PSW Madhouse Episode 3 - Victory March

- 13 January 2031

A.B.: Welcome, everyone, to Psycho Style Wrestling's Monday Night Madhouse! I'm Alf Balducci, the livewire Dominga Alvarez to my right, the ever-analytical Aazif Shamoon to my left. We are coming to you live from the Humuna Humunarena in Himbeergeist!

Shamoon: Try saying that five times fast!

Dominga: Shu- Nope, not tonight. I can do this.

A.B.: What's this now?

Shamoon: I bet her this morning that she couldn't go one night without telling me to shut up.

Dominga: I won't lose. I refuse to lose.

A.B.: You almost did, just now. I doubt a couple of bucks is that important to you.

Dominga: It's... not... money.

Balducci looks at Shamoon, who has an overly eager smirk on his face. He shakes his head and looks at the camera.

A.B.: We've got a big night ahead of us, several debuts, but before we begin, we need to address the events of last week. After Queen Cobra's... actions, the reigning Jewell's Champion, Empress Ngozi, is not here this week on orders by Dr Anya Sharma, General Manager, Nalah Shabani and myself. 

Dominga: Great decision. With respect, she shouldn't have been here last week.

A.B. (looks down): On that note, while this has been addressed internally, I want to take a moment to apologise for my own actions publicly. 

Shamoon: Come on, man. You don't have to-

A.B.: Aaz, please. (looks at camera) Last week, I allowed my personal feelings to override my professional duties and attempted to get physical with a contracted talent. I escalated an already dangerous situation and put my broadcast colleagues in an awkward position, and for that I'm so-

Suddenly, the arena darkens and fills with fog. The haunting, ambient theme of Queen Cobra is heard. The sliding doors open, and the serpent crawls out, her long white hair obscuring her face. She rises to her feet and spreads her arms to loud boos from the Himbeergeist fans.

Shamoon: This woman... She always made my skin crawl, but now?

A.B.: And look who's with her. 

The Outlaw Jessie Moore walks with her hands in her denim jacket pockets, her big black hat and red facial bandana hiding her expression. The Untouchable Shay Maharaj comes out as well, blowing kisses to the crowd and handing the other two micropnes, not hiding the malice on her own face. The trio walk down to the ring together.

A.B.: I truly hope that these three are proud of themselves.

Dominga: They humiliated the Empress. I'd say they should be... with respect.

Cobra and her cohorts enter the ring. She raises the mic, but the crowd boos loudly, so she waits. The three villainesses share a good chuckle.

A.B.: Shameless.

Cobra (Addressing crowd): I mussst sssay. You all ssseem a tad peeved.

Crowd: Boo!

Cobra: I'm sssorry, I jussst can't underssstand why. (Turns to Moore and Maharaj): Ladiesss, can either you tell me what it isss that bothersss them?

Moore: Ah thihnk it 'as sumthin' ta do with, Ngozi.

Cobra (Slaps forehead): Of courssse. How could I forget? (Laughs as she turns back to crowd) Wordsss, cannot dessscribe the power that I felt in that match. Imagine a 22-year veteran, flailing around the ring like a confusssed child, and that wasss before I sssank my fangsss into her. (Chuckles) 

Cobra looks over at the commentary desk and walks over to lean on the ropes: Alf, darling. How isss she by the way? 

Shamoon: Don't dignify that with a response.

Cobra: I heard your little apology jussst now, and I notisssed you left out the part where you nearly took my head off with a sssteel chair.

Shamoon: Alf-

A.B.: Don't worry, I'm fine.

Cobra (hand on chest): But I forgive you.

The crowd boos.

Cobra: And I underssstand. You were doing what any loving husssband would do. (holds up finger) In fact, MY husssband would have much, much worssse in your shoesss...

She then turns away from to readdress the crowd: Now, asss much asss I would love to, I can't take all the credit. I can take mossst of it, (Moore frowns, Maharaj rolls her eyes) about ssseventy to eighty persssent, but not all of it. To topple the Empressss, we needed to isssolate her. That'sss where thessse two came in.

Moore (Addressing crowd): Now, let's git one thang strayaahyt.  Ah didn't lawk Che-yn in that culoset because ah was lookin' for friends or nothin’ (Points at Cobra who raises hands and backs away) Ah done it, one, because ah could.  Two, because ah done wanted t'.  Three, because Che-yn pissed me awk eend fowar, ifin' ah git a chahns ta knawk “Thuh Empress" down a peg, ah'll tay-uk it!

Maharaj: Yes, yes, yes. Big scary cowgirl throwing her weight around.

Moore (grabs her shirt): Ya're lucky ah'm ina daisy mood.

Maharaj (Pushes her hand away): It is really hard to tell with you, but I'd like to point out that your victory (points at Cobra) would not be possible without ME!

Dominga: That is true. If anything, Ngozi's current condition is her doing.

A.B.: She hit someone with a lead pipe when that person's back was turned. She'll have my attention when she does something of real note.

Maharaj: If I hadn't knocked out the "No. 1 Draft Pick", you definitely could not have hoped to try what you did. 

Cobra: And I’m grateful.

Maharaj: You should be. (Addressing the crowd) You see, when she presented the plan to me, I was more than a little worried. I had read and heard all the things that people were saying about Sarah Esposito, the young Desi Daru Champion, with an incredible amateur wrestling background. An athletic marvel, a freak of nature. She was hyped as the next big thing, and after seeing her up close... saying that I am not impressed would be an understatement.

Crowd: Booooo!

Maharaj: Now, I'm not speaking from a place of ignorance, I have watched Desi Daru Tournaments, I've seen what those people do to each other, so I'm seriously trying to wrap my head around how someone who does not have enough sense to watch her own back, while watching someone else’s could have possibly survived, let alone won something that dangerous. Twice.

Cobra: It isss puzzling, isssn’t it? (Looks towards a camera) Word of advissse my Empressss… find better help, probably someone who-

Esposito’s music hits. 

Shamoon: Oh boy.

Esposito marches out the sliding doors and down the ramp, seeing red. Zadie Chen quickly sprints in front of her and stops her. She points at the ring, then holds up three fingers. She points at Esposito, then holds up one finger, then shakes her head. 

A.B.: Chen thankfully, talking some sense into Esposito, but I won’t say that she doesn’t have a right to be upset.

Dominga: Nothing that was said in that ring was untrue. If she can’t handle it, she’s in the wrong business.

A.B.: In this business, when you get insulted, you respond. 

Dominga: Not when you’re outnumbered 3 to 1.

Maharaj (Waves): Oh, hi, Sarah. How's your head?

Esposito pushes forward, Chen doing her best to stop her.

Moore: Ya ought ta consider yourself lucky, gal.  At thuh pace ya were going, ya were about twenty-five steps away from thuh worst decision awf yo-wr life (sposito finally stops. Moore tilts head and smiles) Hey, Che-yn! ah done forgot ta ask, how’d ya like yo-wr accommodations last week? Hope, ya were nahce an comfortable?

Chen turns her head slightly.

Moore: Ya know, ah was goin' ta git ya a tee-vee, ya know, ta wach thuh show, (places hand on heart) but ah done decided that ah wasn’t gonna be that cruel.

A.B.: Disgusting.

Maharaj: You also threw away the key and threatened the janitor to keep the closet locked.

Moore: Well, yeah. That too.

Chen clenches her hand into a fist, but makes no advancements towards the ring. She starts pushing Sarah back up the ramp. Esposito continues to glare.

Cobra: You ssscowl all you want. It won’t change what happened, now be a good guard dog and wait for your mistresssss.

Esposito takes a deep breath and calms down. A crewman walks over and hands her a microphone.

Esposito: You know what? You’re right. What I can do is challenge you to match tonight.

Cobra (chuckles): Not interesssted. You are beneath me.

Esposito: That’s funny, because you had me taken out, but no, crazy snake lady, I wasn’t talking to you, Ngozi’s got the rights to your skin. I was talking to you, Princess! (Points at Maharaj). I owe you for that pipe last week.

Maharaj: Well, here’s the probl-

Esposito: I don’t care if it’s now, later or now till later. Before this show goes off the air, I’m going to be punching a six-inch hole in your skull! 

Dominga: Who does she think she is? She can’t just come out here and demand matches.

Shamoon: Are you going to walk over and tell her?

Dominga: Why would I do that? It’s not my job, and she should know better.

Maharaj (confused): What- Are you… Are you trying to intimidate me? (Angry) You think I'm afraid of you? (looking around while in thought) You... You... You.... ....  OVERHYPED ROID MONKEY!

A.B.: What?

Dominga: Oh snap...

Shamoon: I...

A loud GASP erupts from the arena. Cobra and Moore both stare at Maharaj with bulging eyes. Chen looks at the ring with wide eyes. Esposito is visibly stunned and then glares at the ring. 

Chen and Esposito then look at each other, with the former holding up her hands and stepping out of the way. 

Esposito then continues her march to the ring, much faster. As she enters, Cobra and Moore look at each other, and each takes a HUGE step backwards. Maharaj looks around frantically to see her allies far away, right when Esposito is uncomfortably close.

Sarah (towering over Maharaj): What... did you just say?

Maharaj: I... (gulp) I-I said I'm not afraid of you! Y-You want a match? Fine, I accept your challenge, and not only will I beat you, but I'll make sure that you can see me (waves hand in front of face), standing over you.

A.B.: It looks like we have a match after all.