A video appears on the titantron and we find ourselves in a room with white walls, red curtains, and a big couch. There are several ornaments, pots and pillars around them.
"Socialite" Seraphina Dubois sits on one side of the couch, dressed in a black jacket over a fitting white dress with pink stripes with high-heels. A pair of red-rimmed sunglasses rests on the top of her head, with lipstick to match. Her long blonde hair was slicked back.
"Emperor" Talon sits on the other end of the chair, dressed like Napoleon, bicorne hat and Austerlitz sword included.
Both of them have their legs crossed and their chins resting on their hands and their lower lips jutting out and brows deeply furrowed, all while facing away from each other.
A taller-than-average, older-looking darkskinned woman with grey hair tied in a bun, clad in a long white jacket and big, round glasses, walks in with a clipboard.
Woman (sits down): Hello, Miss Dubois, Meestur Talon. Sorry, I'm late. I'm Dr Pedrine Malasartes. I understand jyou have been haveeng some problems as of late. Where should we start?
Shamoon: How are they already in therapy? They've been together for, like, a month-
Dominga: Shush.
Shamoon: That almost sounded like-
A.B.: Ssh.
Dr Malasartes: Where should we start?
She looks between them. Neither of them says a word.
Dr Malasartes: Perhaps we can start with the elephant thee room. Or... ring? (Looks at clipboard) It says here jyour both... wrestlers? And that you have been struggleeng with jyour... (looks directly at Talon with narrowing copper brown eyes) performances.
Talon (slams fist on armrest): MY PERFAHRMANCES HAVE BEEN PERFECT! IN AND OUT OF THE RING!
Dubois snickers.
Dr Malasartes (looks at her): Seraphina. May I jyou, Seraphina? Do you have something you'd like to say?
Talon (glares at Dubois): Yes. Whaht is so funny?
Dubois (straightens and claps, while looking at Talon): "Perfect." Your performances are "perfect"? You let go of a submission before the bell rang! (looks at Malasartes) Who does that?
Talon: I have told you a thousahnd times! FESTA. TAPPED. OUT!
Dubois (stands up): No, she didn't! You're just an idiot!
Talon (stands up): Why you...
Malasartes blows a whistle, drawing their attention: Please, seet down.
They both glare at each other again, but obey.
Dr Malasartes: Now, Seraphina, calling Talon an eedeeot doesn't help. Eet ees also not nice.
Talon: Thank you. She uses words like daggers (side-eyes Dubois) because her body is so brittle!
Dubois gasps.
Malasartes: That's not nice, either.
Talon: Oui. Not nice, but true. How quickly did she tahp out to thaht Brazilian wahrmth-mahnger two weeks ago? 5 seconds? 3 seconds?
Dubois: Festa nearly broke my leg! That spinning leglock she did had a lot of torque? I had no choice!
Talon: She barely had it locked in, and you were screaming. (Looks away, grumbling) Always with the screaming, except when I want you to.
Malasartes: Talon!
Dubois (smirks): You wish-
Malasartes: Guys, let's stay on track. So, thees-what's her name, Festa?-ees the source of jyour problems.
Dubois: She's a nobody!
Talon: A cockroach!
Dubois: A peasant!
Talon: I would not even wipe my boot on her-
Malasartes (visibly annoyed): Okay, I get eet! (clears throat) But she seems to have a cataleest? No? For something... deeper?
Dubois: What are you talking about?
Malasartes: Seraphina, do jyou feel as though Talon... let jyou down last week?
Dubois (eyes widen): Yes...
Talon: Whaht?
Malasartes: And do you theenk he... keeps letteeng you done?
Talon (pointing at the Doctor): Whaht kind of game are you-
Dubois: Yes! Yes, that's exactly it! That's all you've been doing since we got together. Letting me down.
Talon: Name one time.
Dubois: Last week! You were supposed to help me get revenge on Festa, but you spent more time clobbering ME than you did hurting her!
Talon: I only bumped into you because you kept getting in the way!
Dubois: Typical man. It's always the woman's fault she got hit!
Talon: Ne m'entraîne pas sur ce chemin, femme!
Dubois: Ou quoi? Tu n'as pas le cran. Tu n'as pas les couilles!
As they argue, Malasartes scribbles away on her clipboard.
Talon (grabs her face): You want to see BALLS?!
Dubois: YES! I'd like to see them, but then I'd have to be drafted to the Fight Pit. Maybe check in on Dennis Zázrak?
Talon: You DARE speak thaht name in my presence?!
Malasartes: Who is thees Zázrak?
Dubois (pushes Talon's hand away): His old partner, who walked out on him, because he's a LOSER!
Talon: Whaht did you say?
Malasartes: Let her feeneesh.
Dubois: He tried to get his revenge two weeks at Ascension, a pay-per-view. Tried to screw Zázrak out of the Tectonic Championship. And by tried, I mean FAILED MISERABLY because Zázrak became Champion ANYWAY and Talon got suspended. (looks at Talon) You left me alone and at the mercy of that filthy bujiji freak!
Malasartes (through gritted): B.J.J. (clears throat) Talon, what do jyou say to that?
Talon: If I am failing, it is because I have an anchor tied to my hip! I am a conqueror! A king! I need a Queen by my side! An alpha she-wolf! Instead, I got a yahpping bitch!
Dubois gasps again.
Malasartes: So, jyou're saying Seraphinna doesn't support you?
Talon: ... No. No, she doesn't!
Dubois: I could have left you at any time!
Talon: But you don't, because you know you wouldn't survive with your phoney lineage!
Dubois (stands up, red-faced): MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER, THE XENOGENETIC XYLOPHYLIC XARLES DUBOIS WAS A LEGEND!!!
Talon: Oui, a legend! (stands up also) As in a fairytale, because he didn't exist!
Dubois: He did too!
Talon: Then perhaps, he is a legendary FAILURE because YOU exist!
Dubois (growling, veins buldging): .... You want to talk about phoney? Mr "I'm Napoleon reincarnated"?
Talon: I have never once claimed to be Napoleon resurrected. That is media smear! I simply carry the spirit of French excellence that he embodied!
Dubois: He wasn't even French, stupid! You are a glorified cosplayer whom I tolerate because you have a big dick.
Talon (smirks): Oui, although sometimes I think it's not big enough.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Dubois gasps for the third time, nearly dislocating her jaw in the process. She then proceeds throw off her sunglasses, jackets, earrings, jewels and heels.
Talon (turns away): Please, dahn't embarrass yourself fur-
Dubois screeches like a banshee and jumps on his back. He stumbles around blindly, knocking over the ornaments and pottery, shattering them. Malasartes takes this opportunity to stand up, fold the chair she was sitting on and hand it to Talon. The "Emperor" threw Dubois off and attempts to hit her with the chair, only for the Quebecois to kick him in the balls.
Dubois: I guess you have them after all, huh!
She grabs the chair and tries to hit him with it, but he tackles her to the ground, where the struggle continues. Malasartes puts her hands in her jacket pocket and walks out.
Talon: I... will teach you!
Dubois: Do it! Come on, do it!
Shamoon: Are they still fighting or...?
A.B.: I feel as though I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do when I get home.
The camera follows Malasartes as she exits the room, locks the door and places a large triangular, yellow sticker with a black skull and crossbones on the door.
Shamoon: Yep.
She pulls her grey hair off, revealing long black locks with golden highlights. The crowd pops huge, and she peels her prosthetic face off to reveal the youthful visage of Luisa Festa.
Dominga: I KNEW IT!
Shamoon: No, you didn't.
Dominga: As soon as I heard the "doctor's" name, it was obvious.
Balducci just laughs.
Festa throws off her jacket and covers her face with both hands and breathes in deeply. She pulls her hands away, exhaling loudly, and her copper-brown eyes are now green.
Dominga: She did it again!
Shamoon: Put on contacts?
Dominga: Those aren't contacts! There's something in her hands! Sharma! Shabani, somebody drug test! She just consumed a substance on camera!
Festa exits stage right while doing her signature tubeman dance. The crowd laughs and cheers.
The video ends.
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