PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Tom & Dick vs Battalion Bros

The actual match is well underway. Tom, no longer wearing his top hat and shades, stomps on El Soldado in the corner. Dick is on the apron, while Harry stands on the outside yelling insults with tissues in his bloody nose. Referee Dan Masters is issuing warnings and starting the five-count.

SDS: Presley needs to be careful here. Tag. In comes-

DS: BIG DICK!

SDS: Really?

DS: It was right there. Don't tell me not to take it.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Military Meets Music

 Pyro shoots up from the stage, screeching loudly before falling back down and exploding, followed by a grungy rock track playing. Two men draped in camo walk out. A well-built Caucasian with a bandana and a ginger beard, and a shorter, leaner, brown-skinned luchador with a camo mask and blonde mohawk.

They walk down together, slapping hands with fans on either side.

SDS: On the topic of tag teams...

David Bekker: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 196 kilos, Major Mallory, El Soldado, the Battalion Bros!

DS: You know, Darryl. I had brothers, cousins and uncles in the Brazilian Armed Forces, I'm talking Navy, Army, Air Force, Police, Firefighters, everything. I cannot stand stolen valour.

SDS: Stolen valour? Devin Mallory was a Major in the United States Marine Corps. His credentials are legitimate.

DS: I'm not talking about Mallory! I'm talking about that bobagem next to him. "El Soldado"? "The Soldier"? Seriously?

SDS: He has credentials, too!

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Title Talk

DS: Darryl, I can't get over that Cyclone kid. I thought he was done, and he just ran through Kruscher at the end and picked him up. That was superhuman!

SDS: Indeed it was, partner. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be challenging for the World Dominion title in the very near future, whether it's Paul Grizzly or Vito Montani.

Santos shakes his head at the mention of Montani.

SDS: Now, we've already been feeling the fallout of the end of Ascension, but two big title changes took place earlier in the show.

DS: That's right! We witnessed perfection when Dennis Zázrak took Tecton, even after his pathetic loser of an ex-partner, Talon, jumped him!

SDS: We'll hear from the new Tectonic Champion later tonight, just like we'll hear from the new Tag Team Champions, Pandemonium, very shortly. And Diogo, you and I, we're no strangers to tag team gold. Although I will admit you're more experienced in that department than me.

DS (smirks and nods, while holding up his fingers): 7 times, baby!

SDS: Have you ever been in or seen as one-sided a bout as we saw on Sunday in that tag team ladder match?

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Johnny Cyclone vs Kruscher

 Lightning strikes the stage before a high-energy 130 BPM rock track blasts through the speakers. 

DS: AAAAAH! What the hell?!

The two big screens display an endless looping clip of a tornado. Johnny Cyclone walks, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck while clenching his white-gloved fists. 

David Bekker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: One fall!

Cyclone starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, his freeform dreadlocks shaking every which way.

David Bekker: Introducing first, from Montgomery, Alabama, in the United States of America, standing 2 metres tall and weighing in at 115 kilos, JOHNNY CYCLONE!

Cyclone leaps into the air and comes crashing down, summoning a huge explosion of pyro. He marches down to the ring, slapping some hands with the fans.

PSW Fight Pit Episode 1 - Hero's Welcome

 

- 3 January 2031

The capacity crowd is rabid, held back by a chain-link barricade in the fog-filled arena. A ramp leads down from a stage with two big screens displaying the letters P S W in red, purple and blue, respectively, to the ring. The ring is completely white save for the steel-grey ropes and the words "FIGHT PIT" splattered on the apron in blue.

SDS: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Welcome everybody to the first episode of Psycho Style Wrestling's Friday Night Fight Pit. "Striking" Darryl Stroligo here with the "Carnival King" Diogo Santos, and we are LIVE from the Tenamaxtli Stadium in the town of Tequila!

DS: "Tequila", my ASS, Darryl! Have you tasted the stuff they got here? It's like drinking horse piss, companheiro. They should change the name!

SDS: How do you know what that tastes like?

DS: NO COMMENT!