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