Briar Lane: The following is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Macau, China, standing 5 feet 2 and weighing in at 118 pounds, "LUCKY" LEI D!
Shamoon (stars in his eyes): She's so cuuuuutee!!!
Dominga (sticks tongue out): Blagh. She looks like a Dalmatian.
A.B.: Lei D, the former idol, is about to have her second match ever in PSW. Her first was on our very first episode, an utter decimation at the hands of Athiambo.
A rocking melody plays. A young Caucasian woman with short brown hair and bangs, wearing blue and red gear, jogs onto the stage, throws up her hands, and beckons the crowd to cheer.
Briar Lane: And her tag team partner. From Calgary, Alberta, Canada, standing 5 feet 6 and weighing in at 140 pounds, MAYA LETHBRIDGE!
Shamoon: Her neck and ribs are looking better.
A.B.: Maya Lethbridge, the 9-year veteran, in her second PSW match; her first also ended in a brutal loss to Athiambo on our second episode. Now, the two former students of the "Mother Hen of Holds" Kalavina Leota come together to finally get a win.
Dominga: You know, I'm just going to say it. I don't think Leota's that good of a teacher. I mean the only students who've done somewhat well so far are the Track Queens and-
Shamoon: That's 2 out of 6, which is the same as 1 out of 3. That's not bad. Also, you know she can hear you, right?
Dominga: So what? I'm doing my job. Besides, no, she can't. She should be in the medical tent with Festa.
A.B.: There's a monitor in there.
Dominga: No, there isn't. I checked before the show.
A.B.: I've been informed that after the Evans incident, Dr Sharma requested one. Should have been set up about 5 minutes ago.
Dominga: ...
Lethbridge and Lei D enter the ring and climb the turnbuckle, posing for the crowd yet again.
A bopping pop track plays with some male vocalists singing about a woman of incredible beauty. Seraphina Dubois, in her frilly, bee-inspired gear, walks out like a runway model, arms raised and fingers splayed. The crowd boos.
Briar Lane: And the opponents. First, from Montréal, Québec, Canada, standing 5 feet 7 and weighing in at 132 pounds, SOCIALITE SERAPHINA DUBOIS!
A.B.: The alleged "fourth-generation" star, the daughter of "Diamond Eyes" Damas Dubois, granddaughter of the "Great Golden" Gabrielle Dubois and great-granddaughter of the "Xenogenetic Xylophylic" Xarles Dubois.
Shamoon: None of whom exist.
A.B.: That's why I said allegedly.
Dominga: Come on, Aaz. Just because you're too uncultured as to familiarise yourself-
Shamoon: What's your favourite, Great Golden match, Dominga?
Dominga: Uh- I... don't know. It was before my time. Like my dad-Grampa's generation.
Shamoon: Oh, right. What's your Diamond Eyes ma-
Dominga: Before my time! Shut up, Shamoon!
A.B.: Was wondering when it was coming.
The grand imperial trumpets of Talon are heard next. He comes out proudly, holding up a large French flag, wearing a golden eagle helmet and a feathered cape of the same colour over his power singlet.
Briar Lane: And the tag team partner, from Ajaccio, Corsica, France, standing 6 feet 2 and weighing in at 251 pounds, EMPEROR TALON!
A.B.: He was once one half of His Excellencies with Dennis Zázrak, who-
Dominga: Dropped him like a bad habit at the Super Fight and went on to Ascension to claim the Tectonic Title (starts crying) before he went to Fight Pit, and I never got to see his perfect body again! (bawls)
Shamoon: You could literally just watch him on TV-
Dominga: (bawls louder)
A.B.: Now look what you did!
Shamoon: Me?!
Talon and Dubois kiss, then walk down to the ring arm in arm, sneering at the crowd. Lethbridge shakes her head while Lei D folds her arms.
A.B.: You know we were just talking about Lei D and Lethbridge's losses on episodes 1 and 2, but these two Francophones are collectively 0-5. Dubois failed to capture the Jewell's title at the Super Fight; Talon earlier that night failed to capture the Tag Team titles after Zázrak walked out on him; then she and Talon tried to bully Sarah Esposito and Zadie Chen at the draft, only to eat a loss there. In episode 1, Dubois taps out to Luisa Festa; in episode 2, she brings in Talon, and he loses to Festa after getting duped by a Brazilian tap while he had her in a Boston Crab.
Shamoon: Then you had the couples therapy session with "Dr Malasartes", who was just Festa in disguise, and it made them both look like even bigger idiots than they are. We should call them Francofrauds. Heh.
A.B.: It's fair to say Festa's eventual rise to her current status as Crimson Queen came at their expense, and now we have two teams desperate for that first victory.
Talon holds down the rope for his lady to enter and plants his flag in the ring post before entering himself.
Referee Atoye Bonds takes centre mat to keep the two teams apart. Lethbridge tells Lei D that she'll start. Dubois and Talon flirt for a bit before he exits out onto the apron.
A.B.: And there's the bell. Tag team match underway.
Dominga: (sniffles)
A.B.: Feeling better now?
Dominga: Yes...
A.B.: Dubois and Lethbridge, circling each other. There's the lock-up, collar-and-elbow. Side Headlock by Dubois. Lethbridge slips out; Hammerlock applied. Dubois counters quickly; Snapmare Takedown; chinlock by Dubois.
Shamoon: She's got it in tight. Centre of the ring.
Dominga: Say whatever you want about her family. She can wrestle, and that is a fact.
A.B.: The wrestling is not quite the problem. It's the finishing. Lethbridge, forcing Dubois to a standing position. Elbow to the gut. And another one. A third elbow!
Dubois doubles over. Lethbridge sprints to the ropes, using them for the runback.
A.B.: Beautiful Arm Drag by Dubois!
Dominga: That was smooth as silk.
A.B.: Both women back up-and now it's Lethbridge with an Arm Drag!
Shamoon: That one had some snap to it.
Both women get to their feet once again and break away from each other.
Shamoon: Oh, this is going to be match match.
Talon, from the outside, reaches into the ring. Dubois smirks and tags him.
Shamoon: Never mind.
Lethbridge looks over at Lei D, who visibly gulps, and decides against following suit.
A.B.: Lethbridge hesitant to tag out.
Dominga: Smart choice. Well, as smart a choice as you can possibly make in this situation.
Talon enters the ring and rolls his large shoulders before approaching. Lethbridge does too.
Shamoon: She's not going to lock up with him, is she?
A.B.: No, she's not. Lethbridge slipping behind. Taking out the knee-but Talon with a fistful of hair! Slamming her face down on the mat! And now with the knee on the back. Some kind of modified Camel Clutch applied.
A.B.: No, she's not. Lethbridge slipping behind. Taking out the knee-but Talon with a fistful of hair! Slamming her face down on the mat! And now with the knee on the back. Some kind of modified Camel Clutch applied.
Dominga: I take it back. She should have tagged out. Just to avoid having 250 pounds on her back!
Shamoon: Lethbridge has nowhere to go and Talon is cranking it. She might need to tap-
A.B.: Lei D's in the ring! Pump Ki- NO! Talon catches her boot!
Dominga: One hand easy.
The Frenchman shakes his head and smirks, holding Lei D with one hand while continuing the submission on Lethbridge with the other. Dubois laughs from outside the ring.
A.B.: Enziguri by Lei D! Talon stunned. Lethbridge slipping out. Running Bulldog! There's the cover.
Shamoon: Ref is trying to get Lei D out of the ring.
Dominga: Dumb rookie!
A.B.: Talon kicks out with authority! Lethbridge flying out of the ring.
Dominga: That's what you get when you team with a pop star.
Shamoon: She's an idol...
Dominga: She's a liability is what she-
A.B.: And now Dubois! Dubois attacking Lethbridge, stomping away on the outside!
Shamoon: Despicable! Cowardly!
Dominga: ¡Brillante!
Lei D (pointing): Ref! W-Wait, look! You need to-
Bonds: YOU need to get out of the ring, now!
Bonds: YOU need to get out of the ring, now!
Lei D: But look! Dubois is-
Bonds: NOW!
Lei D: Just listen-
Bonds: 1! 2! 3! 4!
Lei D leaves the ring, and Bonds turns around, but Dubois has already tossed Lethbridge back into the ring and climbed the apron. Talon plants a foot on the Calgarian's chest and flexes.
A.B.: Lethbridge kicks out! Unserious cover by Talon.
Shamoon: He doesn't have the luxury of fooling around like that!
Dominga: Yeah, I agree. Wasted opportunity. You're twice her size; pin her down!
A.B.: Tag to Dubois. Double-team move incoming.
Talon picks Lethbridge up, performs a Pendulum Backbreaker, and holds her in place for Dubois, who, with a running start, hits a Running Knee Drop to Lethbridge's forehead.
Dominga: Ouch!
A.B.: Great move! Dubois hooks the leg.
Bonds: One! Tw-
A.B.: Kickout again!
Lethbridge rolls onto her stomach. Dubois slaps her on the ground, hard and loud.
Shamoon: Seriously?
A.B.: Come on!
A.B.: Come on!
Dominga: The disrespect! ... I like it.
A.B.: Dubois now with both knees on Lethbridge's back. She's got control of the legs and the head, now rolling back. I think it's- Yes, Bow and Arrow Submission applied. Lethbridge getting stretched out on top of Dubois' knees!
Dominga: I really, really hate this hold. It hurts like hell!
Bonds: Lethbridge, you want to quit?
Lethbridge (gritted teeth): Nnnnnoooo!!!
A.B.: Lethbridge wriggling free... into a pinning position! Dubois forced to kick out.
Shamoon: That's the danger with the Bow and Arrow. You have to be lying down with your opponent held horizontally above you. If they get out...
Lei D (climbing up and reaching in): Maya! Tag me in!
Lethbridge lifts her head and looks at the young idol hesitantly, then begins to crawl.
A.B.: Dubois on her feet... and she knocks Lei D off the apron.
Dominga: Caramba! She clobbered her!
Shamoon: But Maya's got her in a waistlock!
A.B.: O' Connor Roll-Up by Lethbridge! Bridging pin! Dubois' shoulders are down!
Bonds: One! Two! Th-
A.B.: Talon breaks it up with an Elbow Drop! Just crushing Lethbridge.
The Corsican drags his Quebecois beauty queen back to their corner, while the Albertan clutches her chest, coughing.
A.B.: Talon tags himself in. Lethbridge is vulnerable.
Dominga: He can finish this right now.
The Emperor grabs both Lethbridge's legs and turns her over for his signature Boston Crab.
A.B.: Couper les ailes! Couper les ailes in the centre of the ring!
Lethbridge screams as the big Frenchman sits fully on her back, bending her in half.
Shamoon: Maya's already taken damage to her back from the knee-to-the-back Camel Clutch earlier and Dubois' Bow and Arrow.
Dominga: Two choices: Tap or snap. And by snap, I mean her spine!
Bonds: Lethbridge! Lethbridge, do you want to give up?
Lethbridge shakes her head, but her hand is about to make its own decision.
A.B.: Lei D with a Running Dropkick to the back of Talon's head! Saving the match in the nick of time.
Talon stumbles to his feet, clutching the back of his head. He spins around and seethes at Lei D, who immediately runs to her corner. Talon is quicker and grabs her by one of her pigtails.
Dominga: Watch this, boys. Little Miss C-Pop's about to get a REAL wrestling lesson!
Lei D kicks Talon on the inside of his knee, to which he responds with a punch square in her gut, knocking the wind out of her and stunning the crowd into silence.
Shamoon: Urrggghhh...
A.B.: The hard reality of intergender wrestling.
He then sticks her head between his legs and hooks both her arms.
Lethbridge forces her to stand, but Dubois clocks her from behind and then reaches under her arms and locks her hands around Lethbridge's wrists before twisting 180 degrees.
The Francophones lock eyes, then finish off their opponents with a Double Underhook Facebuster (Talon) and an Inverted variant (Dubois).
A.B.: La Conquête by Talon, and the Makeunder by Dubois!
Talon moves away from Lei D's prone form, crawling toward Lethbridge's lifeless body. Dubois gives way, allowing him to secure the pin.
Bonds: 1! 2! 3! Ring the bell!
Briar Lane: Here are your winners, the team of... "Socialite" Seraphina Dubois and "Emperor" Talon!
Dominga: FINALLY!
A.B.: That was as dominant a victory as you'll ever see.
Shamoon: Yeah, they didn't stand a chance once Talon got serious, and Dubois came in clutch too. These two might actually be a force.
Dominga: And to think they were trying to kill each other two weeks. I guess good sex really does fix everything.
Shamoon: But poor Lei D. She was never officially tagged in, and she still got destroyed.
Dominga: Hopefully she's learned a valuable lesson. Like quitting.
Talon stands, wipes his hands, and flexes his huge arms as Dubois claps for him. He then holds out his hands, beckoning Dubois over, and she leaps into his arms for a passionate kiss... a French one with Lethbridge and Lei D lying motionless at their feet.
Dominga: Aw!
Shamoon: Get a room!
A.B.: I remember the last time they did that. Traumatised poor Chloe Davis. Speaking of which, she's set to interview one of the combatants in tonight's main event, the "Outlaw" Jessie Moore!
~ VaniTea
@IdolUpdatesPNG
@IdolUpdatesPNG
[Image: A carousel of photos. The first photo shows Lei D smiling and pointing to the crowd during her entrance. The second photo shows Lei D gasping for air on the mat after the punch, tears in her eyes. The third photo shows Lei D being helped to the back by medical staff.]
Caption: Please send all your love to Lei D tonight. 💜🎲 The physical disparity was totally unfair, but she showed so much bravery trying to save Maya. We love you Lucky Lei! Recover well! 🙏✨
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Comments:
- @K-Pop_J-Pop_C-Pop: I physically flinched. PSW is too barbaric for her. She needs to terminate her contract.
- @MMA_Scout_2031: Bravery? She distracted the ref while Lethbridge was getting jumped, and then kicked a heavyweight in the knee with zero force. She doesn't belong in a combat sport.
- @LethbridgeLegion: Maya got her spine compressed into a pretzel because Lei didn't stay on the apron. Love Lei, but she's a massive liability in a tag team.
- @GildedAgeBoi: That punch Talon threw at Lei D shifted my entire paradigm. No hesitation. Pure equal rights, equal lefts.
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